Gregory Rodriguez,  the host of the Sportsman Channel show “A Rifleman’s Journal,” lives in Sugar Land, Texas, which is close to where I live and has more God, Guns, and Greed than any other zip code in America.  I swear it does.

I say that he lives in Sugar Land which is not technically correct.  He used to live in Sugar Land until a follow gun enthusiast in Montana found Rodriguez “visiting” his wife.

I do not know what “visiting” means, but whatever it does, it hacked off Wayne Bengston enough to kill Rodriguez, beat up his wife, take his 2 year old son to relatives’ house, then drive 25 miles and shoot himself in the head, which kinda leads you to suspect that Rodriguez wasn’t visiting to sell Bibles.

Now here’s my question:  Wayne La Pierre says the only thing that will stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.  So, where the hell was the good guy?  Is he like Batman and you have to signal him?  Or is he more like Superman and instinctively knows these things but the overproduction of kryptonite, Obama’s missing birth certificate,  and the Keystone pipeline have messed up his navigation?

I need to know where Wayne is hiding these good guys.  Too many times two guys with guns make it real difficult to sort out the good, the bad, and the innocent bystander.

Maybe we could go back to that whole black and white hat thing.  That would make cleaning up a crime scene a whole lot easier.  I’m just sayin’ …

For right now, I’m gonna bet that these were two good guys who could have settled this thing with a fist fight, a couple of black eyes, and a make-up beer over at the Mustang Lounge.  That doesn’t seem like a viable option now days, what with Wayne LaPierre around.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

Jonesboro, Texas, is a small town between Waco and the end of the earth.

There’s not much to do there since they shut down the bowling alley, but the trailer park does attract some attention.

Jamie Jeanette

A Jonesboro woman was arrested on DWI charges after police say she slammed into a mobile home then tried to leave the scene of the accident in a child’s battery-operated truck.

Jamie Jeanette Craft, 29, is also charged with public intoxication, refusal to submit, disorderly conduct, leaving the scene of an accident with property damage and driving while license canceled, suspended or revoked.

Come to find out, Jamie Jeanette was driving her Texas redneck edition 2001 Pontiac Grand Am when she slammed into the trailer, where she proceeded to scream at the owner for putting his trailer way too damn close to where she likes to drive off road.

She couldn’t get the toy car to do anything other than go in circles.   So, dressed only in a sweatshirt with no pants or shoes, she then decided to walk to her mother’s house, where police found her and held her up to blow a .217 on the drunk-o-meter, which is triple drunk.

Here’s the best part.  It was 5:30 on a Sunday afternoon.

Just for the helluva it, I check to see and discovered to my everlasting gratitude that Jamie Jeanette is not a registered voter in Texas.  So mark that down for one less vote for Rick Perry.

EDIT:  I hate to ruin a good story but it has been brought to my attention that this is Jonesboro, Arkansas, not Jonesboro, Texas.  In my weak defense, it’s plenty hard to tell the two states apart when it comes to drunk women wearing sweatshirts and nothing else.

Thanks to Gay for the heads up.

And another one hitches a ride on the handbasket to hell.

Eric Bodenweiser was the rising star in the GOP.  Rabidly anti-gay and pro family, Bodenweiser was seen as a shoe-in for the Delaware state senate.

Until he wasn’t.

Bodenweiser is facing 113 felony sex charges, including 39 counts of unlawful sexual intercourse — first-degree and 74 counts of unlawful sexual contact — second-degree. The boy who allegedly was sexually abused by Bodenweiser between Oct. 1, 1987 and Aug. 31, 1990 when he was between the ages of 10 and 13.

Bodenweiser, who touted his experience as a middle school mentor, was endorsed by Christine “I am not a witch” O’Donnell.

Woman, be a witch.  It’s gotta be a better gig than this one.

Several years ago, I told you about West Texas Congressleech Randy Neugebauer buying a big ole honker yacht .

Randy claimed that he needed the yacht to help himself campaign, which might be plausible if there was even a ditch with water in it anywhere near his home in Abilene, Texas.  If you had a yacht in Lubbock or Abilene it would stay in perpetual dry-dock.  West Texas is dry, my friend.  They only got 1/4 inch of rain during Noah’s flood.  The catfish have fleas.

So Randy doesn’t keep his fancy pants yacht in his district where he’s convincing folks he’s just a man of the people.  He keeps it in Washington, DeeCee, where there’s more hookers.

Now, I’m gonna stop here and tell you something.  God gave Randy a pointy head.  I’m serious.  His head comes to a little pointy thing, reminding me of a Dairy Queen ice cream cone.  That doesn’t have much to do with this story, but I thought you should know why he stays off camera as much as possible.  Well, that, and he drools.  Okay, he really doesn’t drool.  I just made that up.  But, it’s flat amazing that he doesn’t.

Anyway, Randy is getting himself so damn much money being a congressdandy that he needs to defer some of his taxes.  So, he bought municipal bonds.  In Hawaii.  Here’s a PDF showing his $250,000 Maui Wowie municipal bonds.

Now, I do not know how often Randy has to go visit his bonds, but I’m betting that his campaign pays for it.

I think Randy could make some big bucks if he could market his solution to how a man dumber than a sack of hammers doesn’t drool.   Heck, he could have a jet in Paris France with that much money.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for some good Neugebauer snickerin’.

I’m gonna shoot it, then I’m gonna stab it, then I’m gonna hang it, then I’m gonna burn it, then I’m gonna bury the ashes in a tar pit, then I’m gonna poison the tar pit, then I’m gonna …

A budget bill introduced yesterday by House Republicans includes a provision to defund anti-poverty group ACORN, despite the fact that the group a) was already stripped of federal funding once; and b) has been defunct for almost three years.

In other news, Mississippi just now repealed slavery.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Okay, so when Rick Perry quit running for President, which was about 2 weeks after he started running for President, he had to give up any money that was left in his Presidential campaign account after the campaign wound down.

Far be it from Rick Perry to ever give up money.

Gov. Rick Perry’s (R-TX) campaign paid $719 for a stay at the Hilton Miami in March, two months after he dropped out. He also spent nearly $7,400 on parking, $6,400 of which was spent in Austin, TX, where he serves as governor.

Okay, I’m not questioning Rick Perry’s arithmetic or ethics, but in two months for $6,400, I can park a submarine in Austin, Texas.  Two of ‘um.  Nuclear powered ones.

Where the hell did he park?  On top of Matthew McConaughey’s bongo drums?

Additionally, the campaign spent $290,551 on travel expenses after he dropped out of the race.  Apparently, he didn’t stay at the La Quinta.

My guess?  Hiking the Appalachian Trail ain’t cheap.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.