Archive for October, 2015

Fun With Guns: What Was You Thinking Edition

October 27, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s a guy in South Carolina who agrees with me that there’s way too many guns on our streets.

So, obviously, he went about doing something about that.  Now, I doubt that was his original intention but holy moly look at what he accomplished.

 

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And Republicans love to say that Obama is trying to take away our guns. No, it is not Obama, it is Brent Nicholson in Chesterfield County!

gunsHe started stealing guns and by the time he got caught, he had 10,000 guns.  Well, they think he had 10,000 guns.  Police admit they stopped counting after a while. This guy was America’s #1 hoarder.

He also had 500 chain saws. Obviously he was planning a major deforestation effort.

Now I know you are asking yourself how one man amassed 10,000 stolen guns and how long did it take him. Honey, this is South Carolina. He could pick up that many in one weekend over at the trailer park.

My favorite part was his neighbor’s reaction.

One of Nicholson’s neighbors was shocked to learn of the scary stockpiling next door.

“He’s always been a good cat, but you know, people do things,” Rusty Fender told WBTV.

He had quite a few questions for his former neighbor.

“What was you thinking?” he said.

“Why was you collecting that many firearms? What was you planning on doing with them? I mean was you planning on starting a riot?”

Indeed, what was you thinking?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Oh Dear God Help Me Not Slap This Man Upside The Head

October 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Donald Damn Trump.

Celebrity tycoon Donald Trump continued his tour of New Hampshire on Monday by saying at a campaign rally prior to an Atkinson town hall with “Today” that women who wear burkas may be doing so to avoid putting on make-up.

That right there is his entire understanding of the Middle East: Life is easier for women in burkas because they don’t have to put on makeup.

Oh hell yes, there’s a video.

Yeah, yeah, here’s a man yakkin’ his mouth about oppressed women being so lucky because they don’t have to wear make-up.

How ’bout this, Donald?  How ’bout we make all women lucky by putting a sack over your damn head?

It cannot get worse. There is no worse. Please tell me this is the worse.  Please.

Makeup. We will have a foreign policy based on makeup.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

 

Fun With Guns: Could Have Seen This Coming Edition

October 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Allie Carter is 25 years old and is an Indiana Conservation Officer, so it was no surprise that she was on a waterfowl hunt last weekend.

It was also not  surprising that she has a 12-gage shotgun and a hunting dog.

She laid her shotgun down and her dog stepped on it and shot her.

The dog’s name?

Trigger.

I could not make this up.

I do not know where the good guy with a gun was but that sure ain’t the damn dog.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.

 

Y’all, Miz Lindsey Is All A’Buzzing

October 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Miz Lindsey was on Morning Joe and had this summation of the Republican race.

“On our side, you’ve got the No. 2 guy tried to kill someone at 14 and the No. 1 guy is high energy and crazy as hell,” Graham said. “How am I losing to these people? Just look at Donald Trump’s foreign policy. What is it? What’s he going to do about ISIL? What is it? What is it? What is his game plan to destroy ISIL? Does anybody know?”

Yeah, that’s how it is.

Last night, I was discussing this with a friend who is just certain that all this is a big show to give Mitt Romney an opening.

If it is, he’ll have to rise up out of the rubble pretty damn soon or they will have to use a tea strainer to find chunks of the Republican Party.

 

Wait! Is America Running Out Of Old Mean White People?

October 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, Tea Party congressman, about face!

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans’ support for the Tea Party has dropped to its lowest level since the movement emerged on the national political scene prior to the 2010 midterm elections. Seventeen percent of Americans now consider themselves Tea Party supporters, and a record 54% say they are neither supporters nor opponents.

Hey, it started out as 60% among Republicans and it’s dropping like a hot horseshoe.

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So, all those Tea Party congressmen will be liberaling-up in the coming days.

 

Holy Crap: Cowboy Commandments Edition

October 26, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

This story gets exciting sometime last month, when the Oklahoma Republican Legislature accepted a privately funded enormous tombstone-looking thing and put it on the grounds of the state capitol building.  The tombstone had the ten commandments chiseled into it.

The Oklahoma Supreme Court said that amounted to the state promoting religion and that it had to be removed. So in the middle of the night, some guys came and moved it a few blocks away to the front yard of a conservative think tank. I know that conservative think tank is an oxymoron, but now they are a conservative think tank that covets not their neighbor’s wife, which is even harder to believe.

Anyway, a couple of Texas steeple people with horses and unkept hair decide it would be a mess of fun to get a make-believe stone tablet with the ten commandments on it and ride their horses to Oklahoma to present it to the Governor, Mary Fallin, a woman with also unkept hair.

They invited all the Christian people of Texas and Oklahoma to join them in front of the Oklahoma Capitol building to present Governor Fallin’ with a one foot by two foot ten commandment tombstone.  Hordes of 40 people showed up.

 

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I do not know if their horses crapped all over the grounds of the state capitol but, face it, that’s what horses do.  Bulls, of course, would have left a more appropriate offering.

Governor Fallin says she’s gonna hang the tombstone thingy in her office. I suspect right beside her velvet Elvis painting.

Yeah, Texas really hates Oklahoma.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.