Archive for June, 2016

He’s Got It Floored in Neutral

June 20, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Donald Trump is just spinning his wheels now and, to use his words, “it’s a a beautiful thing.”

Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has parted ways with his embattled campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, amid ongoing scrutiny over several missteps as the real estate mogul has sought to pivot to the general election.

Wouldn’t it be cool if Trump did it on teevee and said, “You’re FIRED!”

Trump has been under heavy fire in recent weeks for a string of damaging controversies, from his clumsy response to the mass shooting in Orlando to his highly personal attacks against a federal judge overseeing two lawsuits against him, to his campaign’s failure to disburse pledged donations meant for veterans’ charities.

Wait a minute!  Wait a minute.  You’re going to fire your campaign manager over something you said?

I want to share this with you.  This was photographed in Houston this weekend during Trump’s visit.  You might have to click here to see what it says.

 

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Well played, Texans, well played.

 

Yeah, Just Like on Teevee

June 18, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Donald Trump has been watching too much Wyatt Earp.  He seems to be convinced that a person at a dance club where alcohol is consumed could whip out a handgun and shoot someone who is firing a military grade weapon right between the eyes.

Seriously.  Speaking about the slaughter  in Orlando …

“If we had people with the bullets going in the opposite direction — right smack between the eyes of this maniac,” Trump said, pointing in a gun gesture to his forehead. “If some of those wonderful people had guns strapped right here, right to their waist or right to their ankle, and this son of a bitch comes out and starts shooting, and one of the people in that room happened to have it and goes boom, boom, you know what? That would have been a beautiful, beautiful sight, folks, that would have been a beautiful, beautiful sight.”

Has he ever shot a gun?  You know, at a target?  The average cop can’t do that, much less someone consuming alcohol on a dark dance floor.

Goes Boom Boom?  No, he has never shot a weapon.  No boom boom.

Does he know what caliber of weapon fits on an ankle?  Obviously not.

And he does read the newspaper and knows that an off-duty police officer working at the club immediately exchanged fire with the killer, right?

Thank for your assessment of the situation, Marshall Matt Dillon.

Hey, I have an idea, let’s get Bruce Lee to kick box him or somebody to do kung fu.

Holy cow.

 

Tom DeLay, Forever the Bug Man

June 18, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, he’s doing it again.  Tom DeLay is just the crook who won’t go away.

Because he can’t get a job and has nothing to do all day, Tom pranced his dancing butt over to TruNews, a triple z crazy radio show, and announced to everyone within earshot …

tommadDeLay said that the president has “put American lives in danger” and “emboldened” America’s enemies.

When Wiles asked if Obama is “actually on the other side of the war on terror,” DeLay said that Obama is “a Muslim sympathizer” who was “raised in a communist upbringing” and “hates America.”

But, in Tom’s defense, he only says that because he can’t say the N word.  Let the boy say the N word and he’ll be happy.

I’d like to say that this is the nuttiest thing my neighbor Tom DeLay has ever said, but it ain’t.

This man needs a job.  Please, somebody, hire him.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Trump Scam-a-Paloozers

June 18, 2016 By: Primo Encarnación Category: Uncategorized

Donald Trump is running for President. I say this by way of information because, just by looking at him, you can’t tell that. (With apologies to the Police) Every step he takes, every move he makes, every vow he breaks, every claim he stakes, he wants everyone watching him. Somehow, this is supposed to translate to victory, but he reminds me (with apologies to the creators of South Park) of the Underpants Gnomes.

Be a douchebag>> ??? >>> PRESIDENT!

Be a douchebag>> ??? >>> PRESIDENT!

It’s hard to tell if strategy is driving fundraising, or fundraising is driving strategy, but Trump is approaching the campaign as if the key to turning underwear into the Presidency is coming in under budget. The RNC sent him a list of 2 dozen big-ticket donors to call. He called three, then quit. I’m guessing that the first three didn’t offer to pony up $300 million each. I’m further guessing that the other donors aren’t the rally-going types.

By modern campaign standards, Trump’s team is vanishingly small. His ground game is non-existent. He intends that the RNC, which he feels belongs to him by right of conquest, does all the heavy lifting, while meanwhile insulting, offending or browbeating every GOP politician in earshot. Is all this by design, or are the money problems too daunting?

In addition to the Trump U mess, there are now questions about his famous charity, which doesn’t deliver on money unless forced to by the Washington Post, who subsequently were banned from TrumpLand, ostensibly for a bad headline but really because they cost the Donald the money by committing journalism. But it’s just that type of giving for political gain that is raising questions. The Trump Foundation is a 501(c)(3), which charities are not allowed to be involved in politics. But Trump uses it to dole out money for political ends. As in so many other things in TrumpLand, ethics questions are being raised.

That’s not supposed to be the job of a charity, that’s supposed to be the job of a SuperPAC, like the Great America PAC, which has been raising money hand over fist, partly through a series of skeevy commercials reminiscent of Ron Popeil on methamphetamine. Dial this 800 number and show your support for Donald.

"But wait, there's more!" said daMrs.

“But wait, there’s more!” said daMrs.

And then there’s another one from them been appearing on my TV urging 2.5 million “poll responses” before the “National Convention.”

"NOW how much would you pay?"

“NOW how much would you pay?”

This SuperDuperPAC is being run by former Reagan campaign manager Ed Rollins, a professional political hack whose roots go back to Nixon ’72, and who partnered up with Lee Atwater for some of the worst politics in our nation’s history. Atwater went on to work for the firm of Manafort, Stone and Black. Atwater has since gone on to his eternal reward. Paul Manafort is now the de facto head of Trump’s campaign, while Roger Stone is head of a competing SuperPac, the Committee to Restore America’s Greatness (the Committee to RAG?). Stone says Rollins is running a scam. Corey Lewandowski, who thinks he’s running the Trump campaign, says Stone is running a scam.

This is a scam; that’s a scam. You’re a crook; no YOU’RE a crook. This is a charity; this is a political slush fund.

Whatever all this is, it’s not a campaign for President.

Friday Toons

June 17, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Signe cartoon SIGN14e Orlando

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Clay Bennett editorial cartoon

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wpcbe160614

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Can’t I Leave You People Alone For Even One Day?

June 16, 2016 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Oh dear God.  Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket.

Number One:  His problem is that he can’t see dead people.

Texas Senator John Cornyn left the asylum and spake thusly during the Democratic filibuster …

“We’re trying to find out … whether this is an effort to find a solution and common ground or whether this is just an effort to try to embarrass people,” the Senate’s No. 2 Republican told The Hill Wednesday evening. “I haven’t yet concluded which one it is.”

It’s about dead people, you goofy old fool.

But, if you’re looking to place blame, you have …

Numero Two-o:  Goofy old fool John McCain knows who is responsible for Orlando.

Republican Sen. John McCain said Thursday that President Barack Obama is “directly responsible” for the mass shooting in Orlando, Florida, because of the rise of the Islamic State group on the president’s watch. But he later issued a statement saying that he “misspoke.”

Misspoke, my patootie.  If he had said he was drunk again just like the night he pick Sarah Palin, I could buy that.

Numero Three-o:  This is the bottom of hell.

The Orlando shooter and his wife exchanged text messages during the Pulse nightclub rampage, a law enforcement official briefed on the investigation told CNN.

Around 4 a.m. on June 12, about two hours after he started the attack and while holed up in a bathroom, Omar Mateen texted his wife, Noor Salman, asking if she’d seen the news, the official said.

At one point, she responded with a text saying that she loved him.

I can’t even think about that.

Thanks to Paul, Deb, and others for the heads up.