Archive for March, 2015

If You’re Not Busy Next Monday, Be Gay For A Day

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Dr. Steven Hotze is a long time Texas rightwing twit.  He’s also a kingmaker in Republican circles.  He’s so beloved by the Steeple People that he sells his endorsement to candidates.  I’m not kidding.

He’s also a raging homophobe.  I mean, just saying the 5 syllable word ho-mo-sex-u-al comes out of his mouth slowly, self-satisfyingly and with the aroma of expensive French perfume.

He’s calling for a big ole rally on the state capitol grounds to protect God’s vision of marriage.  Do not ask me to explain his use of the word “mirage” for gay marriage because it appears to be an inside joke – inside his head.

So get on the bus and join “hundreds” of state lawmakers to keep Texas safe for hate.

Yes, he is a medical doctor.  No, I would not go to him.

Aladamnbama

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all Alabama is for sale on Ebay.

Screen Shot 2015-03-17 at 9.43.37 AMI got you a screen shot of it just in case Ebay takes it down.  Click the little one to get the big one.

You even get a certificate of ownership!  But the best part is the part that describes your purchase.

We loved this state for many years, but now that Alabama is subverting federal law by allowing officials to refuse to perform same-sex marriages, it’s time to let her go. Frankly, 49 states is enough.

We’ve tried to trade Alabama to other countries in the world, but even Saudi Arabia and Iran thought it was, frankly, too backwoods and messed up. We even tried to deal it to ISIS, but they were worried that Alabama is too fundamentalist.

Alabama became a state on December 14th, 1819. They have made no recognizable progress since. They did try to leave the United States at one point, it was a bit of a dust-up you may have heard of. In hindsight we were probably better off just letting her go. Our bad. It’s like that crazy girlfriend you just can’t cut the ties with. We are dumping her before she boils our pet possum.

Alabama was the last state to legalize interracial marriage. Guess what year? Just guess.. Nope! It was 2000! That’s not a typo. (40 percent of Alabamans voted to keep the ban). Two. Thousand.

Their state constitution still has a provisions requiring separate schools for “white and colored children” and for poll taxes once imposed to disenfranchise blacks. It’s 2015, in case you had forgot. Two. Thousand. Fifteen.

And just 2 days ago, the Alabama KKK distributed about 6,000 fliers throughout Montgomery as well as Selma on the weekend of Bloody Sunday. Fun note, Alabama has a higher population of KKK members than any other state. So if you like white sheets, this is the state for you!!

Education – 49th out of 50. 15% of the state is illiterate. So, upon purchase, you might want to invest a little money in dictionaries.

A whopping 60% of Alabama believes in Creationism. 60%!!!! Bring a lot of bibles!

Health- Alabama ranks as the 3rd most obese state. So, there’s good food there! I hope you like fried food and diabetes!

Alabama does have a nice coastline. Keep that in mind!

Please note, there will be no refunds. You break it, you bought it. Well, it’s already broken, but no refunds.

Half of all proceeds will be donated to charities supporting marriage equality

Free shipping!

I’d buy it but I already have a backwards state.

Thanks to Kary for the heads up.

Hey, Skippy, Don’t Dare Us

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republican Texas State Representative Jason Villalba has introduced a bill making it illegal for you to film or photograph the police.  HB2918 allows the filming of police only by a television station with an FCC license or certain magazines and newspapers.

2855-1Even his fellow Republicans jumped on him like a fat lady on a milkshake.  Jason is a lawyer so you’d suspect that he has at least become vaguely familiar with the First Amendment.

So, after getting whacked about the head by both Democrats and Republicans, Jason decides that the wisest thing to do is to stand his ground.  Hey, if you’re going to be a fool, be a stubborn fool because those are the most fun.

He dares his distractors on Twitter —

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Pssst, Jason, I think that’s already being arranged.

And then he has a meltdown – right there on Twitter and starts daring everybody.

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This goes on for a few fun hours and then he sobers up, dammit, and takes them all down.

I love Republicans in the Lege.

Happy St. Pat’s Day

March 17, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The great-great grandson of Rosella Marie Givens, a beautiful Irish lass, wishes you a Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

 

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Yes, he has Rosella’s red hair.  The impish grin he got from his grandmother.

Bless His Heart.

March 16, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, I will leave Aaron Schock alone for at least the rest of the day.

 

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That’s just pathetic.

I hope he can take it home with him when he leaves DeeCee hanging his head in shame.

Oh Lookie Here

March 16, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Our local Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club has a meeting this Friday.

 

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I dunno, but I kinda suspect that the Deputy Consul General of Israel may not have a job by next Friday.

Thanks to Bill for the heads up.