Santorum’s withdrawal is also a major milestone for God, the beloved all-powerful deity whose personal endorsement somehow failed to secure the nomination for any of the numerous Republicans — Santorum, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Perry — whom he reportedly encouraged to run for president.
So God is 0 for 4.
Just sayin’ …
I liked America so much better before Christianity was a political party.
You know, whoever says that the government closest to the people is the best has never been to a school board meeting. And whoever supports states’ rights doesn’t live in Texas.
Texas cut all state funding to Planned Parenthood for women’s health. They only paid 10% of it but they cut that so that they could lose 90% they got from the feds.
You know how Republicans all believe that you should be able to chose your own doctor? Well, except for women who are far too delicate and stupid to make those difficult decisions so Rick Perry and the Texas Republican Lege stepped up to do it for them, by gawd, because that’s just the kind of white male jerks they are.
Next, the 90% of funding that our Medicaid program gets comes from the feds. They announced that Texas ran afoul of a federal law requiring that Medicaid recipients be able to choose care from any qualified provider willing to provide a service.
And even though Texas freely admits that Planned Parenthood was the most cost effective program to provide health services to women on Medicaid, they turned down 90% funding to punish Planned Parenthood because 2% of their budget goes to abortion services, and that 2% is provided by private donors. This means that at least 50,000 Texas women will go without health services.
Now Planned Parenthood is suing Texas.
I am perfectly delighted that Planned Parenthood is standing up for women’s health. It is way past time that someone stand up to the Republican bullies who think Texas is a theocracy and women are second class citizens.
I tried to be funny about this but when Texas women will die needlessly from breast cancer and cancer of the uterus because of somebody’s damn religion, it’s time to be an angry white female.
Stand with Planned Parenthood. It’s your mother, your sister, your wife and your daughter. Do not toss away their lives to make a political point.
Allen West.
I know I’ve said enough in the opening paragraph to make my point, but there’s more.
I think I’ve come to believe in this whole reincarnation thingy. Guess who came back as a black man in Florida?
West warned constituents at a Tuesday town hall event that he’s “heard” that dozens of his Democratic colleagues in the House are members of the Communist Party, the Palm Beach Post reported. West wouldn’t elaborate beyond that, however, and didn’t offer up any names.
Okay, so half of the House Democrats are members of the Communist Party. I wonder when and where they hold their meetings? Hell, Honey, there’s not 80 Communists left in Russia. There’s only half a dozen or so in Cuba. Maybe more; it depends on whether Fidel died this morning or not. Judging from his past, probably not.
You know that you have really run out of outrageous things to say when all you have left is gibberish. Gibberish with twaddle on top. And claptrap on the side.
Now for the fun part. This is the guy who Sarah Palin thinks should be Vice President. And, while I admit that he’s more qualified and sane than she is, Joe Biden has 100 IQ points and mental health on him.
No, no, wait. There’s more….
During the same event, which took place at Florida Atlantic University, the freshman Republican said President Barack Obama wouldn’t have a public debate with him over their policy differences because he was “scared.”
Well, I should hope so. I’m scared of Allen West, too. There’s no telling when the guy is gonna all Colonel Walter E. Kurtz on us and run around chasing invisible rabbits with a Bowie knife and a lasso, while wearing a pink flamingo shirt and flip flops. That stuff scares the dickens outta me. And I will sleep better at night knowing my President shares my concerns.
Science is your friend. Unless, of course, you’re a Republican.
I think maybe we’re beginning to understand why Republicans hate science. Apparently, the feeling is mutual.
University of Arkansas psychologist Dr. Scott Eidelman has just concluded a study. In it he found that conservatives employ something called “low-effort” in their thinking mechanisms.
In the first part of the study, they went into bars and asked people questions about social issues.
As it turned out, the political viewpoints of patrons with high blood alcohol levels were more likely to be conservative than were those of patrons whose blood alcohol levels were low.
Well, that’s not news to people who have been in bars in the south. The more you drink, the dumber you get. Plus, you’re not liable to find many PhD’s in bars in the south. I mean, these are people who think Hank Williams Jr is some kind of genius.
But, they took it one step further. It worked on sober people, too.
But it wasn’t just the alcohol talking, according to the statement. When the researchers conducted similar interviews in the lab, they found that people who were asked to evaluate political ideas quickly or while distracted were more likely to express conservative viewpoints.
“Keeping people from thinking too much…or just asking them to deliberate or consider information in a cursory manner can impact people’s political attitudes, and in a way that consistently promotes political conservatism,” Dr. Eidelman said.
So, here’s my idea. Since Republicans are pushing hard for Voter ID, let’s push back for Voter IQ.
Thanks to about 30 people for sending me the heads-up on this one. They know how I love to shoot fish in a barrel.
You know, my life has become so much sadder with perfectly charming people dropping out of the Republican Presidential run.
Thank goodness, they may drop out but they won’t shuddup.
Herman Cain is now claiming that men support Mitt Romney because they are better informed than women.
Or maybe versa vice.
Cain explains why President Obama leads Governor Romney by 19 percentage points among women.
CAIN: Yes, President Obama is very likable to most people, if you just look at him and his family. But if you look at his policies, which is what most people disagree with, it’s a different story. And I think many men are much more familiar with the failed policies than a lot of other people, as well as the general public.
Let me walk daintily and ladylike through this one: “men are much more familiar with the failed policies than a lot of other people.” What the holy pepperoni on a thin crust are you talking about, Herman? There’s “men” and then there’s “other people.”
Dude, no wonder you cheated on your wife. When the minister asked “Do you take this woman?” you figured he meant all the other people.
So now when they ask me my sex on an official form, I can officially answer, “Other.”
And Republicans wonder why women don’t like them. They really do sit around wondering about that. You think we ought to tell them or let them ponder on it until November?
Y’all, Newt Gingrich wants to be on the ballot in Utah. There is a problem. A $500 problem.
Five Republicans have filed the necessary papers and $500 fee to qualify for the June 26 Utah presidential primary election, but with Rick Santorum dropping out of the race Tuesday, only four will be on the ballot.
Or possibly three.
Newt Gingrich’s check bounced.
Honey, it was hotter than a five dollar pistol on Saturday night.
If you’re wondering what happened to all that money Newt raised, the answer is obvious – he ate it.
One part of his campaign is in bankruptcy and the other part is writing hot checks. But, yeah, we trust him with the economy. Like we also trust him with our sisters.
Thanks to danged near everybody who sent me this because they knew I would just love it. I do.