So Tom DeLay is appealing his conviction.

His theory is that he did not use actual money in committing this crime; he used a check.  The law law says you can’t laundry money.  But, he didn’t.  He used a check instead of cash so … ta da! … no crime.

Holy technicality on the back of a writ twit!  Checks aren’t money?  Well, does that mean when I write a check to the phone company they will not take actual money out of my bank account?

If checks are not money, how come the more I write, the less money I have?

Lord, what a pitiful excuse for a man.  And where does he find these lawyers and why does he give them money?  Oh wait, maybe he’s giving them checks.  Oh, I get it now.

Vickie Vogel’s gorgeous handmade quilt (and it truly is a work of art) was won with a $2,000 bid by  a retired university professor living in Illinois who wanted the quilt in memory of his wife’s long dedication to Democrat ideals.  I know, that’s so sweet.  He wrote that description himself.  When I read it, I punched Ole Bubba in the arm and said, “Get your sweet on, Bubba.”

So $2,000 is going to help Democrats in Texas.  Thank you Vickie Vogel and an amazing man in Illinois.

Okay, so Paul Ryan wants to be called Mister tonight during the debate.

What, Prissy Confused Meanie was already taken?

His ego is too big to fit in Congressman?

Okay, so the Godly pro-life Republican asks his pregnant mistress to have an abortion.  So he’s scum.  Slime.  A twit.

That’s one thing.

But, he’s also for sale.

I had lunch over at the Dairy Queen with Alfredo today.  You know what that means:  NUMBERS!

Now hang with me here because after you wade through the numbers, there’s ice cream at the end.

U.S. Representative Scott DesJarlais (TN-04) introduced yesterday H.R. 3848 the “Protecting Foods and Beverages from Government Attack Act of 2012.” This legislation would prohibit the use of federal money for advertising campaigns against any food or beverage deemed safe and lawfully marketed under the Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act.

Rep. DesJarlais released the following statement after the introduction of this important and timely legislation:

“Our top priority should be restarting the economy and creating jobs – not funding scare campaigns against perfectly safe and legal products. At a time when our nation faces high unemployment, it makes absolutely no sense that federal and city agencies would aggressively advertise against American products made by American workers.

“As a member of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, one of my chief responsibilities is to track how funds from President Obama’s Stimulus Package were spent. I was alarmed to find that $230 million in grant money was used, in many cases, to run advertisements attacking America’s soft drink companies.

So, DesJarlais, a physician, is totally freaked out that anybody would say that soft drinks aren’t exactly healthy.

You would wonder why a physician would approve of soft drinks, especially for children.

Stop wondering.  Here’s the ice cream —

If you don’t trust my clipping abilities, you can check out the ice cream here, here, and here.

Now we know who is paying for all those abortions.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen where every day is No-Twits-Allowed Day.

See, I told you that watching Republican men with their feet on fire is entertaining.  Bruce Fleming has lawyered-up.

And he also scrubbed this picture from his website:

Gee, I wonder why the one with Rick Miller was taken down but the ones with Pete Olson and Rick Perry were left?

And I wonder if he’s given back the $2,000 the Belles of Heaven Republican Women’s Club gave him?