Look, I ain’t no fan of Grover Norquist, which kinda scares me since I found out that Glenn Beck isn’t either.

However, Glenn and I have different reason.  I don’t like Norquist because he had congressmen sign an oath to help him shrink government to a size where he could drown it in the bathtub.

Glenn doesn’t like Norquist because he’s a secret Muslim.  And he’s also a “very bad man.”

Beck is so alarmed by the danger posed by Norquist that he declared that if this “very bad man” is re-elected to the NRA board, he is going to cancel his membership.

Well, that’s one way to shrink the NRA and drown it in the bathtub.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.

Ted Cruz is trying to scare old white people and little baby girls into following him into hell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkGvmL16Clo

I think it might be child abuse to bring a child to Ted Cruz concerts.  I mean, please, at least put headphones on her.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I told you about my friend Judge Susan Criss, who was the judge in the Galveston trial of Robert Durst in HBO’s Jinx.  He admitted to killing his neighbor and then chopping him up and dumping him into Galveston Bay.  He argued self-defense and was acquitted.

When Durst was arrested last summer for purposely peeing on the checkout counter and candy display at a Houston CVS pharmacy, Durst’s lawyer claimed that we should all feel sorry for Durst.

On Tuesday morning, after arranging for Durst to turn himself into authorities in connection with the odd incident at the drug store, Lewis once again defended his client, whom he said suffers from a form of autism known as Asperger s syndrome.

I take issue with someone that says crazy, Lewis said. Bob s not crazy. Bob s a guy who’s just trying to live through the twilight of his life. And it s very difficult when you’re Bob Durst.

Well, life seems to be more difficult for the people around Durst who, you know, keep turning up dead.    They have dead syndrome.

Durst was arrested this morning in New Orleans on a murder warrant from California.

“I could not be more pleased about this,” Judge Susan Criss, who oversaw the Galveston trial, told ABC affiliate KTRK after hearing about Durst’s latest arrest. “I do think this will stick. It’s amazing how many times the ball has been dropped when he’s been suspected of murder. But I’m hopeful for this one to stick especially so that the families can have closure.”

His lawyer says that it’s a publicity stunt by HBO.  His lawyer has delusion syndrome.

I think I may have told you the story about me being a young reporter at a city council meeting where the fire department was presenting their projected budget.  Among other fancy pants things the fire chief wanted in this small town was an eight story fire ladder.

A councilwoman was confused and asked, “Chief, why do you need an eight story fire truck ladder when the tallest building in town is two stories?”  She asked it nicely because she assumed it was something she didn’t understand about fire ladders.

The chief puffed himself up all tall, smug, and knowledgeable and answered, “Because you never know.”

Well, I had to write a straight news story about that answer and it was the hardest writing I have ever done.  You never know.  Only sometimes you do.  You kinda know you won’t have to have an eight story ladder to fight a two story fire.

“You never know” happens about as often as you’d suspect in Texas.  However, there are some examples of you-absolutely-do-know.

Texas Republican State Representative J M Lozano is a man of vision.  And that vision is drones.  HB 3429

As soon as practicable after the effective date of this Act, the office of the governor shall adopt the policies and procedures, establish the unmanned aircraft program, and acquire unmanned aircraft for state agency use as required by Section 490G.001, Government Code, as added by this Act.

The drones will be operated by the “Office of the Governor.”

We can’t pay for education.  We can’t pay for health care.  We can’t build or fix roads.  But, bygawd, we can let the Gov and JM have a drone to play with on the the weekends to crash-land on the roof of my house.  Fortunately, my house is only two stories so the fire chief has got that covered if we need to put out the subsequent fire.

A drone.  Somebody who can find Austin on a map and has the good sense to get there wants Texas to have drones because … you never know.

Heads up to Glen Maxey, who is forced to work with the guys.

Oh dear smiley faces.

Democratic Indiana state Rep. Justin Moed is a twit.  He just got caught sexting with – okay, I’m gonna holler – THE SAME DAMN WOMAN Anthony Weiner got caught sexting with.

TheDirty.com reported Tuesday that Moed responded to an ad Leathers posted seeking a submissive she could “financially dominate.” Texts Leathers provided to the site show a photo allegedly of Moed’s naked backside.

Wait, financial domination?  That’s a thing?

And no, I am not going to post a picture of Moed’s butt.

Good Ole Aaron Schock is flying his Republican colors again.

First there was decorating his office at taxpayer expense to look like a London brothel, then there was taking his entire staff to New York City for a first class weekend and having you foot the bill, next was that he misreported an expense as “software,” when in fact he spent it on a private plane ride to a Chicago Bears game, and now …

He took his personal photographer on a trip to India and failed to report it.

Schock appears to have improperly accepted money from an outside group to cover travel expenses for a companion on a trip to India and failed to disclose it in a possible violation of House rules, according to a National Journal review of public records.

He takes his personal photographer, who was not on his staff.

Then to score a perfect ten in cringe-worthiness, we discover that the outside group is “The Global Poverty Project, an advocacy organization that seeks to alleviate extreme poverty internationally.”

Oh the irony.  A man who doesn’t want to alleviate poverty in Chicago, takes money from a charity to travel to India to have his personal photographer take this pretty boy picture for Instagram.

Dude, pull up your socks.

Thanks to Chloe Bear for the heads up.