Folks in Texas say that Fort Bend County, where I live, has to be the first suburban county to flip Democratic for the state of Texas to flip.

In 2008, Barack Obama got 49% of the vote here, and over the past 4 years the demographics of my county continue to shift Democratic.  We have a slate of excellent candidates locally.  We may be electing the first African American sheriff since Reconstruction and we also may be electing the first female District Court Judge in the entire history of the county.  All of our judges are currently old white Republican men.

I belong to a group of good folks in the county called Silver Democrats.  It’s Democrats over the age of 55.  They are block walking every week and knocking on doors, reminding people that this election is important.

They need $500 to buy 1,500 plastic bags like the one over yonder to put on  doors with campaign literature in it.  They want to print OBAMA ’12 in large blue letters at the bottom.  People will toss aside a door hanger, but they will look inside this bag and keep it.

I’m asking for help, but I’m willing to do my part.

There is a reward that goes with your generous donation.  Yes, a reward besides feeling really, really good about yourself.

For a $5 donation, Bubba and I will send you a postcard from the Democratic National Convention with Obama’s picture on it.  We originally ordered them to thank our friends who voted for us to be delegates, but we don’t have as many friends as we thought we did, so we have some left over.  We will mail them from Charlotte, North Carolina, during the convention.  That is one cool memento.

For a $25 donation, you will get a postcard and an Obama  yardsign planted in this county with your name at the bottom.  The Obama campaign will spend no money in Texas so there will be no yard signs.  We will give a Fort Bend County Democrat an Obama yard sign just to hack-off Rick Perry and the Republicans around here.  We will put whatever you want at the bottom of the sign – keep it clean, Momma inspects the signs, too –  with a marker, take a picture of the Democrat who got your sign and email the picture to you.  You will have the daily joy of knowing that your yard sign is hacking off a Republican in Texas.  If a Republican steals it, we will replace it.  That’s just how much we enjoy hacking off Republicans.  Rev. Thomas has volunteered to tell God about that lousy thief, too.

For a $50 donation, you get all of the above and a genuine a Obama fundraising swag something or other.  Yes, we know.  Every other political fundraiser only promises you good government.  With us, you get good government and cool stuff.  You will get an Obama baseball cap if we have one in stock.  If we’ve sold out, we’ll replace it with something equally as cool.  Marsha is in charge of cool stuff and she’s generous.

For a $100 donation, we will come to your house and clean the tops of your ceiling fans.  Okay, so we won’t, but that’s how we will feel.  You’ll get all of the above and a hand written thank you note from Miss Bev who is 85 years old, voted for President Roosevelt and does all our proper correspondence.

Here How To Do It.

First, click here and make your donation.  If you don’t do business online, you can mail a check (or cash if you’re feeling lucky) to Silver Democrats, PO Box 785, Richmond, Texas 77406

Then, go to my Tell Juanita page and send me your name, address, and email address.  That will start the ball rolling to making you a beloved character in my hometown.

Once again, here’s the bags we want to buy.  We will have “OBAMA ’12” put at the bottom in BIG letters.

If we get more than $500, we’ll donate bags to the Young Democrats here.  They are not as peppy as we are but they generally behave better.

If we get less than $500, I’m going to blame you.

UPDATE:  We’ve hit over $1,000 in just a few hours.  That means the Young Democrats get bags, too.  Now we’re working on getting some for the Texas Demcoratic Women here.  I have the coolest customers on the block!

So apparently Rick Perry pried the duct tape off his mouth put there by his fellow Republicans two months ago.

He’s back and he has opinions.

The announcement of Mitt Romney’s running mate won’t do much to change the dynamics of the presidential race, Texas Gov. Rick Perry said Thursday.

Ya think?  Let’s look at it this way – Romney has no good choices but that’s not going to matter?  You’re just hoping people will cease to notice that somedamnfool would be leader of the free world if Romney is elected and then poops out?  Yeah, well, that worked real well for John McCain, Honey.

But, Rick and I agree about one thing.

“There are great and talented people out there, but vice presidential candidates are interesting choices that will probably only make two or three days worth of news, unless they make some huge gaffe,” Perry told CNN in an interview at the Republican Governors Association retreat in Aspen, Colorado. “As long as it’s not me, I’ll be cool.”

Because nobody has a handle on Huge Gaffe quite like Rick Perry does.

Thanks to David and Warner for the heads up.

We have this guy in Texas running as a Republican for the United States named Ted Cruz.

He’s nuts.  Literally.  While he calls himself a Tea Party person and loves all over Sarah Palin, he is bought and paid for by the Koch brothers and big business.  As Wayne Slater at the Dallas Morning News said …

So, the thwack of tea party power might seem like rage against the machine, but its funding has the weathered, wood-paneled feel of a board room.

Two PACs affiliated with Bush adviser Karl Rove have been active rallying conservative voters to the cause of lower taxes and less regulation. In the Texas Senate race, the Koch-affiliated Club for Growth and FreedomWorks raised millions from the titans of industry, investment, manufacturing and finance.

He’s a complete tool.  We might as well call him screwdriver because he is.

And he’s also unbalanced.

“I am perfectly happy to compromise and work with anybody,” Cruz said. “Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians. I’ll work with Martians. If — and the if is critical — they’re willing to cut spending and reduce the debt.”

Remember when George Dubya wanted to go to Mars?  Well, apparently Ted Cruz remembers , too.

Thanks to David and Gene for the heads-up.

If you are a congressvarmint and you get arrested trying to set up a sparkin’ tryst in a bathroom in the Minneapolis airport, you can use your campaign funds to hire a lawyer because you were on “official business.”

Seriously.

Former Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) “has asked a judge to dismiss a lawsuit brought by the Federal Election Commission for using campaign funds to pay for his legal defense, arguing that he was on official travel when he was arrested in a sex-sting operation,” the Idaho Statesman reports.

Dude, I know it is the official business of Republicans in Congress to screw us, but generally not one at a time.

Thanks to David for the heads up.

The Missile Defense Staff of the United States has recently been warned not to spend so much time surfing internet porn.

Director James wrote that in recent months, employees of the agency were discovered to be “engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network.”

“Specifically,” he said, “there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images.”

Uh, has Director James noticed where these folks work?

And he wonders why hoochy-koochy is on their minds all the time?

Thelma says she believes that we need one of those things at the Beauty Salon.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.