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Tom DeLay WILL be tried in Travis County.  The trial will start October 26.  Thelma’s getting hotel reservations.  Who wants to meet me there?

“You know, guys,” Juanita told the customers at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc., this morning, “what with Tom DeLay and Newt Gingrich back in the news, it feels like old times, doesn’t it?”

“And I think it’s especially nice of them to try to grab some headlines right here before the 2010 elections,” Verdelia responded.  “The Democrats could use a little ‘hey, it could be worse’ reminding.”

“All we need now is for a paragraph or two of George Bush’s book to leak before it’s published,” Carmen, the Texas Chainsaw Manicurist joins it.

Juanita jumped on that one, “Hon, the book is just gonna have one paragraph.  The rest will be pictures he’s drawn of Dick Cheney wearing a dress.  And that’s fact dead solid perfect guaranteed fact.”

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Tom Delay wants to go to trial, but he wants the trial moved to his next door neighbor’s house and wants his church choir to be the jury.  It also wouldn’t mind it if the judge was his brother-in-law and his daughter was the court reporter. Nice try, Tom.

And reason he believes it should be moved from Travis County?

“Everybody knows Travis County is the last bastion of liberalism in Texas,” DeLay said. “There is no way I can get a free and fair trial in this county.”

“Okay, Bubbie,” Juanita grins, “First off, you are not gonna get a free trial any place.  Trials are not free.  They are very expensive.  Just because Jack Abramoff gave you free dinners and free trips doesn’t mean everything is free.  So just give up that free notion.”

“Now fair is different question.  If you don’t trust Texans with your case, perhaps we could have the trial moved to another state.  Let’s say … Vermont.  Okay, maybe not Vermont.  How about North Carolina?  No, wait, they went blue in 2008 so they’re just crawling with a liberal infestation, too.”

“Humm … we’re running out of room on the dance floor, Tom.  Maybe we could move it to another country?  How about Canada?  No, they got that socialized medicine.  I guess France is totally out of the question and Venezuela … well, ’nuff said.”

“I’ve got it!  Iran!  We can move your trial to Iran!” she shouts.  “They have one of those crazy religious nut leaders that you so adore and heaven knows that your jury will be filled with your fellow religious fanatics.  And nobody ever accused Iran of being liberal.  Heck, they’ll run the whole trial around religion.  You’ll fit right in.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s settled,” Juanita smiles.

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… we let Jesus sort you out.

Juanita saw this pickup right next to the WalMart a couple days ago.  In all fairness, the library is across the street.  In more all fairness, they didn’t turn the direction to the library.

A close-up of the bumper stickers?

One side says, “Gun Owners for McCain / Palin” and the other side says, “Christians 4 McCain / Palin”

Make up your mind, Bub.

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No hay electricity en Casa de Juanita hoy.

Do not send her tacky emails saying she’s not approving your comments that disagree with her fast enough to suit you.  As she said in the rules, that’s the price you pay.  She’s not in a real pleasant mood.

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So hot we had to feed the chickens cracked ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

So hot it melted leather while it was still on the cow.

It boiled the water inside a watermelon while it was still on the vine.

It broiled dirt.

Corn is poppin’ on the stalk.

So hot that we saw a rattlesnake crawl into a campfire to find shade under the coffeepot.

The chickens were pluckin’ themselves.

People are linin’ up to sit in the mesquite coals at the local BBQ joint  just to cool down.

It’s hot as high school love.