All you folks who said that W. Bush was the dumbest man on earth have some crow-eating to do.

Oh dear Lord in a Florida swamp – Andrew Card just killed Jeb Bush’s chance of being president.

Talking about Dubya’s Iraq war and Jeb’s answer to it, Card explained intellect.

“Morning Joe” co-host Joe Scarborough asked Card why it took Jeb Bush four days to articulate his position.

“It did. It shouldn’t have taken them that long,” Card responded. “I don’t think it would have taken his brother that long to clear it up.”

So what he’s saying here is that Dubya is quicker and smarter than Jeb.  Honey, that’s dog dump dumb.

Seriously.

Let’s all hear it for Lt. Governor Dan Patrick.  He wants to eliminate In-State tuition for Texas colleges and universities, making higher education out of the reach of 97% of Texans.

It started as an effort to deny in-state tuition to Dreamers – kids brought to this country through no fault of their own, have played by the rules and gained competitive entry into state institutions.  But, what they hell, Dan Patrick has decided to extend it to everydamnbody by moving it to the Senate calendar.

Moments ago, SB 1819, the legislation that would repeal in-state tuition for Texans regardless of status, was added to the Senate Intent Calendar. That means that the bill could come up for a vote before the full Senate as early as tomorrow.

And people say that elections don’t matter.

Thanks to Jane for the heads up.

Okay, so come to find out, Bill O’Reilly is being accused of assault against his newly-ex wife.

O’Reilly says it’s not true but …

I am going to respect the court-mandated confidentiality put in place to protect my children and will not comment any further,” he said.

Kinda reminds me of his 2004 sexual harassment lawsuit settled out of court because he can’t discuss that one either.

Okay, so it’s horrible of me to assume that a hot-tempered, misogynistic, controlling man like O’Reilly is the kind of person who would do that but I’ve come to … quack, quack, quack.  Look!  A duck!

Their 2011 divorce, leading to a custody dispute that wrapped up three weeks ago, resulted in McPhilmy winning custody of their two minor children.

Yeah, well, and that.  I’d say that’s good news but I doubt any woman who would marry O’Reilly has any business raising children.

This is an actual sign in actual Kentucky on an actual backroad.

I’m gonna get baptized and apply to be a deacon.

Thanks to Richard for the heads up.

Montana.  Big Sky Country.  Mean people.

A guy goes into a bar.  He orders a Red Beer – beer with tomato juice.

The 29 year old bartender mixes the beer with Clamato, a tomato juice and clam mixture.  The guy, 59 year old Monte Hanson, is livid.

After the bar closed, Hanson reportedly went to the home of Joe Lewis, the 29-year old bartender. Hanson says it’s against his religious beliefs – he is Jewish – to drink Clamato, so he allegedly shot Lewis.

The bartender was hospitalized but will recover.

And as you would expect, the recipe for a red beer is beer and Clamato.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Texas State Senator Joan Huffman, Republican from Crap, Texas, says that the Texas Senate is going to go ahead and approve loosening of gun laws and open carry despite the bloodbath the day before in Waco.

“This bill does not have anything to do with what went on yesterday,” said state Sen. Joan Huffman, a Houston Republican who leads the Senate State Affairs Committee, during a previously scheduled hearing on gun legislation.

Yeah, and rain has nothing to do with flooding.

Huffman’s comments came after several witnesses, including Austin Assistant Police Chief Troy Gay, brought up the shootout during their testimony on the bill.

Gay told senators that the “chaotic situation” in Waco could have been made much worse by the confusion an open carry law would bring to responding police officers.

Can you even imagine what would have happened if every yahoo in Waco joined  in that gunfight?  And you need to consider that 95% of the population of Waco carries the yahoo gene.

Appropriately enough, the head yahoo had something to say.

Later, gun rights activist CJ Grisham said that attempts to link the violence in Waco to open carry “really kind of falls on deaf ears.”

What doesn’t mention is that they’re deaf because they’re brain dead.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.