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The polls are closed.  The votes are tallied.  And the Republicans are still fighting.

“It just goes to show what a dirty campaign will get you, and that’s what he ran,” McMeans said about Forlano.

Reached Wednesday morning, Forlano accused McMeans of running the “dirty campaign” and said McMeans was “untruthful” throughout the campaign.

McMeans now faces Democratic opponent Harrison Gregg Jr. in the fall election. Gregg ran unopposed.

McMeans said the difference in the race was that Forlano had “no real criminal law experience.” Secondly, McMeans reiterated that Forlano ran a “dirty campaign.”

“A lot of people told us tonight — all of the poll workers that I have — that the dirty robo-calls, the lies and just the untruths he told in his fliers and speeches turned them off,” McMeans said. “They’re done with dirty politics. Fort Bend voters are so smart that they’re not going to put up with dirty politics, and that’s how he ran his last election and that’s how he ran this election, and you can see how that works.”

Forlano called McMeans a “sore winner” and that he was “sorry to hear” about McMeans’ comments.

“They are still fighting about the race that happened 4 years ago.  They won’t even get rared-up to really fight about this one for another year or two,” Juanita says.

“That’s what you gotta love about Republicans,” she said.  “They don’t let it end when it ends.”

“And, come to think of it, grudge-holding is certainly a quality you’d want in a county court at law judge,” she grins, “if freekin’ justice ain’t real high on your list.”

“Come November, I’m going to vote for Harrison Gregg, Jr.  because he knows how to get over himself.”

———–

On a personal note, McMean’s father has been a judge around here since the earth cooled.  He called my husband a few weeks ago to complain about something he claimed I wrote, but I didn’t.  Hal wrote it.  But, the father thought that since my name is clearly visible on Hal’s site (as a link) then I must have written it.

Contrary to popular belief, I do not write everything on the Internets.

Hal writes the half of it that I don’t.  And you can tell what I wrote from what Hal writes because Hal is a better writer than I am.

My husband told the judge that it was a little weird to holler at him about something I didn’t write.  He told him that if he has a problem with something I didn’t write, that he should call me and file an official complaint about things I don’t write.

He, of course, hasn’t.

My husband operates on the theory that if someone is very confused, you should do your part to add to that confusion.  It makes life interesting.

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“I live with crazzzy people all around me,” Juanita admits.

She has just seen the results of the propositions on the Republican primary ballot in Fort Bend County.

Voter ID carried by 95%.

Some damn thing about controlling government growth carried by 93%, which mean everybody voted for it except those living off the government dole – like Republican elected officials.

Cut My Taxes!  Cut My Taxes!  I Don’t Care If Little Children Starve on The Street or Airplanes Fall Out of the Sky Cut My Damn Taxes! carried by 94%.

Putting the Ten Commandments in your face every darn day even though Sweet Jesus had a better idea – 95%, of course.

Requiring women to have a sonogram, a mere 69%, probably because they are afraid someone will ask them to pay for it.  They want to be mean, but they also want to be thrifty.

And that pretty much sums up Juanita’s thoughts on Republicans for today.

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Juanita is pleased, for the most part, with the election results yesterday.

But, there is one thing that she has been delighting in and laughing about.  She came stumbling in late this morning, wiping little sleep balls from the corner of her eyes.

“There were two white male elected officials who wanted to be kingmakers,” she begins as she pours coffee and settles down at the appointment table to see what miracles she has to perform with hair today, “and both of them ended up with enough egg on their faces to have a breakfast platter named after them at Denny’s.”

“One was a Republican and the other was a Democrat.  They both wanted to be kingmakers on the west side of the county.”

“Republican Sheriff Milton Wright, God love him, thought he could personally name the next district attorney on the sheer force of being a white male and having a gun,” she starts.

“Milton pours all his amazing political skills  into electing his good buddy, Richard Raymond.  Milton personally strutted the guy around town, wrote political ads for him, and stood in front of the polls on election day,” Juanita recounts.

“It was a three person race and Richard Raymond came in fourth,” Juanita hoots.  “No kidding, he was so far behind the pack that he had to take out an ad in the newspaper for somebody to come find him.”

“This morning, the poor guy has to unzip his pants to see out,”  she grins, “and Milton Wright has to face the fact that his name and his reputation are good for about 20% of the vote.  Good Lord, Honey, my name is dirt and I can russle up 25%, which means that Milton Wright has as much political clout as lockjaw.”

“So, all Milton’s bravado about electing his chief deputy the next sheriff in two years  might want to get re-thought or the chief deputy might want to take some night classes because it’s beginning to look like the sheriff has the coattails of a 6 year old girl, which is to say diddle squat.”

The other wannabe kingmaker is Richard Morrison.

“Well, Richard caught a bad case of ‘commissioner disease’ and started thinking he was all that, a keg of beer, and a funny hat,” she grins.

“He wanted to be the Democratic kingmaker of his cowboy fiefdom but wandered off somewhere between A and B and let his ego override his butt,” she explains.  “He bull headedly supported all the incumbents in an election where people wanted change.”

“He supported Dora Olivo in spite of the fact that she had never done squat for another Democrat or that she’s been a waste of good air for eight years.  But Dora is real good at one thing – feeding people’s egos.  I mean, if she could find professional employment at that, she’d get rich.”

Juanita continues, “So instead of getting the ethics reform he promised or the road widen that he was all gung-ho about, Richard spent time adoring Dora.  You might as well talk Egyptian to a pack mule as try to reason with Richard.”

“Richard sat on his hands for the county chair race because a weak county chair means more power for Richard.  He was a complete nincompoop about it and even his friends will likely remember that he’s worthless as a barrel full of feathers when it’s crunch time.”

