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Juanita was bored last night so she listened to crazy radio.  Crazy radio is her shortwave.  If you people think Rush Limbaugh is bad, you need to listen to shortwave.

Anybody with a FCC license can talk on the shortwave radio.  The person with the license can also have “guests” on their radio shows.

The way Juanita figures it, it’s kinda like the internet.  “People just talk and throw it out there into the universe hoping that someone is listening – or reading – because we all like to think that we have something to say that someone else wants to hear.”

“So, I’m hardly different than the crazy people on the shortwave radio except I’m not crazy and have papers to prove it,” she says.  “I’m eccentric, eccentric as hell, but not crazy.”

“Anyway,” she continues, trying to weave her way back to the reason she started, “I heard some guys last night talking about the Survivalists.  They appeared to be one.  They said that they believed in Guns, Gold, and God.  I thought that was pretty darned weird.  I guess I was wondering what God had to do with guns and gold.  Apparently, a lot.”

“I say ‘a lot’ because I found all manner of God and gun stuff on the internet machine.  I thought God was strictly a bolt of lightening kind of guy.    I guess I was wrong,” she frets.

And then there was this mess in South Carolina.

A Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina over the weekend took some of the Tea Party’s violent rhetoric to new levels, with speakers attacking everything from President Obama’s citizenship to Sen. Lindsey Graham’s sexuality.

And then there was this —

Pastor Stan Craig, of the Choice Hills Baptist Church, was particularly angry about the state of Washington, saying he “was trained to defend the liberties of this nation.” He declared that he was prepared to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.”

“So, we’ve got pastors threatening to do something unnatural with a gun.  And I have to admit that the whole ‘suit up’ thing has me worried because I’m afraid it has to do with latex and chains and whips and stuff I do not want to look at,” she cringes.

“I think the guys on crazy radio – and it is 99% old white guys – need to get back to talking about the Illuminati and Janet Reno’s black helicopters and Area 51 before somebody gets hurt.  I’m talkin’ bolt of lightening kind of hurt, because I think God still has that in his arsenal.  I imagine God’s getting hacked-off to think that somebody needs a goofy handgun to defend Him.”

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If you’re like Juanita and wake up in cold sweats at night over the possibility that all the Bubbas in the United States did not learn from George W Bush that electing a double IQ Governor from Texas is not a great idea, you’ll be happy to hear this news.

In the latest Rasmussen poll, Bill White has come up two points and finally pushed Rick Perry below 50%.

“People from foreign states better keep a heads-up on this one, because Rick Perry thinks that he and Sarah Palin are gonna occupy the White House.  That gives me chronic reoccurring hebejebes,” she says, “because there’s fair to decent odds that those teabaggers are gonna try to bring back the good ole days of government wild spending and  crunching the Constitution like George Bush had.  If that doesn’t scare you into salvation and Sunday School seat, nothing will.”

By the way, Buck Pochek is the Rick Perry point man for Fort Bend County.  Buck is dumber than Rick, but not near as prissy.

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You know that politics has come a long ways where there’s a floor fight in a Democratic Party primary in California and both of the candidates are hooter toters.

It wasn’t all that long ago when wimmen folks would be making the coffee and cookies at the convention. They still do at GOP conventions.

But not now for Democrats.  And Juanita thinks it’s great.  “Get your butt kickin’ game on, Girl!” is her opinion of the situation.

One of the most watched primary campaigns of 2010, and one of the most dramatic, is taking to the floor of the California Democratic Party Convention on Sunday, April 18th.

In an impressive feat against blue-dog incumbent Congresswoman Jane Harman, primary challenger and progressive democrat, Marcy Winograd, has secured more than the needed number of votes to pull Harman’s Democratic Party endorsement recommendation and open the contest to debate today, Sunday, the last day of the convention.

And Juanita was plenty proud to see her typewriter hero, Jim Hightower, lending support to the progressive candidate.

Juanita is the proud owner of one of Jim Hightower’s famous cowboy hats, worn by Jim Himself.  When she gets writer’s block, she puts it on.  It doesn’t help any at all, but it is a powerful fashion statement. “I think Jim squeezed all the good ideas out of it before he put it up for auction,” she says.

“Although the blue dog won with a close vote of 599-417, it’s a worthy battle when women feel secure enough to tooth and nail it,” Juanita contends.

She’s probably right.

