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Juanita was tickled pink to see The President of These United States have a little fun with the teabaggers yesterday.

Speaking at a Democratic fundraiser in Miami Thursday night, the president touted tax cuts in the stimulus measure and the fact that the tax rate has not been increased for those making less than $250,000 a year.

“So I’ve been amused in recent days by these people having rallies,” he told the crowd at the fundraiser to laughter. “I think they should be saying thank you.”

And there’s this —

The White House noted Thursday that federal taxes were reduced by $173 billion in 2009 and said that the average tax refund is about 10 percent higher than last year.

“Well, it’s not like anybody anywhere anyhow ever for one single minute believed that these teabagger protests were actually about taxes,” Juanita grinned.  “It’s like my Daddy used to say, ‘Baby Girl, don’t get mad at people just because their pilot light went out.  You can be amused by them, but getting mad is just wasting time.’  Daddy went to That Great Oil Patch In The Sky before there was such a thing as teabaggers, but I suspect he saw them coming when he said that.”

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There is a race for mayor in Missouri City.  Juanita does not live in Missouri City, but it’s just down the road from her beloved Richmond and the fun spills over sometimes.

Some of you may recall that there is a woman unburdened by good sense who is running for mayor of Missouri City.  Cynthia Lenton Gary is not new to The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. because, God love her, she makes it soooo easy.

The latest?  Although Ms. Gary claims to be a Democrat, she is touting the endorsement of  the Republican dude (seen here in this video urging Democrats to vote Republican) who ran for DA last month and got 20.08% of the vote.  He has the distinction of coming in fifth in a three way race.  And, even though Richard Raymond only got 43 whole votes in his own precinct and 14.92% of the vote in the largest precinct in Missouri City, Ms. Gary announced his endorsement with  flair and pride —

Professor Gary responded that she is very honored by this support and appreciates Mr. Raymond’s efforts at drawing attention to some of the ethical problems in our county and local taxing entities when he ran a very spirited race for the district attorneys seat last March. I know that with his help and guidance we can move our city in the direction of a more open and transparent government, one that is responsive to all her citizens and follows the laws of the state in the spirit of ethical praxis.

“Spirited race?  Honey, loud and obnoxious does not count as spirited.  Write that down somewhere.”

“And, Babe, listen up.  Ethical praxis?  Praxis?  Really?  Honey, if that man swallowed a ten penny nail, he’d cough up a corkscrew.  Good Lord, Honey, he lost because he makes John Edwards look like The Patron Saint of Universal Matrimony.  People don’t want him anywhere near their money or their government.  You really think he’s got a pocket filled with ethical …. anything?  Babe, hold on to that thought while we defrost your brain,” Juanita suggests.

“Richard Raymond got creamed.  He got beat so bad that he has to unzip his pants to see out.  He got beat so bad that even his grandchildren will be born shaking.  He got beat so bad that his toenails are loose.  He got an all-world butt kickin’.”

“I think Gary has found the bottom of that barrel we’ve been missing,” Juanita acknowledges.  “Why, come to think of it, it’s kinda the depth praxis.  And, Honey, she’s mighty proud of that what with press releases and all.”

I flat love this place.

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UPDATE:  Click here to see some of these great signs that Democrats have come up with.

I don’t think Juanita is overstating her case when she says that Texas Governor Rick Perry is not a fountain of bright ideas.

“We call him Catfish Perry – all mouth and no brains,” she shakes her curls and grins.

“But, it appears that he’s come up with a sparkling plan for us – The Libruls.  Here, I’ll let him tell you,” she says as she points everyone to the morning paper.

AUSTIN, Texas — Gov. Rick Perry is telling tea party organizers across the state to watch their backs for liberals who wish to do them harm.

In an invitation-only conference call with tea party organizers in Texas, Perry urged those participating in Thursday’s tax day rallies to “continue looking over your shoulder … for people trying to make the tea party into something that it’s not.”

Perry, participating in the call to thank tea party organizers, was following up on warnings from activist Michael Quinn Sullivan that “some liberals are going to try to infiltrate tea parties with racist signs.”

Perry said “you can bet that every dirty trick is going to get played on tea parties, trying to marginalize them, trying to make them into something that they’re not.”

“There is one thing you can say about The Libruls.  We know when we’re beat.  In the contest for racist and/or misspelled signs, we concede.  Governor perry and his friends win.  We wouldn’t even try to compete on their level.  We’re just amateurs.”

“And, Governor, I can assure you that I cannot complete with a full grown woman who would go out in public wearing tea bags for earrings, as they do in Sugar Land.  The Libruls hand you that victory all on your own, Babe.”

A local liar for hire, who rents himself out as “political consultant” for both sides of the aisle, has probably won some kind of award for gosh-awful political advice.

First off, have you noticed that anybody with a video camera and a computer is now a “political consultant?”

“Damnest thing I’ve ever seen,” Juanita says.  “I think political consultants are kinda like scurvy except not the good part of scurvy.  But, that’s a whole ‘nother story for a day when I’m doing a piggyback perm and have lots of time to talk.”

For now, we will share this amazing political ad.  The point of the ad was to approach black voters who did not vote in the Democratic primary and try to get them to vote in the GOP primary run-off.  “It’s legal, but it ain’t gonna happen,” Juanita knows.

“First off, if you’re approaching black voters, do not use YouTube.  Skate boarders use YouTube.  Black folks, not so much,” Juanita gently explains to overly white people.

“Second off, if you’re appealing to Democratic black voters, do not use two stinking rich old white Republican guys – neither of who seem capable of looking anybody straight in the eye — whining that they are being treated unfairly and that you – a Democrat of color — need to help them by voting Republican.  You also probably shouldn’t ask them to donate to your Poor Rich White Dude With Only Two Sets of Golf Clubs Fund.    I never thought I’d have to explain this to anybody, but apparently there is an IQ shortage in the political consultant field,” Juanita says.

Needless to say, the touted candidate lost.

The consultant who took money for this tomfoolery?  Scott E. Berrett.  It’s robbery without a gun.

“Buck Pocheck says that he’s hiring a political consultant because he likes to get whipped,” Juanita says with a roll of her eyes.

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Well, the election results in the hotly contested Republican primary are in.  Considering that our electronic voting machines busted and the polls were ordered to stay open an hour later, things went about normal.

The incumbent DA, John Healey (see Republican white sheet below), won with 52% of the vote.  His opponent was proudly endorsed by Sheriff Milton Wright, which cost her between 500 – 700 votes, easy.  The dude’s endorsement is the kiss of death.

“Honey, you’d be better situated hacking off Superman than pleasing Milton Wright.  I mean, both are going to get you in a whole mess of trouble, but at least Superman has a red cape and all,” Juanita explains.

Rumor has it that the Democrats have designed a yard sign for November that says  —

Vote for Democrat Joe Blow
Milton Wright Endorsed The Other Guy.

It looks like a winner to me.

The only other interesting race was on the Democratic side, for precinct chair of precinct 3113.  A.R. Khan ran against Diana Wheeler and won 25 to 1.  Secret ballot?  Not so much.