You know how New Year’s Eve is for amateur alcoholics?  Well, Black Friday is for amateur shopoholics.  I do not even go outside on Black Friday because there’s bullets flying and pepper spray busting.  When I die, I want to be real old, real sick, or doing something worth dying for.  I do not want “innocent bystander” anywhere in my obituary.

Thelma says she might be willing to risk that for Shiny Friday or Union Made Monday, but she ain’t willing to die for $199 generic plasma teevee made in China and guaranteed to emit all manner of bad child labor karma and God only knows what else.

And speaking of pepper spray, Amazon has some great reviews of this food product.  Enjoy!

So we’re all staying at the shop today and thanking our lucky stars that we belong to the same political party as this woman.

TUCSON, Ariz. – U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords helped serve a Thanksgiving meal to service members and retirees at a military base in her hometown of Tucson, Ariz.

Giffords arrived in the dining hall at Davis-Monthan Air Force Base at midday Thursday wearing a ball cap and an apron with her nickname of “Gabby” sewn on the front. She was accompanied by her retired astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, who also donned an apron.

Giffords used only her left hand as she served, a sign that physical damage remains from the injuries she suffered when she was shot in January.

Thanks to Sam and Gramian for the heads up.

I am thankful to have this professional political organization to vent every day.

I am thankful that Tom DeLay is looking at 4 years in jail for something three judges – two of them Republican – undid in a week.  I am thankful that Republicans all over the state are having to spend today poring over maps because their response is due tomorrow at noon.  No, wait, that’s tacky.

I am thankful for being a tacky woman.

I wish you all a warm and wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends.

Remember that goofy broad Pamela Geller who is obsessed with Islam and goes all over the country trying to scare people half to death that Sharia Law is coming and it … eats … brains?

In the pinball game of life, Pamela Geller’s flippers are a little further apart than most people’s.  She is mortified that Butterball Turkeys might be … Sharia! She says —

Non-Muslims in America and Europe don’t deserve to have halal turkey forced upon them in this way, without their knowledge or consent. So this Thanksgiving, fight for your freedom. Find a non-halal, non-Butterball turkey to celebrate Thanksgiving this Thursday.

Oh yeah, because eating kosher hot dogs made me Jewish.

Apparently, to be halah, whoever kills the bird says Allah Akbar.  But the bird doesn’t speak Muslim so, the best I can tell, it doesn’t know what the hell anybody is saying.  I mean, you could say, “Praise Skippy” and that damn bird is gonna taste the same.  Besides, Dirt Janochek says it evens out because he hollers, “Jesus H. Christ” several times while getting the turkey out of the backyard deep fryer.

I’m not naming names here, but some people – Pamela Geller – need to get a life.

Thanks to Paul for the heads up.

Between cooking Thanksgiving dinner and pouring over the maps, I’m going to be a semi-poster today.  Don’t forget, my mac and cheese recipe includes a cup of happy, so I am delighted that Stephen sent me this picture to add to the recipe.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Notice the Austin City Hall in the background.  You just gotta love that.

I’ll add some comments on the new maps when I have time.  best I can tell right now, it’s looking good for Democrats.  Greedy Rick Perry is getting whipped over these maps.

Courtesy of the Iowa Democratic Party.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Thanks to Carol for the heads up.

I went to speak at the Victoria Democrats meeting last night to  bring some holiday cheer and, to my surprise and delight,  the new club President, Laura Kinnison, presented me with a gift — my two favorite things.  Texas sweet red wine and shiny.  Damn, I love shiny.

If any of you chicks think I will loaning out that bracelet for holiday parties you are deeply and tragically mistaken.  There ain’t room in Texas for two broads with that bracelet.

Thank you, Victoria Democrats and Chairman Kelly Gill for a great night of laughter and fellowship.  And I’m sorry I made the priest blush.  I mean, not a LOT sorry, but some.