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Glenn Beck, now just a speedbump on the Road to Nowhere.

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Juanita’s grandpa used to entertain her with stories about his little brother.  He told Juanita that his little brother was so ugly that his momma had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dogs to play with him.

It seems that a guy in Wisconsin by the name of Jerry Deschane had the same problem.  His 27 year old son, Brian, dropped out of college and has little management experience.  But on the upside, Brian has successfully obtained several drunken-driving convictions.

So Jerry tied a pork chop around Brian’s neck and sent him out to play government.

Daddy Deschane gave more than $121,000 to Governor Scott Walker and his running mate.

Brian Deschane - Pre Pork Chop

Son Deschane then gets “a cushy job earning $81,500 per year” working in Governor Walker’s administration.  The guys he beat out for the job as head of environmental and regulatory affairs in the state Department of Commerce were (1) a guy with a doctorate and eight years’ experience overseeing the cleanup of petroleum-contaminated sites, and (2) a professional engineer who served since 2003 in the post to which Deschane was appointed.

Daddy Deschane claims he in no way got this job for his son, other than mentioning to Walker’s campaign manager and now chief of staff, that his son “was out there and available.”

And he had a pork chop around his neck.

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In honor of Debbie Wasserman Schultz being named the first female to head the Democratic National Committee, all the women at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. and Juanita’s band, Bitchin’ Betty and the Sequined Backhoes, will be wearing our ta-ta’s a little higher and a little prouder tomorrow.

Every woman in the Democratic Party needs to go right now and make a contribution to The Democratic  National Committee.   If you can’t spring for $25 right now, you can fill in the dot beside the “other” and write in $5.00  It’s not the amount so much as the female voice saying, “Nice of you to look over here, President Obama.  That’s some of the change we believe in.”

And you guys can pitch in a few dollars yourselves because you know Debbie is plenty easy on the eyes.

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When Aaron Peña jumped ship and became a Republican early this year right after being elected as Democrat in the Valley, Juanita wondered who was going to have buyer’s remorse first – Peña or the GOP.

That question has been answered:

The House budget bill represents the first spending reduction on education since at least as far back as 1949 and is expected to lead to massive statewide teacher and school employee layoffs. But the House bill, passed largely along party lines late Sunday, also underfunds Medicaid by $4 billion and makes deep cuts to other state programs as its slashes spending by $23 billion from current budget levels.

State Rep. Aaron Peña, R-Edinburg, broke from his own party’s ranks to vote against the bill, saying the calls from constituents in his district were overwhelmingly opposed to the legislation.

Both of them.

Oddly, Peña wants to have his cake and eat it, too.  He doesn’t want to raise taxes, but he doesn’t want to cut services either.  Somebody forgot to tell him that governing doesn’t make you magic.

Juanita hollers at Peña, “Hey, Aaron, you can kiss my big blue butt when the folks in the Valley are chasing you with intent to barbeque, Honey.”

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A couple of weeks ago, my Bubba, who is a writ twit and fairly active in Democratic politics, gets a phone call from Charles Soechting, the immediate past Chairman of the Texas Democratic Party.  Bubba was expecting the call because two or three of his close friends told him that Soechting was hunting him, and they had given Bubba a clue as to why.

Soechting is also a lawyer.  He does not live in this county.

Soechting called to ask Bubba to use all his influence and persuasive powers to keep any Democrat in Fort Bend County from running against  local Republican Judge Cliff Vacek.  Soechting, in his role as a trial lawyer, had just won a $4 million civil judgment in Vacek’s court and thought Vacek was “a good guy.”

Cliff Vacek: A mind free of complex thought

Cliff Vacek was appointed to the bench by Rick Perry in a $363000 backroom deal, and it got sleazier from there.  He was the judge who got the county to rent his old law office at a price that would have paid off the fair market value of the house in the 3 year term of the lease, and – hold on, now! –  even water his cattle at taxpayer expense.

And then there’s his real special, real favorite, real close personal “campaign manager”, Karen Pearson, who got famous for openly admitting that she made a $500,000  “loan” to a man she met at a high dollar slot machine in a dark, neon filled  casino.  Ms. Pearson’s full run of Vacek’s judicial chambers is not only bad manners, it leads to speculation that he’s campaign planning, among other things, on taxpayer property.  I know you can’t keep trouble from visiting, but you don’t have to offer her a chair.

I need to tell you something else about Judge Cliff Vacek.  You know the days they taught the Constitution in school?  He was absent that day.   Gizmo the three legged wonder dog knows more about the Constitution than Cliff Vacek does.

Vacek may not be the absolute worst judge in the county, but he’s giving it his best shot.  Even lawyers who slap him on the back and give him campaign donations wonder behind his back what he did with the money his momma gave him to go to law school.

Vacek is pathetic.  But apparently he is the darling of liberal trial lawyers.  He doesn’t believe in any of that Bill of Rights crapola but, boy howdy!, does it ever believe in helping other rich trial lawyers.

Bubba has had an awful bad month with Texas Democratic Party Chairman.  One of them wants him to help Republicans get elected, and the other does not want him talking about how to get Democrats elected.

More to come, probably.  Dammit.

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I think this is a biological fact only true in Texas.

Democratic Rep. Mike Villarreal, D-San Antonio, attacked an amendment by Rep. Randy Weber, R-Pearland, to take $8 million out of the program. Based on a foreign study, Weber argued that women who use contraception are more likely to have abortions. “You think contraception doesn’t work?” asked the Democrat. “Have you ever used contraception yourself?”

Weber was dismissive. “I don’t think I know you well enough to go down this road,” he said tersely.

But, if you use contraception…..?