Archive for March, 2014

Caught My Eye

March 02, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

This has been sitting on my manicure table for a while and the more I look at it, the more it bothers me.  It is a letter to the FBI from Senators Chuck Grassley, Jeff Sessions, Mike Lee, and – ta da! – Ted Cruz.

They write to the FBI whining about the indictment of Denesh D’Souza for violating federal campaign laws.  They are indignant that the FBI conducted this investigation without tell they how they did it.

So, they demand, demand, I tell you!, that FBI Director James Comey answer 12 questions about how the FBI investigates illegal campaign contributions.

The questions go something like this:  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 2.43.40 PM

and there’s —-

Screen Shot 2014-03-02 at 3.03.34 PM

Y’all, the more I read this, the surer I am that question #13 is:

What much can I cheat without getting caught?

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Fun With Guns: Killing Computers Editions

March 02, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, this one is in a police station in Chicago.

At 9:40 pm a police sergeant accidentally discharged his firearm inside the police station.

No one was injured, but officers noticed a trickle of water from the first-floor ceiling that turned into a gushing stream. The downpour ruined computers and desks, but a damage estimate wasn’t immediately available.

However, you can now take a shower in the detective division.

Thanks to UmptyDump for the heads up.

John Knocks It Out of The Park

March 02, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Remember when I told you about super pastor Robert Jeffress?

Well, John turned a thousand words into a picture.

LeslieJordan_1

 

Thank you, John!

 

Yeah, But It Sounds Like Fun To Me

March 01, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The rightwing in Arizona better pray for rain because their damn hair is on fire.

Judson Phillips is the president of Tea Party Nation in Arizona.  Bless his heart, he has the dirtiest mind of anyone I know.  His big concern about Governor Jan Brewer’s veto?  Penis cakes.

Yeah, you read that right.

Judson Phillips:  Dirty Mind

Judson Phillips: Dirty Mind

Should a devote baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitallia [sic]? Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior?

Judson contends that forcing this upon people is exactly like slavery.  Exactly.  Well, you know, except that slaves didn’t get paid and were whipped, sold, and torn apart from their families and taken places they didn’t want to go and raped at will and hung for no good reason.  Other than that – exactly like slavery.

Now I have to tell you that I have a lot of gay friends.  Not one of them would have a penis cake at their wedding.  Let’s face it, all wedding cakes are pretty gay anyway.  But, let’s pretend they do.  Why would they force someone to do that when the hetrosexual community already has that covered.  (Momma, do not click that link.)  Why would they force an rank amateur to make one when odds are pretty good that they haven’t seen an actual winkie with the lights on?

Thanks to Jay for the heads up.

 

 

Fun With Guns: Mother-shooting Epidemic

March 01, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

This time it’s Nevada.

Twenty six year old decides to show off his new gun to his father.  Proceeded to prove it works by shooting his mother.

The woman’s 26-year-old son was pulling the gun out of its holster to show his father when it went off, shooting the mother in the right thigh, according to Lt. Abel Ortiz with the Lyon County Sheriff’s Office.

The woman was transported via medical helicopter to Renown Regional Medical Center in Reno at about 3:40 p.m.

No one was taken into custody and the names of the family members have not been released.

So, if your son was planning on dropping by after the gun show, maybe this isn’t the weekend to do it.

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.