You know how Republicans are always whining that the President won’t “negotiate” with them?  And how he’s so mean to them?

Take a look at this Facebook entry from Dick Durban.

And for those of you without Facebook —

I do not know any answer to that kind of insult other than, “Oh, such Noel Coward-esque wit!”   Or, that failing, perhaps, “I know you are but what am I?”

I know their purpose is to make him the angry black man, but I swear to God in Heaven above that instead they have made me the Snickering White Woman.

Names, Durban, I want names.

UPDATE:  The White House is saying that it didn’t happen.  Hummm ….

Thanks to Nancy for the heads up.

Ted Nugent, the self-proclaimed “madman” who thought all it took was a haircut to clean up his image, has just put joy and happiness into the heart of every Texas Democrat.

This morning Texans opened their newspaper to see —

Honey, that was more welcome than a cold front in July.

Sid Miller: Transvaginal Sonogram King

Miller, who was the author of the fetal sonogram bill in the Texas Lege was defeated for re-election in the GOP primary.  And what does a defeated diehard fetal sonogram supporter do?   He runs for agriculture commissioner, of course. Rumor has it that he was going to run for Railroad Commissioner until he found out that didn’t mean he got to drive the train or blow the whistle.

Nugent calls Miller his “American blood brother.”  I suspect it’s because both of them are so anxious to get into vaginas – one way or another.

Yes, I said that and I’m putting it on a campaign poster.

And please let us not forget —

Nugent has been an outspoken and inflammatory critic of President Barack Obama, even comparing him to a nazi and asserting in 2012 that he would be “dead or in jail by this time next year” if Obama were re-elected.

So we know he doesn’t keep his promises.

I should mention here that Kinky Friedman is threatening to run for Ag Commish as a Democrat on the “Cheech and Chong” platform.  Kinky just spins the wheel for what office and what political party he runs on every year.

Thanks to Carol and Kyle for the heads up.

*Another Nut in Texas

We have so many rightwing nuts in Texas that I suspect I need to make a glossary of them for you to keep up.

In my mind, Steve Stockman is the cream of the crop.  The only reason that you don’t hear about him much is because he’s kinda a loner.  He accidentally got elected back in 1995 and the voters threw him out after one term.  Since then he’s been homeless, bankrupt, found Jesus, and got himself elected again as a reborn tea partier.

He is obsessed with impeaching President Obama.

Now he’s hired a lawyer named Bill Olson, who ain’t exactly cooking with gas.  He says Olson is looking into the possibility of impeaching President Obama because, you know, all that was lacking in previous attempts was a lawyer whose partner sells food supplements to cure cancer.

The Olson law firm is now investigating impeaching Obama.  And as popular as Republicans are with the general public right now, I suspect that President Obama is not sleeping well at night worrying about this.

So, if you happen to run into Steve, tell him to keep up the good work, except he needs to be louder!

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Kevin Swanson is preacher man.  He is not fond of Girl Scouts.  And their damn cookies.

“I’d say you ought to say no to the Girl Scout cookies,” Swanson told listeners. “I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies.”

Swanson also called the Girl Scouts of the USA  ”a wicked organization,” that doesn’t promote “godly womanhood.”

To be very honest, I do not know what godly womanhood is but I suspect it has to do with fixing Kevin Swanson’s dinner.

But, you know, for such a handsome devil, I pretty much think any free minded woman would surrender her scouting abilities to drop everything and cook for Ole Kevin.

But there is an “out” for those of you totally addicted to Girl Scout cookies.

Swanson said that if listeners continue to buy Girl Scout cookies, they should “take a big, fat, black magic marker” and “start marking out all of the references to the Girl Scouts of America on all the boxes.”

Yeah, because it’s the nakkid boxes that make you lesbian.

And you can thank the good people at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., for saving you from the wicked box labeling.  That’s just another of the cheerful free services we offer here.

Please take the time to watch this and know that the tide is turning in Texas.

This is just the first one to bail.

Kool Aid is a powerful intoxicant.  So is celebrity.

So when Sean Hannity went looking for people who have been hurt by Obamacare, he easily found three well dressed white couples eager for a chance to go national with with ignorance and fear.

They each told the horrors of Obamacare.  A researcher quickly found  that this was typical:

First I spoke with Paul Cox of Leicester, N.C.  He and his wife Michelle had lamented to Hannity that because of Obamacare, they can’t grow their construction business and they have kept their employees below a certain number of hours, so that they are part-timers.

Obamacare has no effect on businesses with 49 employees or less. But in our brief conversation on the phone, Paul revealed that he has only four employees. Why the cutback on his workforce? “Well,” he said, “I haven’t been forced to do so, it’s just that I’ve chosen to do so. I have to deal with increased costs.” What costs? And how, I asked him, is any of it due to Obamacare? There was a long pause, after which he said he’d call me back. He never did.

One couple even had an uninsurable child and was still paying $20,000 a year for health insurance.  The researcher writing the story easily discovered that they could get the same policy for $7,600 including their uninsurable child.  But, they said they are opposed to Obamacare and “that the president should have focused on tort reform as a solution to bringing down the price of healthcare.”

Hey, at least Hannity found the last person in American who thinks tort reform helps consumers.  He has that going for him.

I have a conservative acquaintance who is against anything progressive because she “knows stories.”  Food stamps?  She’s opposed to them because she has a friend whose mother’s aunt saw a lady in California buy cigarettes with food stamps.  Public education?  She’s against it because there’s a kid she knows in the fifth grade who can’t do multiplication.  Well, she doesn’t know him personally, but she’s heard about it.

You can’t argue with people whose knowledge is based on gossip, so I tried something. I made up bigger stories.  Food stamps?  I know a child who didn’t have any and he was walking down the street one day and his brains suddenly fell out all over the sidewalk and all the private school kids had to walk over them to get the class and most of them got real sick because these were malnourished brains.  So there.

She:  (skeptically) I did not heard about that.

Me:  It was in the Wall Street Journal.

She:  The Wall Street Journal?  That liberal rag?  Pluuuuzze.

See?  Kool Aid and Gossip are powerful intoxicants.

Thanks to Don A for the heads up.