Fox News has hired Herman Cain.

It’ll be so much fun to have Herman Cain to kick around.  I suspect his show will be as entertaining as his interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.   “Libya, hummm, that’s on the map, right?”

He will be used for such in depth questions as, “Hey, Herman, black people just want free stuff from Obama, right?”  or even “Hey, Herman, do black people celebrate the 4th of July?” or “Herman, can you get us some pizza?”

Was I the only person who noticed that Herman’s nine, nine, nine sometimes sounded like nein, nein, nein?

Sarah Palin without the book learnin’.

Fox News.

While going full blast about how pre-school is just another free government program, you know, like public education, they put this on the public televise waves.  The reason President Obama wants preschool?

Steve Doocy and Stuart Varney were talking at each other and I guess neither one of them realized that Barack Obama probably is not going to be running for President in 15 years.  There was obviously something lacking in Doochy’s and Varney’s education.  Like, maybe, PRE-SCHOOL!

Okay, okay, I’ll quit bellowin’ and hollerin’.  I’m calm.  I’m calm.

I just need somebody to send a abacus over to Fox News.

Yesterday in Georgia, the United Damn States of America, a man actually did shoot himself in the foot.

A Rome man was taken to Floyd Medical Center Wednesday night after police said he accidentally shot himself in the left ankle in the parking lot of the Shannon Diner, 4525 Calhoun Road.

The gun fired when the man was reholstering it, causing a bullet to lodge in his left ankle. Based on the investigation, the gun may have discharged after the trigger got caught on the man’s clothing.

No charges are expected to be filed against the man, identified as Anthony Robinson of Rome, since he did have a gun permit.

Good aim, Dude!

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Okay, this is actually happening in North Carolina.

North Carolina Republican state Rep. Tim Moore says that women can protect themselves from a new law that makes baring female breasts illegal by simply applying duct tape to their nipples.

On Wednesday, the state House Judiciary Committee C approved House Bill 34, which makes it a Class H felony to purposefully expose “private parts” for the “purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire.”

Yeah, Buddy, and let me watch as you untape your two private parts after wearing Bermuda shorts to Yoga class.

There is, as you would suspect, a story behind this.

Almost a year ago, some women held a topless festival in Asheville.  There were almost a dozen ta-tas taking in some sunshine and letting the puppies out to play.  A dozen, I tell you.  Almost a year ago.  Hasn’t happened since.

But since outrage is far more of an aphrodisiac than ta-tas in most Republican homes, the bill even had a co-sponsor.  It was a woman representative from 100 miles away who was afraid of the dreaded ta-ta  domino theory.   Yeah, because if Asheville has a dozen bare chest one time, can Durham be far behind with maybe 14 chests a couple years from now?   Let’s make it a felony!  Let’s stop this ta-ta invasion!

The story behind the guy who came to my yoga class in Bermuda shorts is just gross so I’ll spare you that.  But, if I had a roll a duct tape ….

Thanks to Carl for the heads up and for being our regional ta-ta correspondent.

A couple months ago, I told you how some total jerks had destroyed the mural on the side of a downtown Houston building for the third time.

And Reginald Adams, the artist and a gentle soul, just keeps painting another one.

This may be my favorite one of all —

Now if that doesn’t put a smile on your face, you’re not a good person.

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