Go read the comments.

Thanks to Sarah for the heads up.

Oh Rick Perry, you are the answer to my dreams.

Rick Perry’s interview in The Atlantic, where he gives a 3,000 word summery of why he wears glasses and that’s the “long story short” version, is a wealth of crap I did not want to know about anybody, much less Rick Perry.

But, the best?

He met with South Carolina’s Rep. Mick Mulvaney and his wife, Pam.  The discussion turned to “the uncomfortably stiff cowboy boots Pam is sporting, custom made from a gator she shot while in Louisiana.” Then things got weird.

Next thing you know, one of Pam’s boots is off her foot and in the governor’s hands. (Perry himself has sworn off cowboy boots in deference to his temperamental spine.) Perry flexes the sole, then sticks his face down inside the shiny black footwear and inhales deeply. “I just love the smell of new leather!” he announces happily. He pauses, looks over at me, and asks, “This is going to wind up in your piece, isn’t it? ‘He likes to sniff women’s shoes!'” The governor chuckles, then resumes his discussion with Pam about the best way to break in boots. (Short answer: You just gotta wear ’em.)

Oh, he’s just made for fun.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

I think I’ll take Tranny for $500, Alex.

Okay so there’s this group running around Texas with enough ammo to declare war on Venezuela who have found a way to live the rock band life without the bother of musical instruments.

They originated in Murietta, California, and they call themselves Operation Secure Our Border.   Mostly, though, they raise suspicions and money.

Note this headline on their website with a big DONATE NOW sign next to it:

Well, that would certainly scare the crap outta me.

‘Cept it never happened.  Bud Kennedy at the Fort Worth Star-Telegram jumped on top of it.

The moneygrubbing “border volunteers” on their way here to play soldier published a dramatic fund-raising pitch Monday about how Texas is a “war zone” and how they barely escaped cartel gunmen who supposedly surrounded the Van Horn Comfort Inn.

That didn’t ring true to folks in Van Horn.

For starters, there is no Van Horn Comfort Inn.

“If Mexican cartels had surrounded a hotel, we would have had a few phone calls,” Sheriff Oscar Carrillo said Tuesday, accusing conspiracy promoter Eric Odom and the Murrieta, Calif.-based Border Convoy group of making up the entire story.

Wait, wait, they made up a story to raise money?  What are they?  The O Henry of Gun Fetishes?

And they are pestering local law enforcement.

Carrillo confirmed that the sheriff’s office had one phone call from the convoy Monday morning about 5:30. A caller giving the name Pete Santilli reported “somebody following them,” Carrillo said, but could not give a description.

Santilli is a Utah-based online talk host and entertainer.

Dude, how do you know someone is following you if you can’t give a description?  You’re being followed by invisible stuff? Hell, even zombies can be described.

The El Paso County Judge pretty much got it right …

Last week, El Paso County Judge Veronica Escobar wrote in The New York Times that the idea of an ongoing border crime crisis is a “myth” contrived for the fall elections.

“It’s untrue and it’s hamful,” she said by phone.

“They use the same playbook over and over again, because it’s red meat for conservatives in the rest of the country. It looks real good to come down to Texas and fly helicopters or wave guns at the border. But it hurts us.”

But the Gun Fetish Tour continues along the border because it gets attention, makes money, and scares poop out of some guy in Des Moines, Iowa, that the Mexicans are coming to get him.  Helluva business.

By the way, according to their website this is how the renegade posse views themselves —

I just checked and it’s going to be 103 degrees in McAllen and Laredo today so … good luck with that heat stroke thing, guys.

Michele Bachmann appears to have a problem with numbers.  Like this.

In a conference call with the anti-immigrant group Numbers USA last week, Rep. Michele Bachmann called illegal immigration a “war against the American people” and suggested that the U.S. levy a 100 percent tax on money that immigrants send back to Mexico, Honduras, El Salvador and Guatemala in order to put pressure on those countries’ governments.

Okay, okay.  First figure out how to find out who is sending how much.  Then, find out if they are citizens.  Next, retrieve the envelope with the money and tax it by  … I dunno, putting one of those title frowny faces on it with a rubber stamp maybe?

100% tax huh?  And this puts pressure on the Central American governments … how?  I’m just totally lost.  Is this algebra or something?

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Sometimes a headline says it all —

Yes indeed, I think his head was empty.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.