Sometimes I admit to feeling very blessed.  The gods of political yummy prepare a feast for me almost daily.

And some days there’s desert.

Oh, yes, please, more whipped cream on top.

Last week Trump, who turns 67 next month, spoke in front of what’s being touted as a record crowd at the Oakland County, Michigan Republican Party Lincoln Day Dinner.

“Everybody tells me, ‘Please run for president. Please run for president.’ I would be much happier if a great and competent person came along,” Trump told attendees, according to local press reports.

So, he spent one million dollars to see if he can win.

Donald Trump has spent $1 million on “electoral research,” according to a report.

“The electoral research was commissioned. We did not spend $1 million on this research for it just to sit on my bookshelf,” Trump’s executive vice president and counsel Michael Cohen told The New York Post.

Honey, for a buck fifty, I can tell you how everybody loves you and you can be President.  That’s all you wanted to hear anyway.

We’d invite him to Texas but his ego won’t fit.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

I am indeed grateful that my soldier came home to me.

The sacrifice of those who didn’t and the families they left to grieve humbles me and makes me aware that war is never an act of God but a failure of man.

Please be safe and love each other today.

You people from foreign states need to know that there someone who creeps me out worse that Rick Perry and Ted Cruz combined.  Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott.  I have never seen him barefoot but it would not surprise me if he had cloven hooves.

He makes Dick Cheeny and rattlesnakes look cuddly.

To soften his imagine, his stylists put him on Facebook.

Here’s what he did:

It is Memorial Day.  We are honoring our war dead.  And by “we” I mean everybody but Greg Abbott, who cannot give it one day of damn rest from attacking Barack Obama.

Vote on the scandals?  Are you freekin’ kidding me?  Like this is for high school prom king?

Write it down and don’t forget it.  Do not let this man be Governor.  If Rick Perry is the frying pan, Greg Abbott is the fire.

Alex Jones has become my new favorite Republican.  He’s like Ann Coulter without the Adam’s Apple.  No less crazy but at least he owns more than one dress.

Alex Jones: NOT an intellectual snob

He believes that the government – yes, the same people be believes are inefficient and can’t even run the post office – can now make tornadoes happen.

You know, with helicopters and stuff.  And spray.  You gotta have spray.

Alex is not real sure how it works but he’s damn sure it’s happening.

I don’t know if this is a weather-weapon or not, but they can, with the right weather conditions, they can create and steer groups of tornadoes. The question is, were helicopters, cuz they use those up close, and small fixed-wing aircraft seen in and around the weather patterns.

Like if people fifty miles out of these storm systems, they see aircraft in and around the clouds, spraying and doing things. If you saw that, you’d better bet your bottom dollar that they did this. But, who knows if they did. That’s the thing, we don’t know.

And if we don’t know, then it has to be true.

Dude, did you ever notice how Wolf Blitzer is always around almost too quickly after these tornadoes happen?  Did you ever consider that he’s doing it?

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

If your lack of marksmanship skills is holding you back from the ever-expanding field of sniper attacking, a Texas company has a solution for you!

TrackingPoint, a startup based in Austin, Texas, just began selling some of the most high-tech long-range shooting rifles available in the world — they use 3D graphics, laser technology, and Wi-Fi, and allow users to live stream their exploits and post photos to social media and on personal devices.

“TrackingPoint introduces the world’s first precision guided firearm — the revolutionary new long-range shooting system that puts jet-fighter lock and launch technology in a rifle enabling anyone to hit moving targets at extended ranges,” Tracking Point’s overview video says.

The key to TrackingPoint’s firearms is that anyone — even someone who’s never picked up a rifle — could hit a moving target at distances of at least 500 yards (i.e., five football fields).

Well, I know I’ll certainly sleep better at night.

Okay, so here’s my question for Wayne LaPierre:  how’s the good guy with a gun gonna find the bad guy with a gun from 500 yards away with directionality confused until an autopsy?  Yes, it’s a physics question, Wayne.

Thanks to David and Allan for the heads up.

So this guy in Kentucky has a garden and the rabbits are playing hell with his desire for a endive salad with a bit of raspberry vinaigrette.  Maybe a little chèvre sprinkled on top and a garnish of shallots.

Anyway, so the guy goes and gets his air gun and starts mentally planning braised rabbit with mushroom sauce and a perky dry white wine.

And while I will admit that an air gun is not the most humane way to dispatch rabbits, in Kentucky a man has to do what a man has to do to bring the culinary arts into his home.

A neighbor sees what’s going on and apparently believes he is the neighborhood watch captain for the ASPCA.

Rodney Wold

That angered 64-year-old Rodney Wold, a next door neighbor. When Wold saw what his neighbor was doing, he allegedly went into his house and armed himself with an AK-47 assault rifle that was loaded with 19 rounds.

“If you want to hunt something, you can hunt men!” he allegedly said, pointing the gun at the victim.

I do not know if Mr. Wold has an NRA membership card but I do know that he has a bed because that’s where the police found his AK47 – between the box springs and mattress, the world’s safest hiding place.

He was charged with first degree wanton endangerment and second degree needing to calm the hell down.

Thanks to Lindy for the heads up.