Republicans in Missouri have found a new group to pick on – the blind.

Blind people who are not married to a sighted person and make above $9,495 a year – so they don’t qualify for Medicaid – but who have less than $20,000 in assets and still fall below poverty level, get aid from something called Supplemental Aid to the Blind.

“Well, they are NOT getting one more damn penny of my money,” commented Missouri Republican Thurston Howell. “After all, they already have dogs and a white cane.  What more do they want?”

Using Stevie Wonder as an example, Howell suggested all the blind in Missouri take piano lessons and earn their own way.  “I mean, it’s not like they can be golfers or professional baseball players,” Howell admitted, “but there’s other things they can do to get rich.  You know, like play the piano and … hummm … I guess being dentists is out, but there’s other things, like  … hummm, well, no, they couldn’t be bus drivers, I guess,” he chortled.  “But, I sure there are other things.  I mean, look at me and I made $100 million last year.  Blind people should be able to make at least $50 million.”

Next week the Missouri legislature will consider a money -savings bill to take candy away from babies.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads-up.

Howdy, Republican candidates!

Y’all, things could not be much better.  The Texas Republican Party has invited the Four Horsemen of Annoyance to Texas to debate.  Only three of them have accepted so far – Newt, Paul, and Santorum.  Hell, Honey, Newt would accept an invitation to debate at the Minneapolis airport bathroom from Larry Craig.  Ron Paul lives here anyway so he could walk over and Santorum heard that the Pope was in Mexico wearing a sombrero and a very cool papal sweater vest.

Romney hasn’t decided if he’ll attend.  He’s pretty busy.  After all, his money doesn’t count itself, you know.

But, Republican State Party Chair, Steve Munisteri, has a solution:

He said he will urge the executive committee meeting this weekend to pass a resolution urging Romney to participate in a debate.

Yes, a strongly worded resolution from the folks who think Rick Perry is a real smart guy. I imagine some of the perspicacious language in the resolution will be: chicken, cluck, cluck, cluck, chicken. If that won’t make you jump, your mainspring is unwound.

Republican seating at the event will be handled like they do at a wedding:   Rich Greedy Oilmen on the right, Evangelical Rednecks on the left.  If you want to sit in the middle, you’re not a Republican.  Go home.

This could be fun, y’all.