I am certain that all of you have a crazy uncle by marriage who emails you all this Obama is a Muslim crap forwarded a hundred times from his crazy old friends who sit around the retirement village hating that … well, you know …

I just delete them all because like Aunt Bessy’s emails that say vinegar cures cancer but the medical profession doesn’t want you to know that because then the doctors would all be out of jobs  and that car dashboards cause cancer but the car industry makes a mint off the dashboards so they won’t tell you because …. whoa, wait, maybe it’s the other way around.  Maybe vinegar causes cancer and car dashboards cure it, I can’t remember.

Well, just as crazy are these anti-Obama emails.  I’ll share today’s because it cracked me up.

Here’s a picture of the written part.  Click the little one to get the big one and then come back here.

This is followed by this picture.

And just to remind you why this email has to be absolutely dead solid perfect true, under the picture it says BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

Yeah, like that big.

And it’s followed with pictures of both Bushes, Reagan, and even Clinton in the oval office with the flag behind them.

So, there’s photographic evidence that Barack HUSSEIN Obama has turned the oval office into a mosque.  What more do you need to know?

Well, maybe something that you might want to know is that the picture was, of course, not taken in the oval office, but in the East Room during the Gulf Oil Spill press conference.  You cannot have a press conference in the oval office because it’s little.

And the draperies?  Selected by Barbara Bush and Nancy Reagan, two very well-known Muslims.

Mrs. Bush installed new curtains, following the Kennedy fabric but with deeper swagged valances than those selected by Mrs. Reagan in 1982. Hers were the second curtains to follow the Kennedy fabric for the East Room.

And they are not Arabic symbols, but of doves and olive branches.  You know, really seditious stuff.

Now, it took me all of two minutes to discover all this.

The sad part is that people believe this crap and can’t understand why we can’t see all this conspiracy stuff like they do.  They can’t be insane so they just think we’re blind.

And somewhere in a small, dark room, some Karl Rove in training is pumping out this crap every day, all day, and feeding to crazy ole Uncle Leo to forward to everybody in the whole family.

So, if you get one of these emails from Uncle Leo, tell him I said it’s time for his medication.

Come to find out there is $21 trillion in assets that has been lost to global tax havens.  Yeah, Trillion.  Dollars.

And it could be as much as $32 trillion, more than the entire United States economy.  Do you know what comes after a Trillion?  A Gazillion, that’s what.  And you know what comes after that?  Mitt Romney’s bank balance, that’s what.

And this money doesn’t trickle down or create jobs or promoted the general welfare or get you any closer to seeing Mitt Romney’s tax returns.

I need you to trust me on this:  “You people” have not been given all you need to know.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads-up and the snide comment about only one trillion of it being Romney’s.

Louie Gohmert says we took his comments about the Superiority of Super DeLux Brand Christians out of context.

Exactly what context does one blame a shooting on “ongoing attacks on Judeo-Christian beliefs”?  Is there a context for that meaning the exact opposite?  Or maybe, “Oh, I really mean was that ‘eggplants are a great source of Vitamin C?'”

But, Louie came real close to apologizing.  He pretty much says he wasn’t prepared for an interview on this subject because his radio interview had been scheduled long before the shooting.  I think that means that it takes  Louie quite a while to come up with something sane to say.

Here’s as close as he could come to apologizing —

Such devastation fills our hearts with sympathy making us want to hug our family and that should have been the extent of my comments.

And later —

I am very sorry if my comments caused heartache to anyone in Colorado.

Not Texas, not America, not Earth – just Colorado.

And, Louie, how about your outrageous comments in that same interview about military suicides only being done by the 2% of atheist in the military?  Do you think that causes heartache to families?  I guess not.

David says Louie had some hot sauce on his crow.

Thanks to David for the heads-up.

Canada, home of socialized medicine and gun control is doing okay.

On July 1, Canada Day, Canadians awoke to a startling, if pleasant, piece of news: For the first time in recent history, the average Canadian is richer than the average American.

According to data from Environics Analytics WealthScapes published in the Globe and Mail, the net worth of the average Canadian household in 2011 was $363,202, while the average American household’s net worth was $319,970.

And that’s what happens when Republicans are more interested in killing the President’s Jobs Bill and stomping the Affordable Care Act back into insurance boondoggle land.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

So, here’s the deal.  Remember how congress got all up on their high horse and enacted laws that said members of congress couldn’t benefit from insider trading information they may get while serving the damn country?

Not so fast, oh yee of faith.

The STOCK Act requires that any trades of $1,000 or more made on or after July 3 have to be reported to the House and Senate within 45 days. But the House and Senate have two completely different interpretations of that rule.

In the Senate, the Ethics Committee released one page of guidelines last month ruling that members and their spouses and dependent children all have to file reports after they make stock or securities trades. But the House Ethics Committee disagreed.

Its 14-page memo notifies House members and aides covered by the law that their spouses and children aren’t covered. The Office of Government Ethics, which oversees all federal executive branch employees, sided with the House, informing its employees that their spouses and children don’t need to file these periodic reports.

So, if you’re in Congress and your underage child makes a killing on the stock market because you talk in your sleep, or at the dinner table, or in the family swimming pool or yacht, that’s just one of the few perks of having a member of congress as your parent.

Kinda puts a whole new spin on that E-Trade talking baby commercial, huh?   Slogan?  “When my congressman dad talks, only the family gets to listen.”

Thanks to Cheryl for the heads up.

Well, the Republicans are hitting town in Tampa, Florida.  And the first people to get ready for them?

Strippers.

Strip clubs may not be the most politically correct venue for those attending the Republican National Convention, but that doesn’t mean Tampa’s well-known adult hot spots won’t be ready for the influx of visitors.

One place is bringing in a stripper who looks like former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. There are major renovations taking place. And some nude clubs have already been giving potential customers a taste of the talent online.

“Not only can you see the dancers on the stage and in the dressing room, you can also talk to them in an online chat room,” said Don Kleinhans, owner of the 2001 Odyssey on North Dale Mabry Highway.

It’s good to know that the working bubble dancin’ ladies in their birthday suits will take Republican money and vote Democratic.

Thanks to Deb for the heads-up.