Several years ago, I told you about West Texas Congressleech Randy Neugebauer buying a big ole honker yacht .

Randy claimed that he needed the yacht to help himself campaign, which might be plausible if there was even a ditch with water in it anywhere near his home in Abilene, Texas.  If you had a yacht in Lubbock or Abilene it would stay in perpetual dry-dock.  West Texas is dry, my friend.  They only got 1/4 inch of rain during Noah’s flood.  The catfish have fleas.

So Randy doesn’t keep his fancy pants yacht in his district where he’s convincing folks he’s just a man of the people.  He keeps it in Washington, DeeCee, where there’s more hookers.

Now, I’m gonna stop here and tell you something.  God gave Randy a pointy head.  I’m serious.  His head comes to a little pointy thing, reminding me of a Dairy Queen ice cream cone.  That doesn’t have much to do with this story, but I thought you should know why he stays off camera as much as possible.  Well, that, and he drools.  Okay, he really doesn’t drool.  I just made that up.  But, it’s flat amazing that he doesn’t.

Anyway, Randy is getting himself so damn much money being a congressdandy that he needs to defer some of his taxes.  So, he bought municipal bonds.  In Hawaii.  Here’s a PDF showing his $250,000 Maui Wowie municipal bonds.

Now, I do not know how often Randy has to go visit his bonds, but I’m betting that his campaign pays for it.

I think Randy could make some big bucks if he could market his solution to how a man dumber than a sack of hammers doesn’t drool.   Heck, he could have a jet in Paris France with that much money.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for some good Neugebauer snickerin’.

I’m gonna shoot it, then I’m gonna stab it, then I’m gonna hang it, then I’m gonna burn it, then I’m gonna bury the ashes in a tar pit, then I’m gonna poison the tar pit, then I’m gonna …

A budget bill introduced yesterday by House Republicans includes a provision to defund anti-poverty group ACORN, despite the fact that the group a) was already stripped of federal funding once; and b) has been defunct for almost three years.

In other news, Mississippi just now repealed slavery.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Okay, so when Rick Perry quit running for President, which was about 2 weeks after he started running for President, he had to give up any money that was left in his Presidential campaign account after the campaign wound down.

Far be it from Rick Perry to ever give up money.

Gov. Rick Perry’s (R-TX) campaign paid $719 for a stay at the Hilton Miami in March, two months after he dropped out. He also spent nearly $7,400 on parking, $6,400 of which was spent in Austin, TX, where he serves as governor.

Okay, I’m not questioning Rick Perry’s arithmetic or ethics, but in two months for $6,400, I can park a submarine in Austin, Texas.  Two of ‘um.  Nuclear powered ones.

Where the hell did he park?  On top of Matthew McConaughey’s bongo drums?

Additionally, the campaign spent $290,551 on travel expenses after he dropped out of the race.  Apparently, he didn’t stay at the La Quinta.

My guess?  Hiking the Appalachian Trail ain’t cheap.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

Guns, guns, guns.  We need more guns.

A New York town that began assigning an armed police officer to guard a high school in the wake of the Connecticut massacre has suspended the program after an officer accidentally discharged his pistol in a hallway while classes were in session.

Lt. James Janso of the Lloyd police department tells media outlets Officer Sean McCutcheon will be suspended while an investigation continues.

Hey, at least he didn’t shoot the maintenance man.   That’s the teachers’ job.

So, the way I figure it, we need an armed officer to protect us from the other armed officer.  Oh hell, let’s have three at each school to make it interesting.

Head on over to Daily Kos for a cut ‘n paste poster for your refrigerator door.

Get your printer ready, click here and get the magnets.

Thanks to Marge for the heads up.

People who have been having their hair done here for a while are aware of the local connection to James O’Keefe’s partner in crime Hannah Giles, the wannabe ho in the ACORN “sting.”  Long story short – her Grandmother is the local Christian Coalition Godmother with enough swing to get our congressvarmint Pete Olson to honor her granddaughter on the floor of the House of Representatives of the United States of American congress for breaking the law and wanting to be a ho.  That takes some swing, Honey.

So come to find out, Ms. Hannah, who has no visible means of support except for sending out letters asking people to give her money to fight the evil libruls, made a secret settlement with the ACORN employee she scammed.

And now James O’Keefe has done the same.   He’s paying the ACORN employee $100,000 and admitting that he was was wrong to omit that the employee did, in fact, call the police during the “sting.”

I don’t think we’ve seen the last of these two characters.  They enjoyed their fame waaay too much and let others pay the fine for them.  And if you’ve got a Super DeLux Brand Christian grandmother who is so proud that you can pass for a ho that she she has it announced in congress, then your life is cool.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.