About a decade ago, I told you about a lady in East Texas who found Jesus on her laundry room floor.

She explained …

“I’m not trying to show off, but I feel like I should share it with everyone,” Lacina said. “The Lord wouldn’t appreciate it if I didn’t show it to anyone.”

Well, it appears that every decade or so, God comes to East Texas.

One East Texas man believes he found fossils from Noah’s flood and a self-proclaimed fossil expert says he’s right.

“From Noah’s flood to my front yard, how much better can it get,” Wayne Propst said.

Yeah, the Indiana Jones of Tyler.  (Click here for a fabulous two minute video.)

The teevee station, in the interest of fairness and egg on their face, concludes …

For the record, we have not independently verified if the rocks are in fact historic.

Yeah, but who wants to ruin a good tourist business.

Thanks to Lorraine in Spring for the heads up.

It’s the New York Times so its gotta be true.  And I say that because you’re gonna swear on a stack of Bibles that this is satire.

A trail-worn herd of Republicans have decided that they need to stop Donald Trump.  And how are they gonna do it?  Well, first by circulating memos and threatening to have a meeting.

Among the recruits under discussion are Tom Coburn, a former Oklahoma senator who has told associates that he would be open to running, and Rick Perry, the former Texas governor who was suggested as a possible third-party candidate at a meeting of conservative activists on Thursday in Washington.

Yes, that Rick Perry.  And that idea was so eerily weird that the New York Times felt moved to add a picture of Rick Perry just so you’d know they meant that Rick Perry.

They are pondering having him run as an independent.  Honey, Rick Perry can’t even go to the bathroom by himself.  He does not know the meaning of the word independent.  And a lot of other words, too.

However, there would be some joy in history remembering Rick Perry as the man who put a Democratic in the White House.

We are having Senatorial / County Conventions (Caucus) in Texas today.

To make you smile —

Okay, so I love Elizabeth Warren.  I got to meet her in person once when she came to Texas to raise money and then offered to spend an afternoon raising money for the Texas Democratic Party.  She was the first candidate I ever saw do that.

But, here’s another reason to love her.

Rep. Blaine Luetkemeyer (R-Mo.) made the comments during a panel discussion at an American Bankers Association conference Wednesday. According to Politico, Luetkemeyer said people needed to “find a way to neuter” Warren, whom he called the “Darth Vader of the financial services world.”

Neuter?  Really, sir?

I think being called the “Darth Vader of the financial services world,” gets you into heaven no questions asked.  I’m pretty sure you get your own cloud.  And room service.  You know those golden streets?  Named after you.

Warren had a quick response.

“My first thought was Really? I’ve always seen myself more as a Princess Leia-type (as a senator and Resistance general who, unlike the guys, is never even remotely tempted by the dark side). Clearly the Force is not strong with Congressman Luetkemeyer (maybe he’s a Trekkie).”

Yeah, we’re laughing at you, Blaine.

You’re a doofus.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

Okay, so Texas has a new Agriculture Commissioner by the name of Sid Miller.  Ole Sid is a stinker.  I’ve talked about him plenty before now.

Sid is real conservative.  With his money.  With your money, not so much.  First thing he did after talking office was to hire all his totally unqualified friends to work for the State of Texas at six-figure salaries.

He’s got a reputation for being crazybutt all over.  Yeah, it started at his butt and then it spread over his whole body.

Here’s the latest.

Sid went to Oklahoma to get something called a Jesus-shot and billed the State of Texas for it.

Miller, a former rodeo cowboy who suffers from chronic pain, told the Houston Chronicle earlier this year he has received the “Jesus Shot,” a controversial but legal medication administered only by a single Oklahoma City-area doctor who claims that it takes away all pain for life.

Miller declined to confirm or deny whether he received the injection during the February 2015 trip.

Well, now he’s having to confirm it.  It seems his explanation fell apart like a cheap suitcase at the bus station.

