Poor Senate Republicans.  Not only do they face the prospect that 2 of the 3 men left running for their Party’s nomination are a choice between a guy they all hate and a guy who’s Donald Trump, but this morning they wake up to  —

President Barack Obama will announce his nomination for the Supreme Court today at 11:00 DeeCee time.

And odds are pretty good that it’s gonna be a highly qualified minority.  Wrong!

And from all anybody can tell, he’s a moderate.

Next up: Senate Republicans incidence of work-related self-injuries exceed the national average.

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I want y’all to meet Republican County Judge Joel Baker of Smith County.  Joel is a dedicated Christian and he wants you to know it.

As a Christian with an unequivocal faith in God, Joel does his best to honor God each day through daily work and worship and service at Marvin United Methodist Church.

You know, except when he’s sexting.

Yes, sireeeee, the guy who is the county judge was sexting with a total stranger while he was in his office, sitting on the Judicial Conduct Committee judging other judges’ behavior, and damn near everywhere else.

And he even sent pictures of his winkie to a total stranger.

It’s not the first time Judge Baker, that fine Republican church-going man, has been caught doing some powerfully weird stuff.

In 2011, he was  investigated for taking pictures of a young woman who rented a house next to property he owned.  The police pretty much gave him an unwarranted walk on it, and the sheriff even endorsed him for reelection.  This guy was screaming for help.

So y’all go on ahead and let Louie Gohmert know that we have something to add to the museum and it’s a doozy.  The only thing that belongs in that museum is a whole bucket of hypocrisy.

Primo says he’s snowed under at work so I’m gonna talk a minute about tonight’s results.  Like you, I will be plastered in front of the teevee watching this mess.

Florida will make or break Rubio.  Ohio will make or break Kasich.  Donald Trump will make nothing and break everything.

And Bernie Sanders might have another surprise in his bag.

Get your popcorn ready!

My governor is dumber than dog dump.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is hog butt hard on voter fraud.  He’s opposed to it.  He’s also opposed to hurricanes but that don’t stop ‘um.

Governor Abbott tweeted:

That up there is just a picture of his tweet so you can’t follow the link.  Here it is.

Poor Abbott fell in damn love with the headline ….

… but he didn’t read the story.

First off, Texas turnout in the March 1st primary was dismal.  The only state with a worse turnout than Texas was Louisiana.

There have been more than 80 cases of voter fraud prosecuted in Texas since 2002, a Politifact report found last year. Only a handful of those cases involved the kind of in-person voter fraud that Texas’ voter ID law aims to stop.

The newspaper relied on research that found “fewer Texans commit in-person voter fraud than get struck by lightning.

So, Greg, read the damn story.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

You probably heard the rumor that North Carolina public safety authorities were investigating Donald Trump for inciting a riot.

North Carolina public safety authorities cannot see lightning or hear thunder.

By Monday night, investigators determined that “the evidence does not meet the requisites of the law as established under the relevant North Carolina statute and case law to support a conviction of the crime of inciting a riot,” sheriff’s office spokesman Sean Swain said in a statement.

Arsonists don’t start fires.  Fire does.

`I will say this:  Donald Trump incites me to cuss at the teevee.

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Dr. Ben “Feeldamngood” Carson wants you to quit being so negative about Donald Trump.  After all, it’s just four years.

No, seriously.

“Even if Donald Trump turns out not to be such a great president, which I don’t think is the case, I think he’s going to surround himself with really good people, but even if he didn’t, we’re only looking at four years as opposed to multiple generations and perhaps the loss of the American dream forever.”

Carson does know that they’re going to give Trump the nuclear codes, right?

So, now we’re electing Presidents with the same care we take in trying a tiny sip of new wine.

And if the “really good people” is Ben Carson, spit that wine out because it’ll make is sleep walk 24 hours a day.

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