I love Fox News charts, especially this one.

Customer Brian sent us another one:

Okay, notice that the drop between October and November is the largest change but the line stays the same.  The 8.6% is the lowest number but the chart shows that it’s the same as 9.0%.

Personally, I’m wondering how that chart would look if the title was “Unemployment Rate Under The Republican Controlled Congress.”

And Fox News viewers are surprised that they are dumb as fried dirt.

Newt Gingrich does not lie.  We know that because Newt Gingrich says the the Clinton impeachment was not about sex, but about perjury.  Surely a man so set on punishing perjury would not hisownself be a  liar.

Oops.

Newt Gingrich claims that it was his first wife, not Gingrich himself, who wanted their divorce in 1980, but court documents obtained by CNN appear to show otherwise.

Newt claims that his first wife was the one who wanted a divorce, not him.  He even says that on his website.  From the case documents, it’s obvious that’s not true.

Now, I understand that Newt has been divorced so many times that it’s hard to keep them all straight.  But, it appears that both his previous wives were surprised that he wanted a divorce.  And, personally, I think that’s why he married Calista – bless her heart, her face has been botoxed into a perpetual state of surprise.  That way, Newt won’t know her reaction when it’s her turn.

That last thing is just a guess on my part.  I don’t know that for sure.

Thanks to Brian for the heads-up.

Sometimes Rick Perry’s ego is bigger than his brain.  Okay, not sometime, pretty much all the time.

When he started this “Any Ole Boy Down At the Icehouse Can Be President World Tour” thing, he said of the tax dollars he was spending for security —

“I’m going to be promoting Texas,” Perry said in July, as he began to traverse the country. “I’m going to be traveling to places where the Texas story needs to be told, and we will tell it.”

Democratic State Representative Jessica Farrar, who is one of my favorite people for many reasons, one of them being her uncanny ability to see the obvious, replied that Perry’s travels have been more of a black eye for Texas than a benefit. She said the governor deserves to have state-provided security but said he should use some of the $17 million he has reported raising for his campaign to help defray the costs.

“If he’s promoting Texas, he’s been an embarrassment,” Farrar said. “He could have paid for this out of campaign funds, especially given that he’s asked the Texas taxpayers to tighten their belts. “

From September to mid-December of this year, Perry’s out of state security has cost Texas taxpayers more than $1.4 million.  We’re firing teachers and have a shortage of cops.

I guess I’m saying that Rick Perry needs more of those teachers and fewer of those cops.

Since he started running for President, Americans now have to look at the actual statistics to see that Mississippi is dumber than Texas.  You cannot tell that by listening to our Governor.

Rick, come home where we are perfectly willing to spend $10,000 a month to hide you out in a gated community away from the spotlight or the Governor’s mansion.

Juanita Jean, Thelma, BubbaX, Verdelia, Dirt, and the entire staff of the World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. wish you a Merry Christmas.

And Bubba and I wish you  —

The Peace that Passes All Understanding.

.

I’m stepping away from the keyboard for a couple of days because my entire family will be here and I love them  all.

Now he can’t count

(CNN) – Texas Gov. Rick Perry will not appear on the Virginia primary ballot after submitting a petition that didn’t meet the commonwealth’s requirements, the Virginia Republican Party announced Friday.

In an announcement on their Twitter feed, the Virginia GOP wrote, “After verification, RPV has determined that Rick Perry did not submit the required 10k signatures and has not qualified for the VA primary.”

Santa needs to bring him some signatures, huh?

If God truly did tell him to run, God is a prankster.

Sharon predicts that this story about Rick Perry praying every day that he doesn’t make any more mistakes is … well, I’ll let Sharon say it —

This is all leading up to Perry blaming all the God hating heathens for his failures because God keeps telling him to run. And there is three things God is known for; first God is Great, uh second God is Omnipresent, third, third, hmmmm, did I say God is Great?

Immediately after telling a group, “Well, I prayed right before I walked over here that I wouldn’t make any mistakes that my friends in the media would be able to put on television,” Perry screwed up by saying that  his flat-rate format “would eliminate standard deductions.”  Bobby Jindal, who ain’t exactly a mental giant, stepped in to save him.

I think Sharon is right.  God is answering Rick’s prayers.  He’s saying, “Shuddup, Rick, you’re getting on my nerves.”

My math shows that every day Rick Perry stays on the campaign trial costs five Texas teachers their jobs in Perry’s security detail alone.  I think God’s getting hacked about that.