Well, just when you thought that Ted Cruz’s family tree didn’t fork, you find out about branches growing which every way.

On Ted Cruz’s Canadian birth certificate, his mother is listed as Eleanor Darragh Wilson, using the last name of her first husband, Alan Wilson. The Fort Worth native and long-time resident of London, Wilson is now an unwitting player in the drama that surrounds Cruz’s family.

Wilson, who has never previously spoken about his past with the news media, told McClatchy in a telephone interview from London that he did not realize he was connected to the U.S. Texas senator, however indirect. He didn’t realize that his first wife, Eleanor, whose maiden name is Darragh, had such a well-known son, whose citizenship is at issue in the presidential campaign, or that “Wilson” is on the birth certificate.

I gotta say it.  I just gotta:  Hey, Ted, who’s your daddy?

More family secrets spill forth.  It turns out Ted’s mom wasn’t real clear about who she was married to when she had babies.

Now all these family matters don’t mean diddle squat to me, but they obviously matter greatly to Ted because he is real tight with the birthers and he would be the first to preach about having babies out of wedlock.

Too bad he didn’t sugar coat his words because eating them is gonna choke him.

Thanks to Fred for the heads up.

Okay, there’s a Democratic Debate tonight but Debbie Wasserman Schultz did everything she could to hide it.

Please feel free to comment during the debate.  Do NOT bash Hillary, Bernie, or Martin – they are all good people and we are damn lucky to have them.  You can say something nice about your candidate but please refrain from bashing any Democratic presidential candidate.

You may bash the Democratic National Committee all you want to.  I will even pile on.

The United States bombed an Isis money hoard in Iraq.

(Click the little one to get the big one.)

And all I could think of was this ….

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

So, just like Republican Parties across the county, my local Republican party is split worse than size 8 pants on Verdelia. And Honey, exactly like Verdelia, their hiney is hanging out.

The challenger to the Republican Party Chairman, Mr. Bill Michie, announced that he was running against the incumbent chairman, Mr. Mike Gibson, because “party funds have dwindled to the point that the party is virtually broke.”

Honey, there ain’t no “virtual” about it.  They’ve got debt so deep that they are hoping to strike oil or China.

Their reports to the Federal Election Commission have been a mess since the first of the year but things got really out of hand last June, when they reported that the Fort Bend County Republican Party was $22,680.63 in debt. Click here to see for yourownself.

Well, the Federal Elections Commission immediately asked, “What the hell?” You cannot show debt without explaining who you owe it to and what for.  I mean, did somebody abscond to Vegas with the Lincoln Day Dinner receipts?

So, the FEC sent the Republican Party of Fort Bend County a letter, asking politely for an explanation.  Here ya go. And they continued to send the same letter every month asking for an explanation.

Here is the explanation the Party gave to the FEC in August 2015.  Reports showing the growing debt every month refers back to this explanation.

Now here it is the middle of January, which is a few days since August, and there is still no “reconciliation.”

To make matters worse, they are starting off this year with a negative cash balance of $29,245.13. And here it is.

Now, if it takes the Republican Party six months to figure out where $23,000 went and how it grew to $29,000 for apparently no reason whatsoever, I flat ain’t trusting them with my tax money.  Not that I ever did, mind you, but when they ask me for a reason, I have a damn good one.

Now what makes it especially fun for me is that at almost every election a local Republicans files a complaint with the FEC whining that the local Democrats have broken the law and are total scoundrels because we don’t file with the FEC.  Every election we answer with applicable law and proper receipts explaining that we don’t spend more than $1,000 on federal races so we don’t have to file with the FEC.  No big deal, but it takes time to get all that stuff together and find a damn stamp.

I haven’t file a complaint against them because I’m figure living dangerously is a Republican tradition.

And if there’s any Republicans out there reading this, do not give your local party any more money than you can afford to put in a paper bag and set on fire just to watch it burn because, Honey, they do not have a clue where that money goes when it lands in their pockets.

Oh, by the way, tonight is their annual fundraising dinner.

Have a great weekend!

As if Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton didn’t have enough poop on his plate, now he’s under investigation for a damn skimpy land deal.

Paxton is already under indictment for felony stock fraud and now he’s got this —

Two additional special prosecutors have been appointed to look into other allegations of criminal misconduct involving Attorney General Ken Paxton, News 8 has learned.

The two Fort Worth attorneys – Miles Brissette and former state district Judge Bob Gill – were appointed Nov. 13 to investigate “criminal allegations” involving Paxton and others, according to filings obtained by News 8. The filings do not state who the “others” are.

News 8 has learned that the two men are looking into a 2004 land deal involving Paxton and other investors including Collin County District Attorney Greg Willis. That land would later become the site of the Collin Central Appraisal District.

Oh please, please, please, Sweet Floozie Mother of All That is Fair and Righteous, let him take down some other elected Republicans with him.