I want names, dammit.

Credit Suisse AG (CSGN) agreed to pay $2.6 billion in penalties and pleaded guilty to helping Americans cheat on their taxes, making it the first global bank in a decade to admit to a crime in a U.S. courtroom.

Okay, why can’t giving me the names of Americans who cheated on their taxes be part of this plea deal?  And why the fool tarnation double damn hell isn’t somebody going to stinkin’ jail over this?

Worse yet, why is half of Congress still taking money from those crooks?  Democrats and Republicans alike should be swatted for this.  They knew Credit Suisse was being investigated and they knew a criminal enterprise was going on, but they took the damn money.

Cory Booker
Harry Reid
Jeb Hensarling – chairman of the House Financial Services Committee that oversees Credit Suisse
Steny Hoyer
Joe Crowley
John Boehner
Orrin Hatch
John Cornyn
Mitch McConnell
Mike Crapo – member of the Senate Banking Committee

Oh, and there’s plenty more.

Give the damn money back, prosecute Americans who used Credit Suisse to cheat on their taxes, and put somebody in jail.  You know, like Jeb Hensarling.

Louie Gohmert is plenty damn upset that President Obama is “luring” three year old across the border and they don’t even pay taxes!  What the hell do they think this is?  America?

Speaking about the Dream Act, where children brought here by parents can be given citizenship to the only country they’ve ever known if they meet certain criteria – like graduating high school, Gohmert is pitching a hissy fit.

“We have people saying, oh, if we just legalize everybody that is here, all of this new tax money will come flooding in,” Gohmert continued. “There can be no debate that young children who are not working, even if they are legalized, for those who make the argument, gee, look at all the tax money that the Federal coffers will be getting if we just legalize everybody here, that is a bogus argument.”

Yes, the three year old children of undocumented workers don’t have a job.  However, I have noticed that Louie’s pre-school grandchildren don’t have jobs either.  So get those little boogers to work, dammit.  There ain’t no free ride in Gohmertville.

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

Florida Republican State Rep. Charles Van Zant says the homosexuals are coming after your children and they’re doing it with Common Core.

A Florida GOP lawmaker on said in a March speech that officials hired to implement Common Core standards will turn kids gay, Think Progress reported on Monday.

“They are promoting as hard as they can, any youth that is interested in the LGBT agenda,” Van Zant said about American Institutes for Research. “These people that will now receive $220 million from the state of Florida, unless this is stopped, will promote double-mindedness in state education and attract every one of your children to become as homosexual as they possibly can.”

“As homosexual as they possibly can”?  Most homosexuals I know are as homosexual as they possibly can.  I mean, let’s not limit this stuff to mildly homosexual or even normally homosexual.  Let’s grind our teeth, grunt, and do it as hard as we possibly can!

Holy cow, I think this guy knows homosexual people a little too well, ya know?  This is kinda spooky.

And I wanna know what double-mindedness is.  I mean, single-minded has never been a compliment.  And narrow-minded, while popular in Florida and other southern locations, isn’t exactly what we’d hoped for with education.

Personally, I think VanZant is something else entirely – triple-minded:  God, Guns, and Gay.

Y’all, early voting has started in Texas in the Republican runoff election for Lieutenant Governor between David Dewhurst and Dan Patrick, both of who are jerks even by Republican standards.

So, expect the crap to hit the fan.  We’ve already seen name-calling, psychiatric records, pictures of men painted blue, and stories of beating up a reporter’s wife.  And one candidate felt the need to warn the other that this office is “not God.”  Because, dammit, it’s so hard to tell.

The bad thing about this election is that one of them has to win.

The good thing is that Madam Swami Juanita predicted this would be the nastiest race in recent Texas history, and outside the Clayton Williams making rape jokes when he ran against Ann Richards, it pretty much has lived up to expectations.

On the Democratic side, I just got the largest political mailer I have ever seen.  It’s from David Alameel, a man I proudly support.

But, I have no idea why he thought I wanted a damn poster of him.

Okay, what are you guys doing out there? My email server is sporatic today and my domain server recovered from a DNS event yesterday and was down all afternoon having this:

 We’re working to resolve an issue where a bad web server configuration was pushed out to production web servers. This is causing all web servers to be down at the moment while we work to roll this back.

I have no idea if that’s even English.

So, it’s hit or miss on my email today and might soon again be a total miss on my website if they don’t feed the hamsters.

If you’re causing all this, please stop.  It’s getting on my nerves.

Those of you following the American Spring movement in Washington, Dee Cee, will want to know that the attendance fell just a tad short of of the projected 10 to 30 million.

You know, like by 9,999,975.  But close.  Hey, in cosmic terms, that’s like a smidgeon.

Mostly, they napped.

I am told there was a lot of whittling and some pretty dandy dagnabbit contests.

Y’all we really need to find something for old white men to do.  Cussing at the guvmint isn’t taking up all their time.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.