Preachersplainin’ it.

Dr. Craig Conner, senior pastor of the First Baptist Church of Panama City, threatened to stop paying taxes at the risk of being sentenced to jail if the federal government did not defund Planned Parenthood.

Look, Preacher, here’s the deal. Go to jail. Mosey on over there. It’s easy to talk big when your church doesn’t pay taxes and the fancy-pants home you live in is owned by the church as is your car and probably your barbeque pit so no taxes are paid on that either.

But the Preacher doesn’t stop there.

“You want to talk about reducing the national debt?” Conner continued. “We could reduce it overnight if they would defund this evil organization and put it on the national debt. Man, we could get out of debt immediately.”

Okay, how does that exactly work?  The national debt is $18 trillion dollars.  Planned Parenthood gets $540 million dollars.  Is this one of those fishes and loaves deals because that would be super cool to see.

Conner said that Planned Parenthood had met the biblical definitions for evil, wicked, ungodly, hellish and shameful.

But running up an $18 trillion debt to kill people in a war is dandy okay with God.

Somebody needs thread the Bible to this guy.

The 75 year old Mayor of Talladega, Alabama, made the news today because he was shamelessly attacked outside a barber shop where he works part time.

Larry Barton, who is about to run for his fifth term as mayor of Talladega — and who was re-elected in 2011 after serving prison time for fraud — told NBC News from his hospital room at the University of Alabama that the attack began around 7:30 a.m. (8:30 a.m. ET) Saturday in the parking lot of Cahaba Heights Plaza Barber Shop in Vestavia Hills.

The assailant was wearing a coat and hood and his weapon of choice was “a sawed-off baseball bat.”  My theory is that a sawed-off baseball bat is actually a lesser weapon than a actual baseball bat.  However sawed-off baseball bat sound so damn badass.

In Barton’s own words.

Barton said that he eventually grabbed the bat and held on to it, then kicked the man twice in the groin.

He’s 75 years old.

Barton identified the assailant as 72 year old Benny Green, a man who used to do a talk radio show with him.  Barton says he has “no idea” why Green would attack him.

But, someone else does.

Barton said that he didn’t know why Green would attack him, but The Birmingham News reported that it could have been over an alleged sex tape.

“Barton was caught on hidden video having sex with Green’s wife,” a former divorce lawyer for Green said, according to the newspaper.

Barton, however, told NBC News that he didn’t know anything about a sex tape. “I don’t know what they’re talking about,” he said.

He’s 75 years old.  He probably forgot all about it.

Thank you, Alabama.

Well, so much for going into your closet to pray.

Houston, Texas.

My Photoshop geek says part of the background is photoshopped but the car is not.  (Click the little picture to see the big one.)

Nothing chaps my butt like non-handicapped people who park in handicapped spaces, which they believe covers twits with narcissistic personalities.

If it bothers you, too, now you can do something about it.

The city of Houston offers training to discourage able bodied people from taking the parking space from handicapped people.

Take 4 hours of training and you can start issuing citations.  How cool is that?  I consider it my own personal war against jerks.

I did a Google on it and many other cities offer the training.

You know you’re going to see it happen and wished you had taken the training, right?

Take the training.  I thank you.  Momma thanks you.  And thousands of people in wheelchairs and walkers thank you.

There’s a new camera out that follows a tracking device that you wear on your wrist.  The results are pretty spectacular.

New products used to rollout by saying it’s so easy a child can do it.  That’s no longer true in the tech world.  The Lily camera makes the point that it’s so easy that Grandpa can use it.

Check it out.

Hey you cocky little jerk, our generation put a man on the damn moon.  We don’t need no sass from you.

To those of you who thought that Dr. Ben Carson was pretty much left out of the Republican debate, there’s good news – it appears that at GOP debates, silence is golden.

One America News Network, “OAN”, a credible source for 24/7 national and international news, released this evening its Post GOP Debate Poll results conducted by Gravis Marketing. Two primary questions asked to Republican polled participants were “Who do you think won the debate?” and “Who do you think lost the debate?” GOP Presidential Candidates Ben Carson and Marco Rubio scored well in both categories.

Seriously, Republicans are saying that Ben Carson won.  See?  They are not racists.  Especially when it comes to someone who has a popsicle’s chance in hell of ever having any power.

I only heard him speak twice and both times he seemed confused.  I guess that’s not fair.  I certain he was confused about why they even noticed he was on the stage.