“So, all in all it was a pretty good election,” Juanita concludes.  “I got to see old white men learn that just because they’re crowing doesn’t mean it’s daylight.”

b

b

“Every election season I get into a fight with a Catholic priest,” Juanita reports after a day on the campaign trail standing in front of polls for her favorite candidates.

“I have no idea why Catholic priests and I do not get along,” she begins.  “Oh wait, no, I do know – I have a uterus and refuse to feel real bad about it.”

“This afternoon, long about 4:00, I went to Manford Williams elementary school on Highway 762 to see how voting was going,” she begins to tell her story.  “Lo and behold, I see a man with a Dora Olivo sign – you know, my State rep who opposes a woman’s right to choice and stem cell research but favors racism – and this man is wearing a Dora Olivo tee-shirt with a clerical collar in clear and plain view.”

“He is either a priest or impersonating a priest.  Either way, I’m hacked-off.  Plenty.  So I pull out my trusty little Nikon and start taking pictures.  He immediately holds the sign in his face.  I ask him to move it down and this is the best I got from him —

“So, I keep shooting and keeps keeps covering up, ashamed like Adam when God found him munching on a apple in the garden of Eden,” Juanita is getting wound up.

“Father,” I say, “be proud of who you are!”

“There wasn’t any proud to be found,” she says, “except for me when I got home and found one good shot where you can see the edge of his collar .”

“If you know this man, please let me know if he’s a priest out campaigning or a jerk impersonating a priest,” Juanita asks.  “Either way, I’d keep my little boys away from him.”

And she has one other charming and delightful story to tell.

“Long about 2:30, I was in Missouri City at a poll there.  You’ve heard me talk about my candidate for county chair, Steve Brown, running against the incumbent county chair, who I have long contended holds the land speed record for damn lazy.”

“Seriously, the woman has done diddle squat for Democrats.”

“So I was shocked when I pulled up to a poll and saw a man out campaigning for her,” Juanita says.  “He also has a car in the parking lot covered with Elaine Bishop signs.”

“I had to walk by the car to get to my handing-out spot.  Lo and hold – again! – I could not help but notice that the backseat of the car was filled with unplanted yardsigns. ”

She continues, “Son of a motherless goat!  I figured those were Steve Brown signs that some goofball had stolen from yards.  Day-um, I was hot.  There was gonna be blood, and if it was mine, that was fine but there was gonna be blood over this.  I was riled up and ready to …..”

“Whoa, wait,” she stops.  “Those are Elaine Bishop signs.”

“Look careful around the reflection and you’ll see the metal stakes of about 50 Elaine Bishop yardsigns in the back of a supporter’s car at 2:30 on election day.  Baby, she don’t have but about 25 yardsigns up all over the county and all the rest of her entire campaign is in a supporter’s backseat.”

“I stood there and laughed.  I called people over to see it, including her opponent, who was there working the crowd.”

Juanita sums it up, “Elaine raised a total of $200 for a county wide race, having just one contributor.  She bought pushcards.  I suspect she has at 90 % of them in her purse.  Her yardsigns are still in a backseat at 2:30 on election day.  But, Honey, that’s how she ran every Democratic effort  for the past 6 years.  That is more than she did for Barack Obama.”

“I want to tell you one thing.  If we lose to a finely oiled political machine like that, I quit. I quit politics.  The fix is in.”

UPDATE! Dora Olivo got her clocked cleaned tonight by my friend Ron Reynolds – proving that racism doesn’t motivate Democratic voters.  And, Elaine Bishop can use her yardsigns for kindling because she sure won’t be needing them for anything else.  Lazy looses.

By the way, of course I’m gloating.  I worked hard for it and I earned it.

6UP

It’s election day and the Republicans are expecting fist fights at the polls and all manner of mayhem. But, they’ll do it in a very Christian way, you know.

Juanita has closed the salon until 7:30 tonight so she can spend election day at the polls for her favorite candidates.  That means that unless something cool happens that she can upload on her trusty iPhone, you are in charge of entertaining yourself today.  However, if something cool does happen, Juanita will let you know through the miracle of modern big time journalism.

Our buddy and award winning field correspondent Bob let us know that the computers aren’t working at his poll this morning.

I was No. 11 to vote. Their laptop and Election Department scanner weren’t working right. They scanned my voter reg card but the info wouldn’t flow to the omputer, so the lady asked me how I spelled my last name, what my address was, what my birthday was. Usually I forget my voter card, so no telling how it would’ve gone if I’d only had my driver’s license.

They were on hold with the Election Administration the entire time I was there, trying to find out what to do about the computer glitch.

Not necessarily scintillating news, but that’s what I got.

Bob

Meanwhile, let us all know if something cool is happening at your poll today or you just have a joke or something.  You, too, can be a Juanita Jean Field Correspondent.

For sure, Juanita will be back here tonight after her precinct convention.  Maybe before.

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Juanita wonders what the deal is with this election.  She has received more robo calls today than she received for the past 8 years combined.

“Honey, it sounds like a hand bell choir at my place because I have a home phone, a business phone and a cellphone.  I am certain that if I took the proper time, I could tune them all to play the 1812 Overture tonight what with all the ringing,” she announces.

She’s wondering if you’re getting robo calls where you live and if,  like her, you are very unimpressed with the ones recorded over a phone line that are so scratchy that you have no idea what they’re saying.

This November she’s gonna get a recorder and record some of these calls.

Also, we got an email today from the county party, using the county party email list, saying how wonderful the incumbent county party chair is.  “That’s illegal in Texas, the District of Colombia, and some portions of Norway,” Juanita reports.  “But, it’ll have to wait in line along with all the other violations of the law she’s racking up.  Cripes, it’ll take a Grand Jury months to sort out the mess she’s made.”

Robo calls?  Effective or a hacker-offer?

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