Primo says he’s snowed under at work so I’m gonna talk a minute about tonight’s results.  Like you, I will be plastered in front of the teevee watching this mess.

Florida will make or break Rubio.  Ohio will make or break Kasich.  Donald Trump will make nothing and break everything.

And Bernie Sanders might have another surprise in his bag.

Get your popcorn ready!

My governor is dumber than dog dump.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott is hog butt hard on voter fraud.  He’s opposed to it.  He’s also opposed to hurricanes but that don’t stop ‘um.

Governor Abbott tweeted:

That up there is just a picture of his tweet so you can’t follow the link.  Here it is.

Poor Abbott fell in damn love with the headline ….

… but he didn’t read the story.

First off, Texas turnout in the March 1st primary was dismal.  The only state with a worse turnout than Texas was Louisiana.

There have been more than 80 cases of voter fraud prosecuted in Texas since 2002, a Politifact report found last year. Only a handful of those cases involved the kind of in-person voter fraud that Texas’ voter ID law aims to stop.

The newspaper relied on research that found “fewer Texans commit in-person voter fraud than get struck by lightning.

So, Greg, read the damn story.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

You probably heard the rumor that North Carolina public safety authorities were investigating Donald Trump for inciting a riot.

North Carolina public safety authorities cannot see lightning or hear thunder.

By Monday night, investigators determined that “the evidence does not meet the requisites of the law as established under the relevant North Carolina statute and case law to support a conviction of the crime of inciting a riot,” sheriff’s office spokesman Sean Swain said in a statement.

Arsonists don’t start fires.  Fire does.

`I will say this:  Donald Trump incites me to cuss at the teevee.

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Dr. Ben “Feeldamngood” Carson wants you to quit being so negative about Donald Trump.  After all, it’s just four years.

No, seriously.

“Even if Donald Trump turns out not to be such a great president, which I don’t think is the case, I think he’s going to surround himself with really good people, but even if he didn’t, we’re only looking at four years as opposed to multiple generations and perhaps the loss of the American dream forever.”

Carson does know that they’re going to give Trump the nuclear codes, right?

So, now we’re electing Presidents with the same care we take in trying a tiny sip of new wine.

And if the “really good people” is Ben Carson, spit that wine out because it’ll make is sleep walk 24 hours a day.

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This photo was taken at the Trump Rally-That-Never-Was at Nuremburg Chicago.

She was mis-identified as a Sanders supporter from Chillicothe, Ohio, by one of Trump’s boys.

(Uday?  Qusay?  I can never tell them apart.)

But really, she’s an Illinois Nazi. (And Trump supporter…duh!)

Me too, Jake.  Me too.

Illinois Democratic voters are a grumpy bunch.

The polling firm of McKeon and Associates were polling Democratic voters for the presidential primary.

They are not sure about the poll’s accuracy because, “Many voters refused to take the survey because they were not allowed to vote for or against Trump.”

These were Democrats.  Oh dear Lord.

Donald Trump’s poll numbers are so high because they put him on tv so much and they put him on tv so much that his poll numbers are high. I have a headache.

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