Mr. President called Romney’s tax plan “Romney Hood,” which is Robing Hood in reverse.  That sucker has legs and a damn skateboard.

And this morning, awww … the editorial in the Tampa newspaper was not nice to their most famous tourist.

Lower taxes on the rich and higher taxes on the middle class is how a nonpartisan analysis summed up Mitt Romney’s tax plan. The study cuts through the magical thinking surrounding the presumptive Republican presidential nominee’s promise to lower taxes without adding to the budget deficit.

Thanks for the nice Welcome Romney banner, Tampa.

So, Romney wants to raise my taxes but won’t show me his.

Oh, one other thing that Bubba noticed last night.  Reince Priebus called Harry Reid a dirty liar about Romney not paying taxes, but John McCain hasn’t.  Hummmm …..

Thanks to David and Bubba for the heads-up.

Oh, y’all, Rick Santorum is going to be speaking at the Republican National Convention.

Mr. Crazypants wants one last shot at remolding America to look just like him.

Let's hope he wears his Easter outfit again

The good news is:  Oh my Lord, He Who Runs With Squirrels is going to get a chance to show voters how out of touch the GOP really is.  And there is the off-chance that he’ll go rogue and start bashing Romney again because he’s just so damn good at it.

The bad news:  This means he’s not the Veep nominee.  I really, really wanted him to be the Veep nominee.  My life would be so much easier if he was the Veep nominee.  Sarah Palin in pants.  That would be so cool.

By the way, they say that Jeb Bush is going to speak at the convention, too, because, you know, the Bush Empire needs to return to the limelight.

Things got really weird last week when Harry Reid said that someone told him that Mitt Romney didn’t pay taxes and that’s why he won’t release his taxes and then Mitt Romney said, “Prove it” like Harry Reid could just pull Romney’s tax returns out of his own ear.

That’s a whole lot like saying, “Prove I’m holding your bowl of ice cream behind my back.”  There’s only one way to prove that and it involves me, your back, and some shoving.  If you add “without looking behind my back” to that, then it involves me, your back, some cuss words, and a handy cast for your arms afterward.

So Romney, who is beginning to prove he really, really has something to hide, says ….

“Harry, who are your sources? Let’s have Harry explain who that is,” Romney said.

Now, I want to tell you something.  Back in my reporter days, I learned that if you ask someone a question like, “Did you rob that bank?” and their first response is “Who told you that?” then they did rob the bank.  Innocent peoples’ first response is, “Hell, no.”  Well, at least most of the time.  If they say, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” then my theory doesn’t work at all.

So then Romney says …

The candidate said firmly, “I have paid taxes every year, and a lot of taxes, so Harry is wrong.”

Lindsey Graham: He has "issues."

Now, the only way we know this is true is because Mitt says so.  You know, if somebody said I was on drugs, the very first thing I’d do is pee in a cup.  The second thing I’d do is sue their butt.  The third thing I’d do is kick that sued butt.  But then, I have nothing to hide and a reputation to protect.  Romney has something to hide and his reputation for being a greedy sumbitch who scams his way out of paying his taxes has not been assaulted by Reid’s claim.

Which brings us to Lindsey Graham.  I don’t like Lindsey Graham and I always will.

Lindsey Graham has decided that he’s the voice of reason in all this.  He says ….

Graham said the majority leader was “making things up” to distract from the “real issues.”

Real issues?  Romney’s dedication to his country and his financial acumen are not issues, but Barack Obama’s birth certificate is?

Well, I am certainly glad we got that cleared up.  And how lucky we are to have Lindsey Graham decide what the issues are.  I’d hate to think some South Carolina cracker was making decisions like that.  Oh, wait.

I am not an enormous fan of public bathrooms and I avoid them when I can.

However, there are times when you cannot avoid them, which is pretty much why they are there – at one time or another, everybody has to use one.  Which is probably why they are called public.

But, you know what I really hate?  I really hate being pointed to the bathrooms in an upscale restaurant and then when I arrive I cannot figure out which door to enter.  Is there some kind of contest in upscale restaurants to see which one can have the most ambiguous signs for men and women?

Look, when I head for the bathroom, I have business to take care of.  I’m not going just to check for the decor or the possible artistic content; I have something to do.  The last thing I want to do is to stand there and try to figure out if I am the cow or the bull when both of them have things hanging south.  In one restaurant, I had to figure out if I was the circle or the stick.

I do not want to play this game.  Not when I am on a mission.

So, last night I was headed into the restroom in a very nice midtown restaurant.  After a long, friendly and very delicious dinner with people I truly enjoy, the waiter pointed me, at my request, to the ladies room.  In most restaurant, the ladies room is right next to the mens room, as it was in this one.  I turn the corner and see something that resembles a Chinese word on the wall, which was really strange because this was a Salva /Tex restaurant.  All I could think was, damn, I wish I hadn’t had that Margarita and crap, I don’t read Chinese.

There I stood, in great need of business and I cannot for the life of me figure out the two symbols, but I am damn near certain that they are Korean algebra  or something.

I swear on all that is holy that I stood there for two full minutes waiting for someone else to come along and enter one of the doors and pray that it was someone wearing gender specific clothes.  As my ears were starting to leak, I closed my eyes and then focused again on the two symbols until I was at least 25% certain that one was an M and the other was an F.

Just as I make my decision, a man comes out of that door.  Now I have to ask myself, was he as confused as I am and went into the F room by mistake?

I finally decided that I am 65 years old and can play senile with the best of them.  I walked in a door, completed my task, and walked out.  There was nothing hanging on the wall, so I suspect I picked correctly.

But, if I ever end up in jail for puddling outside a bathroom door,  make sure the headline says, “What Is Wrong With Putting MEN and WOMEN on Bathroom Doors?”

Romney’s great European blunderwander did not include a stop in Italy.

And I, as one who loves art and wine and looking a nakkid statues, wondered why.  I thought maybe it was an aversion to pasta or olives, but come to find out, there was another reason.

Mitt Romney skipped Italy on his swing through Europe. That was probably prudent.

That’s because Bain Capital, under Romney as chief executive officer, made about $1 billion in a leveraged buyout 12 years ago that remains controversial in Italy to this day.

…

Bain funneled profits through subsidiaries in Luxembourg, a common corporate strategy for avoiding income taxes in other European countries, according to documents reviewed by Bloomberg News.

…

In Italy, the deals have spurred at least three books, separate legal and regulatory probes and newspaper columns alleging investors made a fortune at the expense of Italian taxpayers.

Well, and it’s hard not to laugh at the Pope’s funny hat.

Look, I am certain that Romney would greeted as warmly in Italy as he was in Poland.   However, you’d think that Romney would do well in Italy, you know, what with that whole fascism thing they have in common.

Mitt, Darlin’, if you cannot stand up to the crazy crap coming out of Donald Trump’s mouth, then maybe Leader of the Free World ain’t exactly your calling.

Donald Trump said Monday that the GOP wants him to have a role at the Republican National Convention.

“I know they want me to,” Trump said on “Fox & Friends” when asked if he planned on speaking at the convention in Tampa. “I’ll see what happens.”

Seriously?  We have Bill Clinton, Julián Castro, and Michelle Obama.  They have Donald Trump.