Remember what I just said about Oklahoma taking everything north of Dallas.  I spoke too soon.  They can have part of Dallas, too.  The Richardson part, which is still kinda north.

So the PTA at Richardson High School, who appear to be a real fun bunch, invited these folks to come to the school and get the kids out of class to hear a lecture on Are You Dateable?  It’s supposed to be Christian doctrine but when they speak at public schools they leave out the Christian but keep the doctrine.

Some parents checked out these guys’ website and decided, no.  Hell no.

“I am extremely troubled by the fact that Richardson High School would bring in an ‘expert’ speaker who holds the dangerous, misogynistic views that advance a rape culture such as those expressed on his website,” Clark-Soles said. “I was given no information about an unnamed speaker on an unnamed subject.”

At first the assembly was to be postponed, then students were told it would take place but be optional. It went on as scheduled.

The kids at the school, who are far cooler than their parents, began tweeting it as #lookadouche

You’ll want to read their Cool Rules.  One of my favorite ones is:

1. Men of God are wild, not domesticated. Dateable guys aren’t tamed. They don’t live by the rules of the opposite sex. They fight battles, conquer lands, and stand up for the oppressed.

They also have an R U Dateable test.

I took the test.  I failed.  Apparently miserably.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

There’s a joke around some parts that the only reason Texas doesn’t slide into the Gulf of Mexico is because Oklahoma sucks.

Well, maybe Oklahoma could suck a little harder what with all the craziness going on in North Texas lately.  They can pretty much have everything above Dallas.

A group of North Texas girls has come up with a plan.

I say girls because women would not do this to other women.

Where the hell did these girls learn about Jesus?  That’s what I want to know.  Did they go to JesusWorld in Orlando or see a Jesus H. Schwarzenegger movie?

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Let’s go to Target in Hurst, Texas, not far from the Wee Winkie Parade of last week.

Baby, Won’t You Light My Fire got a little edgy yesterday.

An employee at a North Texas Target accidentally shot himself in the hand with a gun dropped by a customer on Wednesday afternoon, police say.

Hurst Police Assistant Chief Steve Niekamp said a shopper with a concealed handgun license brought the .22 caliber revolver into the store at 1400 Precinct Line Road. As he was leaving, the small gun fell out of his pocket without his knowledge.

A store employee who found the gun thought it was a lighter and tested the trigger, shooting himself in the hand, Niekamp said.

Yes, they do make guns that look like lighters.  It’s an easy mistake and an excellent excuse to shoot your kid, too.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

I think we need a scorecard for the Republican primary.  We should give point on which candidates support the most gun un-laws.

Today Greg Abbott went down to Corpus Christi to speechify instead of doing his job in Austin.  Now understand I’m not complaining about that because Texas is far better off when Greg Abbott doesn’t do his job.

Republican candidate for governor Greg Abbott said Tuesday he supports making it legal to openly carry handguns in public…

The Texas attorney general promised that if elected he also would support allowing guns on college campuses.

I have a bet with Thelma, $10 cash money and a trip to the All You Can Eat Chili and Donut Emporium, that by mid January, all the Republican candidates will be wanting a law forcing anyone of the age of 7 to openly carry a weapon and 40 rounds of ammo in their back pocket.

And in the Texas Lt. Governor race, it’s gonna be the first one to actually shoot a kill somebody.

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Finland?  Seriously?  Finland?  Finland and Tokyo?  He knows Tokyo ain’t a country, right?

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

Mother Nature, in her infinite wisdom, put a wall to the right of Joe Barton.  You can slam head first into that wall but you are not getting through because beyond that wall lies the Kraken.

Joe Barton is the Texas congressvarmint who apologized to BP for our sand getting into their oil.  He is also the guy who stopped research into into autism because he feared it would sow that pollution was the cause.  No, seriously.  He is that freekin’ evil.  They call him Smokin’ Joe because he loves pollution.  He makes the Tea Party look like bunch of liberals at a Karl Marx birthday celebration.

Seriously, he’s proud of this picture

Okay, remember the group of wee winkie guys who protested the four women meeting for sense able gun control?  Well, the agent agent provocateur of that group, Kory Watkins, has announced that he is going to run against Joe Barton in the GOP primary because Barton is not conservative enough.

Summon the Kraken.

If you feel the need to carry a gun bigger than your arm to the grocery store, that’s a psychological problem, not a self defense one.  Plus, I hate people who prance around the grocery store pushing their cart with one arm because nine times out of ten the cart wheels aren’t on straight and they crash their wiggling cart into me.

Think of the logistics of this.  Where the hell is that rifle pointing when he kneels down to put the milk in the bottom half of the cart?  It’s either pointed at the person in front or behind him, and frankly, I’d prefer to be neither place.  Ever.  Even when he’s not armed.  This guy has creepy eyes.

And then I have another problem with this guy.  He’s claiming to be a freedom fighting Uhmerkun, and plenipotentiary of the Second Amendment but when he puts on his fanciest clothes and poses, look what he’s carrying.  A Russian made weapon.

What?  He couldn’t find a spare Iranian nuclear weapon to carry around?

The mere fact that guy with this much of an inferiority complex is walking the street concerns me.  And by concerned, I man “makes me snicker.”

I’ll keep y’all updated on this race because I ain’t missin’ one minute of it.  There’s gonna be weird stuff happening.

Oh Dear Lord Louie Gohmert (that’s his full name) has decided that President Obama is establishing a “security force” under the Affordable Healthcare Act and God only knows what they’re going to do but it couldn’t be good because, you know, there’s a black man involved.

The congressman, for his part, wondered about “the provisions in [Obamacare] for the President’s own Commissioned and non-Commissioned Officer Corps,” speculating that these officers could be deployed in non-health related emergencies. “Are they using weapons to train or are they being taught to use syringes and health care items?” he asked.

But once Oh Dear Lord Louie Gohmert gets on a roll, you have no idea where he’s gonna end up in his pinball machine of a mind.

Gohmert said that he would investigate the “secret security force” in Minnesota and Wisconsin, adding the caveat that he wouldn’t mind it if it was “something that’s going to protect the borders.”

Minnesota and Wisconsin?  Damn Canadians.  Or maybe it’s Iowa he’s scared of.  You never know.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.