California Republican State Assemblywoman Shannon Grove has discovered what is causing the droughts in California.  Abortion.

Yeah, you never figured that, did you?

Grove usually spends her time drafting right-wing legislation that never makes it out of committee. Last week, though, she hit the publicity jackpot when she told the California ProLife Legislative banquet that the drought is God’s punishment for California’s legalization of abortion.

But if you’re wondering what that has to do with me in Texas, I am fixing to tell you.

In her remarks to the Sacramento gathering, she cited what she said was Perry’s experience with a situation identical to California’s: “Texas was in a long period of drought until Governor Perry signed the fetal pain bill,” she told the audience, referring to a measure that banned abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy. “It rained that night. Now God has His hold on California.”

First off, that never happened.  Perry signed that bill on July 18, 2013.  There as no rain on that day.

Hellfire, it did not start raining in Texas until after Rick Perry resigned and left office.

Plus, you might want to be careful what you pray for.  Last month, Texas got enough rain to cover the entire state with 8 inches of water.  Twenty two people died in the floods and our self-sustaining Republican leadership had to go begging President Barack Obama for disaster relief.

Torrential rains have already given Texas the wettest month on record, according to Texas A&M climatologists. And extreme river and creek flooding has broken many records and swept away hundreds of homes.

Annndddd …. look what’s headed our way.

They are saying a foot of rainfall south of Houston.  Where do I live?  South of damn Houston.

So if this sucker gets here and my house floats away, I get to blame Rick Perry and lack of choice for women?  Heck, that might be worth it.

Upscale redneck.

A woman was shot in the head and four others suffered injuries after a wedding guest’s gun accidentally went off during a reception at the Waldorf Astoria.

Vladimir Gotlibovsky, 42, allegedly fired into the floor of the lobby of the world famous hotel in New York City as wedding reception photos were being taken at around 7.25pm.

Everybody is gonna recover and the gunman claims to be a licensed gun carrier but the police think he handed-off the gun to someone else after the accidental shooting.  They were searching area garbage cans for the gun, hoping they find it before bad guys or children do.

Best line of the night?

‘How could that happen here?’ asked a 53-year-old tourist from Holland who identified himself as Anthony told the Daily News. ‘That’s horrible. I come here and I always hear New York is dangerous, but come on? Even at the Waldorf?’

Apparently so, Anthony.

Thanks to Charles and Kathy for the heads up.

Old white men gather together to watch Greg Abbott sign the open law carry in Texas.

I dunno. I think I’ll title this:  I’ve Heard Of Covering Your Butt, But Covering Your Winkie is New To Me.

The only guy not trying to cover his winkie is the one who hasn’t seen his in a decade.

Y’all, this running for President stuff is haaaaaard.

I mean, you actually have to work.

Ted Cruz is not happy about this turn of events.  He sent out a fundraising letter where he whined about all the hardships he’s enduring.

Cruz moans that he’s “sacrificing a great deal” to seek the White House. He has less time with his family. He and his wife Heidi, who until recently was a Goldman Sachs executive, are taking a financial hit because of the campaign. His personal time is encroached upon by campaign obligations. (“My days are no longer my own,” he grouses. “Days start before dawn and many times don’t end until early the next morning.”) And, perhaps worst of all, the food is lousy, and—OMG!—campaigning interferes with his sleep needs: “My runoff campaign for the Senate in 2012 took a toll, but now I’m sacrificing even more sleep with long nights and constant travel.”

Yes, I imagine it’s tough getting by on Ted’s $175,000 senate salary and his wife’s vacation time at Goldman Sachs.

I was fixing to whine that I’m upset about paying Ted’s salary for him not to do his job to represent me in the senate, but then I realized I’d be happy to pay for that.

Let me see here.  We pay a private in the army $18,000 a year and a staff sergeant $28,000 – plus they sleep outside and have to carry their own luggage.

A school teacher in Abilene, Texas, makes about $45,000 a year – plus, they have to put up with your damn kids.

A minimum wage worker at Walmart makes $15,000 a year in Texas – plus, they don’t get health insurance or the senate dining room.

Let’s talk about sacrifices, Ted.  Wanna do that?

Thanks to John for the heads up.

I just got this from Rick Perry.

The subject of the email was “Not Ready for Hillary.”

Well, son, looking at your poll numbers, we ain’t ready for dumbo either.

Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Look, I’m not saying that drugs were involved, but …

A Colorado Springs man who shot himself in the foot on Wednesday night did it because he “wanted to know what it felt like to be shot,” police say.

Hirtle told police he took off his boot, shot it, put it back on and then shot himself in the foot in his garage. He did not sustain life-threatening injury and no one else was injured during the incident.

I want to know what the boot did to justify shooting it twice.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.