This is a here-ya-go headline if I ever saw one….

Yep.  Just in time for election season, they denied all scientific speculation and conquered frontiers of ignorance to bring you a $99. beer pack with 99 beers.

It’s brewed in Austin, where we keep things weird.  The beer is named Peacemaker.  I doubt it works.

Thanks to Eileen in Austin for the heads up.

Y’all, this guy is the GOP nominee for Senate – Senate! – in Alaska.

Seriously.

Hey, if he’s not any good at congress, we can always use him to kill all the other useless old giant teevees in America.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Fortune magazine just released their list of the ten most corrupt states in America.

Yeah.

Do you see Texas on that list?  No, you do not.

Our Governor just got indicted and the Republican candidate for Attorney General, Ken Paxton, will probably get indicted before the election.

South Dakota?  Really, Fortune magazine, South Dakota over Texas?  Hell, there aren’t enough politicians in all of South Dakota to fill one decent size Republican fundraiser in a small town.  This is Texas, we got corruption on a BOGO sale.

Frankly, I’m insulted.

Let’s pretend that you’re the head of the Chevon PAC, which means you have money, money, money. So, do you buy an oil well or a congressman?

Click the little one to see the big one.

Honey, Honey, Honey, when your political contributions are called “excessive, prohibited, and impermissible,” you just might be giving a little too much.

For those of you unfamiliar with Pat Roberts, you might want to stay that way.  Go to his webpage this morning and see his top three issues:  Obamacare, Benghazi, and Ditch the EPA water rule.  He also opposes the Disclose Act, wonder of all wonders, as a “suppression of free speech.”  Obviously, his speech is not free – you gotta buy it.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up. 

Earlier this month a man left a loaded .380-caliber Ruger in the bathroom at the Egg Harbor Fun Park somedamnwhere in Wisconsin.  His name is Gerald Hitchler and he’s 76 years old.

Okay, that’s just kinda routine now and probably wouldn’t even make Fun with Guns.  They just called him to come get his gun.

A sheriff’s incident report noted the gun was loaded with seven rounds of ammunition. The serial number was traced to the owner, and the report indicated Gerald was shocked when he was called and learned they had the weapon.

You have my gun?  Never missed it.  I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!

Well, that hit a sheriff’s deputy as odd.  So after a short investigation it was discovered that …

Gerald’s wife, Susan Hitchler, also left a semiautomatic loaded handgun in a stall of the women’s restroom on March 19 at Elmbrook Church in Brookfield.

In Susan’s case, charges of endangering safety were filed but were dismissed because it happened during the women’s Bible study meeting and although girls from the adjoining school could have entered the restroom, there was no evidence that any of them did.  You know, like holes in the wall or a whole mess of blood.  Evidence that a child found your gun.

So the newspaper contacted the Hitchlers to see if they’ve become The Gun Fairies or something.

Gerald was contacted by phone and asked if he realized the gun was missing and he responded, “not really.”

He said the incident was “funny, accidental” and “not a big deal.”

“It’s like you lost a pet,” he said on Monday. “This is a very minor issue. Nothing happened. Nobody was hurt.”

Yeah, it’s exactly like you lost your pet.  If your pet is grizzly bear.

And they are coming to a church or fun park near you!  Have a nice Labor Day, ya hear?

Customer UmptyDump, who comes here all the way from Chicago, sent us something from the Chicago newspaper – someone making fun of Rick Perry putting his smug shot on a tee-shirt, by gawd.  You know, the one where Rick’s all proud, like being indicted is a gang initiation rite for the Texas Good Ole Boys Mafia.

Not so fast.

Click the little one to see the big one.

Thanks to Umpty Dump for the heads up.