Franklin, I am totally convinced that you are making little baby Jesus cry.

Tell me, Franklin, am I a Christian?  Is Thelma?  How about Junior and BubbaX, are they Christians?  Since you know our hearts as well as you know Rick Santorum’s or anyone elses, surely you have an answer for us.  We’re waiting.

I have no idea why you think that if you smile all the damn time, you can say hateful things about the souls of other men in a voice that you indicate is the voice of God on earth.  Sweet Jesus cried, got angry, and even called out in desperation.  Sweet Jesus understands out frailties and our hearts.  You, Franklin, do not.

Sweet Jesus had plenty to say about poverty, war, greed, and haughtiness, which, of course, are the four planks of the GOP platform.  Why don’t you talk about that for a while?

Look, I know I have backsliding blisters on my butt, but these Super DeLux brand Christians are really starting to get my goat.

Today is National Margarita Day.

Honest to goodness.

See y’all later.

Juanita’s Margarita Mix

5 parts fresh-squeezed lime juice
3 parts tequila
1 part cointreau / triple-sec

Mix well and serve over ice with salt

Do not, for any reason whatsoever, drink a frozen Margarita unless you make it yourself with fresh ingredients.  The ones you get at a restaurant are made with a pre-packaged mix and are crap in a pretty glass.

By the way, December 20th is National Sangria Day.  I might have to post my homemade Sangria recipe before then because aren’t we all supposed to die on December 22nd?  Heck, after you drink my homemade Sangria, you won’t even care.

Y’all have heard me talking about Rick Miller before.  He’s a thug.  He likes to watch while old ladies get beat up.  Total thug.  I carry around 11 foot poles with me because I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot one and that’s one of the nicest things I say about him.  He was chairman of the local Republican Party until recently when he resigned to run for Tom DeLay’s old seat in the State Lege.

I’ve heard he’s campaigning with the slogan “Rick Miller:  Tom DeLay With Fewer Ethics and More Bible Thumping!”

When I see Rick in public, I duck and cover and holler as loud as I can, “Don’t hit me!  Please don’t hit me.”  It drives him nutty, so when he sees me coming, he makes himself real temporary wherever he is.

Well, I decided to follow him on Twitter because I thought it would be dandy fun to watch this old mean man try to be young and hip.

That, my friends, was a safe bet.

Yesterday, I got a “private tweet” from Rick Miller.

(You can click the little one to get the big one.)

Okay, see, I knew right off the bat that this was not legitimate.  Mainly because if nasty things were being said about me, Rick Miller would be the one saying them.  And he ain’t near brave enough to say them to my face.  And Lord knows he wouldn’t be surprised.

His Twitter account was hacked.  Kinda fitting because he’s certainly a hack.

I’m not saying that one of his fellow Republicans with a knife in their back did it, but …. oh hell, who am I kidding?  That’s exactly what I’m saying.

Local Republicans:  more fun than the Friday night fights!

I went to see the gracious, charming, and completely captivating Speaker Nancy Pelosi at the Daddy Bush Presidential Library last night.  She, of course, was wonderful and even took tough questions with wisdom and grace.

She was so perfectly delightful that even the grumpy old people sitting in front of us, who began by rolling their eyes at each other at every word Speaker Pelosi said, finished the evening by joining in the standing ovation.

I’m sorry I didn’t take my real camera, but you can almost see her at the podium in the picture my camera phone took.  It was a great evening spent with wonderful friends.

I wish I could say the same for some Aggies.

The newspapers had warned that the Aggies were planning a demonstration against Pelosi being on their campus.   Honey, bigger demonstrations have been held in bathroom stalls.

You can click that picture and get a better one.

Okay, I understand that they are Aggies, but I don’t think they got the irony of protesting big government while standing at a government institution and attending a state supported school.

Secondly, and this is cruelly ironic, one of them was holding a sign against Speaker Pelosi raising taxes.  Honey, this is the George HW “Read My Lips” Bush Library.  Who raised taxes? It was sad.  President Bush was there.  He’s an old man and surely felt that you were mocking him.

Since some of them were wearing costumes, I am hoping they are theater majors and not political science majors.  Or any kind of science majors, for that matter.

Rick Santorum called President Obama’s religion, “Some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology.”  President Obama is a Christian.

Hummmm… Brother Santorum, perhaps there’s some passages missing from your Bible.  Let me see if I can help you with a few.

The first I’d like to point out comes from Proverbs and it was a commandment to leaders.  Check Proverbs 31:8 and 9.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,for the rights of all who are destitute.

Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy.

How about Deuteronomy 15:11, Rick?

For the poor shall never cease out of the land: therefore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land.

I can also give you words from Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, but let’s just pick one for now.  Luke 3:11

And [John the Baptist] would answer and say to them, “Let the man with two tunics share with him who has none, and let him who has food do likewise.”

And there’s also Romans 21:12, speaking about judging others.

Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.

But, I think the most important one you need to read, Brother Santorum is Proverbs 9:11 –

An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.

Brother Santorum, say what you will about President Obama’s politics and you will only have the people of America to answer to.  But when you start messing with his religious beliefs, you have done hacked-off the wrong God.

Click the little one to get the big one.

Thanks to Vicki for the heads up.