Myrtle Beach, South Carolina – the home of Vanna White from The Wheel of Fortune and I bet you didn’t know that – is kinda nut country despite being on one of the most beautiful beaches on the east coast.

They have a minister there by the name of Danny Banks.  Danny got all wound up this weekend and told his flock that “allowing their children attend sex education courses in public schools was like letting kids play with rattlesnakes and cobras.”

Think you could have gotten a little more phallic there, Danny?

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Right-wingers online compare everything to Hitler.  There’s even a law for it, called Godwin’s Law, which postulates …

Godwin’s Law (or Godwin’s Rule of Nazi Analogies) is an Internet adage asserting that “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1″—​ that is, if an online discussion (regardless of topic or scope) goes on long enough, sooner or later someone will compare someone or something to Hitler or Nazism.

Mike Huckabee opted for sooner.

Holy.  Damn.  Crap.

I think Huckabee is running for Prime Minster of Israel. I hope he doesn’t wn because he makes Netanyahu look like a hippie peacenik.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Bobby Jindal announced that it was too soon to talk about gun control after the slaughter of Louisiana citizens sitting in a movie theater.  We need to wait for 10 or 12 thousand other slaughters before we mention the word gun.

The Louisiana shooter was able to legally buy a gun at an Alabama pawnshop.  Hell, you can buy anything at an Alabama pawnshop including a wife, broken dreams, and banjos directly from Deliverance.

Jindal claims the shooter would never have been able to buy guns in Louisiana because he was nuts with charges of soliciting arson and domestic violence.  So Jindal’s solution is that every state have tough background checks like Louisiana.

Idiot.

That’s the whole damn problem with “state’s rights.”  There’s some ornery states, mostly including the one I live in.  We sell guns to kindergartners in Texas. And because of something called pockets, you can buy a gun in Texas and shoot somebody in Louisiana.

You just made our case, Bobby.

And then up bounced Rick Perry.

God help us all.

Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) claimed that if people could bring their guns to the movies, they could have prevented the movie theater shooting in Lafayette, Louisiana, Thursday evening.

“These concepts of gun-free zones are a bad idea. I think that you allow the citizens of this country — who have been appropriately trained, appropriately backgrounded, know how to handle and use firearms — to carry them,”

Yeah, yeah!  What this country really needs is amateurs shooting guns in dark movie theaters.  Hell, we don’t need on damn movie – we’ll just do The Gun Fight at OK Corral right there in the audience.

Those damn smart glasses didn’t help Rick Perry one bit.

Thanks to chloe bear and Mikey for the heads up.

The police are not releasing her name yet so we’ll just call her Thelma.

Thelma had a spat with the soon-to-be-former-Mr.-Wonderful, so she did what any self-respecting woman would do and took all his clothes outside and set them on fire.

I suspect the Ex Mr. Wonderful didn’t have a bass boat because if he did, she would have burned his clothes in his bass boat and tossed his bowling ball in for good measure.

The highlight of this event was spectacular. Let me quote from the local newspaper because Lord knows they are accustomed to writing this kind of story.

Jasper Fire Marshal Mike Collier says his investigation into a Wednesday afternoon fire which destroyed one house, and heavily damaged another, has revealed that the blaze was accidentally caused by a woman who threw her husband’s clothes outside next to the wooden porch, and then lit them on fire.

The incident happened shortly after 3:00 in the 200 block of Edgewood Street, on the east side of Jasper. Both the Jasper and East End Fire Departments arrived to find a singlewide mobile home almost completely engulfed. A short time later, the intense heat ignited one side of another mobile home next door, and burned one bedroom of that structure.

Luckily no one was injured.

Actual fire in actual East Teas caused by smoldering polyester.

Police are looking for (not her real name) Thelma but she is nowhere to be found.

I suspect she has joined the Louie Gohmert Traveling Circus where she will quickly make friends with like-minded people.

Y’all, seriously.  Republican Senator Mike Lee of Utah has got himself a plan to finally, oh dear God finally, repeal Obamacare.

Conservative firebrand Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) announced on Friday that he plans to use a complicated procedural maneuver known as the nuclear option to repeal the Affordable Care Act with just 51 votes.

I think this makes about 2,614th time they have tried to repeal Obamacare.

If they succeed, 16.4 million people will immediately be without health insurance and probably really pissed off about it.

I suspect Lee will want anyone with Obamacare who is currently hospitalized to be pushed out into the parking lot with some aspirin and a bottle of cough syrup.

Republicans – admit it – just damn admit it.  You do not like it because (1) it works, and (2) you were dumb enough to name it after him.

Under the wake up to a giggle flag, we have breaking news coming to my cellphone this morning.

Donald Trump is running strong in the early nominating states of Iowa and New Hampshire, according to two new NBC News-Marist polls.

Trump leads the Republican presidential field in New Hampshire, getting support from 21 percent of potential GOP primary voters. He’s followed by Jeb Bush at 14 percent, Scott Walker at 12 percent and John Kasich at 7 percent.

So this means that Trump gets center stage at the GOP debate early next month and the centerfold of Weird Hair Don’t Care monthly magazine.

And the GOP is fretting like a grandma with ten snakes in the garden and one hoe.  Molly Ball in The Atlantic says, “Trump has the Republican Party by the throat. It cannot figure out how to get rid of him.”

Yet the party has no power over Trump. He has the money, he has the press, he has the voters. If he does not feel the GOP is treating him fairly, he is considering running as an independent instead. In that case, polls indicate he would take a chunk of votes from the Republican candidate, and Hillary Clinton would win by a large margin.”

Go Donald, Go!

Trump is doing so well that the other GOP candidates have to attack him just to get any attention.  Lindsey Graham was the Nowhere Man until he attacked Trump.  Rick Perry was invisible until he called Trump a cancer on conservatism.  Whoa, I thought conservatives was a damn cancer.

In my mind, here’s the deal.  In his book, The American we Deserve, Trump explains that he supports an assault weapons ban.

I generally oppose gun control, but I support the ban on assault weapons and I support a slightly longer waiting period to purchase a gun.

He has also flipped flopped all over the place on choice.  He says he was pro-choice until he heard some “personal stories,” so we’ll tell him some other personal stories and he’ll be back pro-choice in a – excuse me – New York minute.

Best I know, he’s never been to church in his life, and people opposed to lightning strikes hope that continues.

So, here’s the deal – he opposes things the Republicans love and loves the things they oppose, except one.  He’s a damn racist.  That is the only grounds on which a Republican could support him.

The only times he gets polls boosts is when he does something racist.  President Obama’s birth certificate?  Totally racist.  Border issues?  Racist.

So, Donald Trump’s support come from racist GOP members.  And, apparently, they control the GOP right now.

Not that anydamnbody should be surprised.

 Thanks to Scott for getting me to think about this.