Sarah Palin takes on Elizabeth Warren.  I could eat some alphabet soup and poop a better speech than Sarah.

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Salinas, Kansas, ain’t the middle of nowhere but nowhere and Salinas are in the same zip code.

They have a local newspaper and my friend Vickie was passing through and picked one up with her morning coffee.

The entertaining thing about the newspaper in Salina, Kansas, is two stories on the front page.

The first story is amusingly called “More bucks for the bang,” (See what they did there?) about how people are buying up all the ammo that they can.  Hell, according to the story, WalMart can’t keep ammo on the shelves.

And why is this happening?

“It’s a lot of fear of the current administration,” he said, referring to President Barack Obama. “That fear is what’s driving part of it.”

They still think President Obama is coming to get their guns and I suspect they want to have ammo to throw at the United Nations troops breaking in the front door after President Obama has already been there and taken their guns.

In a completely, totally and absolutely unrelated story also on the front page under the fold, and I need to remind you that this story is not in any way related to the first story, is a story headlined, “White students to no longer be majority at school.”

Did I mention that these stories are unrelated?

Thanks to Vickie for the heads up.

Andy Puzder is the CEO of Carl Jr’s.  You probably know Carl Jr’s from the hotsy totsy commercials they have on teevee to convince you that Paris Hilton and swimsuit model Hannah Ferguson only eat lusty hamburgers while wearing skimpy bathing suits and thigh-high black leather boots while sprawled out on a shiny black car.

Yeah, they want you to suspend belief about food, hoochy, and proper dinner attire.

They also want you to suspend belief about politics.

Andy Puzder’s other comedic episode is Rick Perry.  Puzder is just will about Rick Perry.

The press conference Wednesday at a Carl’s Jr. fast food restaurant in South Austin was supposed to “celebrate the restaurant’s commitment to Texas,” but it was a bit hijacked by a nationally recognized swimsuit model, the promise of a free brisket-laden new hamburger and Gov. Rick Perry.

But as Perry sat patiently on stage, Puzder also noted that the governor would represent a welcome change as the country’s next president.

So there ya go. Lusty hamburgers in bathing suits and Rick Perry — wrapped not so tightly in one rich old guy’s erotic dream.

We crashed for a little while today.  Some comments were lost.  If you don’t see yours, you might try again.

A former member of the Texas Legislature and current Republican nominee for Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Sid Miller, has himself some powerful strong feelings.  By his own admission, he does not have much knowledge but boy howdy! his feelings run deep.

Sid especially doesn’t like what’s happening on the border.  He doesn’t live there, of course.  The truth is that Sid Miller lives closer to Tulsa, Oklahoma, than he does Laredo, closer to Roswell, New Mexico, than Brownsville, and a helluva lot closer to Wichita, Missouri, than El Paso.  Lawmakers who actually live on the border aren’t worried by bygawd Sid Miller is.

So much so that he issued this statement:

“I’m not a lawyer, I don’t know what the legal definition of ‘invasion’ is … but in this cowboy’s definition, we’re being invaded.”

One of my state representative friends once told me, “Ole Sid would have to study-up to be an imbecile.”

However, Sid has an idea to solve this invasion problem.

“We should invoke Article 1, Section 10 of the United States Constitution, which talks about the federal government having the sole responsibility of securing our border, protecting our people … with one exception.  The last sentence of the Article 1, Section 10 of the Constitution says that if a state is invaded or attacked, those rights also revert to the states to take matters into their own hands.”

Now I want you to ponder for a minute about what matters you would be willing to put in Sid Miller’s hands?  Hell, this is a man who can’t operate a dictionary.

I have to tell something else pretty disgusting about Sid Miller.  He’s a cruel sumbitch.

Miller, a rancher, received a warning from the American Quarter Horse Association last year for tethering three of his horses to the back of a trailer and exercising them by driving slowly in circles, a practice many consider dangerous, The Dallas Morning News reported in December.

And …

Miller, a former Republican representative from Stephenville, offered bills in 2003 and 2007 that would have allowed the sale of horse meat for consumption in foreign countries.

And he wants to go control the “invasion” on the border?  Hell, at least Mitt Romney just put Seamus on the roof of the car.  He didn’t eat him afterwards.