Yo, hey here.  This is Buck Pochek, of The Good Folks at Buck Pochek’s Rural Entertainment Promoters and recent 1/17^th proud owner of the probable Sugar Land semi-pro baseball team, The Sweet City Ballers.

I snuck in this weekend and figured out Juanita’s password for her computers.  Someone should be allowed to present the other side of issues on this here so-called website.  Juanita says, “There is no acceptable other side of sanity,” but she is wrong.  There is.  It is called Real True American Who Hate Taxes and Resent Being Called Teabaggers Because It’s Demeaning, Sexually Speaking.

I am Buck Pochek and I am a proud 1^st and 2^nd Amendment proponent.  I have a right to say whatever I want to say and I have guns to make you listen.  As far as I’m concerned, you only have a right to 2 amendments at any given time.  I have picked mine.  You liberals can take the 3^rd and the 5^th.

Ha! Take the 5^th.  Ha! That’s funny.  I am a funny man.  I could go pro in comedy if this deal with Tom DeLay and AAA-baseball falls through, which it won’t because if there’s dealing to do, Tom’s your man.  Dancin’ and bookkeepin’, not so much.  But that little fella can wheel and deal.

Anyway, I just wanted you folks to know that some of us right here in Fort Bend County are Real True Americans Who Hate Taxes.  Juanita and her liberal friends, and I’m including Thelma here even though we sometimes “date” if you know what I mean, are not the only opinion around here.

I’m gonna try to sneak in here on weekends and let you know what The Real True Americans With Guns and God are doing in Fort Bend County.

o

Something is wrong with you if you don’t love Willie Nelson.

There a great story about Willie going on trial in Waco several years ago for getting caught with marijuana in his car.  The officer saw a car on the side of the road with a man asleep inside.  A subsequent search revealed the evil weed.

During the pre-trial hearings, Willie’s lawyer asked the young arresting officer, “And, sir, what was your probable cause for seaching this man’s car?”

The young officer sat there for a minute and, with disbelief in his eyes at that question, answered the lawyer, “Uh, Sir, it was Willie Nelson.”

I think that story is true,  In fact, I’m pretty sure it is.

Willie is going on Larry King Live and there’s a preview of Willie explaining that he partakes of a grass cocktail every day.  “I have a huge tolerance for it,” he says, which pretty much qualifies as the understatement of the year.  Huge doesn’t begin to cover it.

Gotta love Willie.

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Juanita is in such a good mood today that’s she giving away curling irons.  Get in line because she’ll surely come to her senses soon.

“Goldman Sachs is going to stinkin’ jail,” Juanita shouts.

The government has accused Goldman Sachs of defrauding investors by failing to disclose conflicts of interest in mortgage investments it sold as the housing market was faltering.

“But, that’s just part of the good news,” she says.

“People often ask me if I’m upset because Tom DeLay is not in jail, but instead is out trying to be a dealmaker in AAA baseball.  First of all, seeing Tom DeLay make a complete fool of himself on Dancing With the Stars just to make money is much better than seeing him do the perp walk.  And, I have to admit that seeing him involved in minor-league anything is pitiful for a man who once claimed to be the federal government.”

“So, I’m all okay with pathetic Tom DeLay,” she smiles.

“No, the man I want to see in jail is Phil Gramm.  And, have mercy, it’s about to happen.  Nobody deserves being roommate with Tough Timmy for a few years more than Phil Gramm does.”

A former banker who blew the whistle on thousands of secret bank accounts rich Americans held at Swiss giant UBS claimed Thursday some U.S. politicians also kept off-shore accounts with the bank.

“We had an office in Washington that we all referred to as the PEP office – for ‘Politically Exposed People,'” Bradley Birkenfeld said.

He was speaking by phone – on tax day, no less – from Schuylkill County federal prison in Pennsylvania, where he is serving a 40-month sentence for his role in the tax evasion scheme.

“Only top managers from the bank knew the names of the political clients,” Birkenfeld said.

“So, we have a whistleblower sitting on proof of hanky-panky at USB,” Juanita grins.  “And who is a vice-president / lobbyist for USB?  Phil Gramm, that’s who.  Free haircuts all day on the day Phil Gramm is indicted!”

“And, then as if to put a cherry on top of this day, guess who is heavily invested in USB?  Oh be still my heart, it’s John Cornyn.”

So head on over to the beauty salon this afternoon and get your Celebratory Phil Gramm Curling Iron.