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As you know, Juanita’s favorite activity is watching Republicans when they are outraged.

“I have decided,” she notes, “that outrage passes for foreplay in most Republican homes.”

Well, somebody’s gonna get lucky tonight because the folks over at GOPUSA are in a thither.  “They are all quiverred-up with indignant,” she grins.

Fox News reports that “as thousands of protesters on both sides of an epic budget standoff in Wisconsin faced off Saturday at the Capitol, alleged doctors were handing out ‘fake’ sick notes to protesters — allowing them to call in sick while the budget impasse continues.”

And sure, enough, I went to Fox News and they did “report it.”  I put report in quotation marks because the whole story was based on rumor and hearsay but that is what counts as news over at Fox.

Well, Bobby Eberly, who is the owner of GOPUSA and originally hired Jeff Gannon as a reporter, got himself all twisted up over this story.  Plus, he is stunned, stunned I tell you, that President Obama has an opinion about what’s going on in Wisconsin.

Of course, Barack Obama has felt the need to step into Wisconsin’s business by attacking the budget proposal and calling it “an assault on unions.” Obama advocacy group, Organizing for America, “has bused in some of the nearly 70,000 protesters Saturday.” It’s a move that Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) called “inappropriate.”

Juanita says that she wonders what part of United States of America that Lindsay Graham and Bobby Eberly don’t understand.

If you have some spare time, scamper on over there and read some of the comments.  They are hoppin’ mad.  They are seething.  They are so damn stoopid.

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Come to find out, we don’t have enough money to feed hungry kids, buy Granny’s medicine, or buy canes for the lame.  We do however, have a damn NASCAR.

The House on Friday voted down a proposed budget amendment by Democratic Rep. Betty McCollum (Minn.) that would have ended the U.S. Army’s sponsorship of an official NASCAR racecar.

The amendment sought to bar the use of Pentagon funds to sponsor NASCAR vehicles. In 2010, the U.S. Army spent some $7 million to sponsor the No. 39 Chevy Impala stockracing car.The final vote was 148 in favor of the amendment, 281 opposed.

Oh see, it’s not that we don’t have any money.  It’s that we’re spending what money we do have for things that go varroooom.

What must Dale Earnhardt be thinking?

“I’ll tell you what.” Juanita says.  “For $36,000 a year Junior Janocek, Jr. will put an Army sticker on his 1978 Impala and race all comers.  He probably won’t win, but he’ll race, which seems to be the whole point here.  Hell, you give Junior, Jr. a six pack and he’ll race while fixing stubborn traffic lights with his shotgun.  I have to admit, that is a pretty good show.”

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“You gotta wonder,” Juanita began this morning as she diligently tried to get crepe paper stains out of Bessie’s bleached blonde hair after the big Mardi Gras ball last weekend, “why anarchists would try to burn down the Governor’s mansion.”

“I mean, Rick Perry is too stoopid to be hardly any government at all.”

“That just seems like a lot of wasted effort.”

She’s got a point.

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Texas sucks, but what the hell doesn’t now days?

Juanita is suspecting that we’re gonna have to start calling Texas The Used-To-Be-Great State.

The Legislative Study Group has pretty much decided that Rick perry is delusional.  “In his early life he was a cheerleader for the Aggies.  It appears that he never got over it,” Juanita says.  “He’s still cheering when we’re down to the two minute warning and are 8 runs behind while we have no idea where the puck is and our three pointer fouled out ten minutes ago.”

It’s not good.

Texas has the highest percentage of adults and children without health insurance and ranks fourth in the percentage of children living in poverty. Texas has the lowest percentage of pregnant women receiving prenatal care in their first trimester. We spend less for mental health services per capita than any other state, and we’re next to last in Medicaid coverage of the poor and per capita Medicaid expenditures.

Our schools may be packed with students, but they are not producing the well-educated young workers the state needs. We are in the bottom 10 in state and local expenditures per public school pupil, while the high school graduation rate ranks 43rd. The percentage of Texans 25 and older with a high school diploma or higher is the lowest in the nation.

Texas racks up an unenviable string of No. 1s on environmental issues. It is tops in the nation in emissions of carbon dioxide, releases of carcinogenic pollutants into the air, toxic chemicals released into water and hazardous waste generated. At the same time, Texans are fifth in per capita consumption of energy.

Now, do you want to hear the bad news?

We don’t have any money.  The Republicans spent it all.  Every dime.  And then they spent the federal stimulus money to cover-up their previous spending.

But our Governor has a $100,000,000 slush fund so he can give a million dollars to each of his 100 closest friends.

Juanita is considering asking Rick Perry to the VFW dance next week.  She did the math and she’s way behind on her allotment of Gubernatorial graft.   “I suspect I need to bring that to the attention of the proper authorities,” she says.

Texas Republican State Legislator Debbie Riddle needs to do a “I am not a witch” commercial because you couldn’t prove she’s not by her behavior.

She now wants children to starve because their parents need punishing.

She calls it “preaching” but it’s nothing that sweet Jesus would have said.

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We got an email here at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. (and, yes, franchises are available after a year of training and all the money you have) that we need to share with you.

Dear Ms. Susan, I was hoping you could pass on word to Miss Juanita Jean that a Fort Bend resident is headed to Madison to perform for the protesters.  John Rioux is originally from New Hampshire and Boston but relocated to Fort Bend a few years ago because his wife’s family is here. His band, Street Dogs http://www.facebook.com/streetdogs, is a Boston based punk rock band.  They have long been active in politics.  Their most recent release contains a song “Up the Union.” In December they performed at the DC office of the AFL/CIO.  They are headed to Madison to do 2 performances on Monday in support of the Workers.  (in the interest of full disclosure, I play a little Irish music with Johnny when he’s in town.)

The email is from one of my favorite writ twits, Kevin Murphy.

There is also a pizza parlor in Madison where you can order and pay for pizzas to be sent to the protesters.

Bud, who is one of our favorite customers, sent $14 in our name to honor the 14 Wisconsin Democratic Senators.  This money will help them fight the fight in Wisconsin.  From what I hear, they’re waiting on your $14.

Lily told me that we’re all supposed to wear red next week to show that we stand in solidarity with our brothers and sisters in Wisconsin who are fighting for truth, justice, and, dammit, the American way.

And as of today, we will quit using Republican words.  We will quit calling it “entitlements” and call it what it is – earnings.  And government does not supply services; it supplies necessities.

And if you know of any other ways to remind America that greed is not good and the destruction of the working class is goal of the Republican Party, please let us know in the comment section.

Juanita says she’s had more than plenty of the Republican party.