Attorney General and Governor Wannabe Greg Abbott is always carrying around one of those Come and Take It flags.  He even had a contest on his Facebook page to win ten of them.  I suspect he buys them in bulk.  (Click the little one to get the big one.)

Well, I think we misunderstood what he means by using that flag.  We thought it had something to do with the battle of Gonzales during the Texas revolution.

Apparently not.  During the historic drought in Texas, Greg Abbott came and took, alright.  He came and took ground water.

With what has been described as the worst drought in recorded history punishing parts of Texas, Attorney General Greg Abbott found a way to keep watering his yard without risking fines or incurring huge monthly bills: He drilled his own well.

Now his lawn is green, and there are no pesky city watering restrictions to worry about.

I will admit he’s not the only stinkin’ rich, self-involved, narcissistic son of a motherless goat in the fancy pants neighborhood he lives in who does this.  Ben Crenshaw and Mack Brown also do it.  But, that don’t make it right.  And they’re not running for Governor.

Yes, digging these wells does impact group water resources negatively.  And yes, in Texas you do own the water under your land.  You also own all the oxygen over your land but if you got a big oxygen sucking machine and put it on your lawn, it’s gonna hurt your neighbor’s oxygen levels.  Same deal here.

Watering livestock is one thing.  Your lawn is another thing.  A whole ‘nother thing.

Gregg Abbott:  He’s gonna Come and Get Your Water.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Tomorrow Facebook will be full of people posting their “Thank you veterans” to their timeline for all their friends, and most likely few veterans to see. As a veteran, I can tell you that we really don’t want “thank you’s”. We want cash.

The reason we want cash is because we as society have decided to pay the people who are ready to give their lives for our safety and freedom near poverty levels while we pay our professional athletes, who basically play children games for our amusement, millions. We do this through our elected representatives who set military pay. And we should be ashamed.

So instead of participating in the usual “I support the troops” circle jerk to make yourself feel good about yourself, find a veteran and give them cash. If you really can’t spare any cash, give them stuff. It’s veteran’s day after all, so logically you should be giving veterans presents. At the very least, give them a hug. But make it a big hug.

For Rick Perry, shutting down the government wasn’t enough.  No, sireee.

In an interview that aired on ABC’s This Week, Perry insisted to reporter Jeff Zeleny that he “certainly enjoyed” Cruz’ 21-hour Senate speech attempting to defund the Affordable Care Act.

NOT Clark Kent

I think he especially enjoyed the Dr. Seuss part, the only thing he understood.

But Rick Perry, a man with a plan, has his solution.

“It would have been wiser for us to have laid the wood to the president — so to speak — in the sense of being able to call him out on this, let it become an issue of, ‘Mr. President, you own this,’” Perry explained.

Yeah, nobody even mention the President’s name when talking about the Affordable Care Act.  No, wait.  Maybe I have that wrong.

“Laid the wood to the president”?  Well, I suspect Rick Perry could just headbutt the president and accomplish that.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

Welcome to Arlington, Texas, where it is snuggled between Dallas and Fort Worth, trying to hide from big city ideas.

Moms Demand Action, a group of  women advocating common sense gun laws, has a couple of Texas chapters.  The one in Arlington held a meeting at the Blue Mesa Grill in a strip center right next to the Black Eyed Pea Restaurant.  And since their topic was so threatening to all that is Texas manhood, a Wee Winkie Parade commenced.

Texas men protested the meeting with their largest weapons.  (Click the little picture to get the big one.)

GUN BULLIES CRASH MOMS DEMAND ACTION MEETING IN ARLINGTON. Moms privately organized a get together at Blue Mesa Grill in Arlington today. Someone falsely said they would attend, and instead showed up with these folks in the parking lot. Moms, restaurant employees and patrons were all shocked. One patron commented to one of our oganizers,” I grew up with guns, but no one would ever do this. This is like Deliverance.”

No, Honey, not like Deliverance.  The guys in Deliverance could play the banjo.  The only thing these guys can play is stoopid.

Now let me see if I have this right.  They are the ones with guns.  They are also the ones hiding behind cars.  I’m having trouble with computation here.  If they have the guns and this is simply a protest, why are the hiding like they are fixing to ambush somedamnthing?  Are they buying into David Dewhurst’s idea that tampons are dangerous weapons liable to come at you suddenly?

Good Lord, it’s a bunch of women having a meeting.  If that scares you, let me tell you about what happens at a Tupperware Party.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up and John for the sign.

Guys,

I need a small favor from you.  It won’t cost you a dime and it only takes a couple of minutes.

The Texas Democratic Party is trying to put some non-binding referenda on the primary ballot.  We have to get 50,000 signatures before December 9th, at 5:00 pm in order to do it.

There are 19 of them.  You can vote for one or all of them.

Please give a couple of minutes and go sign the referendum you like.

I thank you.  The owners, staff, and customers of the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon thank you.  The Texas Democratic Party thanks you.  All because you’re a honey!

If you’re from a foreign state, please ask a Texan to do it for you.

Rick Perry’s constant harping that even infants should pull themselves up by the bootstraps and earn their medical care, food, and housing, has left Texas mean.

When a 12-year-old Texas boy went to eat breakfast this week at his middle school a cafeteria worker took away the meal and tossed it in the trash — all because his meal account was 30 cents short.

Jennifer Castilleja of Dickinson County said she received a call from her son’s school Wednesday morning and was told the cafeteria refused to let the boy eat unless she came in and paid the 30 cents owed.

When Castilleja told school officials she was on her way to the school to pay and asked that they let her son eat until she arrived, the school refused.

So, the cafeteria lady threw the boy’s breakfast in the garbage.  In front of his friends.  You know, because 12 year old boys aren’t self-conscious and awkward enough as it is.

I hope she gets a wart on her nose.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.