He says it was a state business trip to tour the Oklahoma stockyards.  The tour never happened.

Ole Sid showed up unexpectedly at the Oklahoma State Capitol to get his picture taken but the stockyard tour thing did not go too well.

After being told last week that the Oklahoma agriculture department had said that he requested the meeting and did not show, Miller said his memory had been “jogged.”

“You’re correct,” he said, explaining that he proposed the meeting with the Oklahoma official because the two did not get enough time to talk at the conference earlier that week. He did fail to make the meeting, he acknowledged, but only because he and his aide had accidentally gone to the wrong place.

You know how there’s Three Stooges?  Sid is all three wrapped into one.

He’s decided to pay back the money because … “an abundance of caution.”  Caution?  Abundance?  Does he know what those words mean?

Jesus-shot?  I guess you’re wondering how a guy can make $300 for a Jesus-shot in Oklahoma.

The “Jesus Shot” is a legal medical procedure, according to the Oklahoma Medical Board. It apparently was created 33 years ago by John Michael Lonergan, who goes by “Dr. Mike.”

Lonergan moved to Oklahoma a decade ago after losing his Ohio medical license when he was convicted of felony tax evasion, records show.

The “Jesus Shot” costs about $300 and includes Dexamethasone, Kenalog and B12, which have each been approved to treat inflammation, according to Dr. Mary Schrick of Full Circle Integrated Health in Edmond, Okla., which used to host Lonergan’s practice.

Reached at the Priceless Beauty Spa in Kingfisher, Oklahoma, where he works on Thursday mornings, Lonergan declined to comment.

Apparently, the Priceless Beauty Spa doesn’t have the same high standards that The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. has.

Thanks to Fred Farklestone for the heads up.

Marco Rubio returned to his Senate office yesterday. The erstwhile Presidential candidate took a lot of hits for absenteeism while on the trail, so he came back to work finally.

For one day.

Honestly, the only person who works less than a typical US Senator is the junior US Senator from Florida. The Senate is debarking on their annual Easter break, from the Friday before Palm Sunday, until they return the Monday after the Sunday after Easter. Then they are off May 2-6 for who knows what, May Day? Then May 30-June 3 for Memorial Day.

Senate Memorial Day is a big deal this year, because Senator Patrick Leahy, the ranking Dem on the Judiciary Committee, said Wednesday that the Senate should have PLENTY of time, vacations notwithstanding, to give Judge Merrick Garland a full hearing and an up-or-down vote by Memorial Day.

This is the first official deadline imposed by the Democrats on the Grand Old Party Of No regarding the SCOTUS nomination, and you should pay attention to it. While Republicans kick and fuss and hold their breath until the country turns blue, Dems and the President, I believe, have a plan.

The timing remains to be seen, but as early as May 31, or perhaps during the Fourth of July recess (7/1-7/5) but certainly no later than summer recess (7/18-9/5) – and EARLY in that break – President Obama will seat Merrick Garland on the Supreme Court as a recess appointment.

It is the logical move, although I believe that the GOP will try to find some way to pretend that the Senate is not in recess. But if they leave Obama an opening, I believe he will give them just enough rope to hang themselves, then drop the floor from underneath them.

The plot thus far is working brilliantly: 1) let them bloviate about how they will obstruct 2) nominate the most qualified jurist 3) let them bloviate some more and actually obstruct 4) give them a reasonable deadline to be reasonable 5) let them bloviate and obstruct even more 6) give them what they want.

Wait, what? Run that number 6 by me again? Yes, give them exactly what they want. “Wait until after the election,” they obstruct. “Let the American people decide,” they bloviate. “Fine!” Obama should respond, “but in the meantime, the work of the Court must continue, and the Constitution has explicitly given us a remedy for just these types of situations. I hereby appoint Merrick Garland as Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court, to serve until fully confirmed or denied in January, 2017, by the newly-elected Senate of the 115th Congress.  The people will have decided… AGAIN!”