The Ballad of Alternative Facts
South of the Border, down Mexico way
Is the land where the narcos and rapists all play
Sent here to kill us all, one at a time
Or force us to drink warm Corona, no lime
Or steal all our taxes and take all our jobs
So say all of Don’s nattering nabobs
They also sneak terrorists over the border
In dynamite zoot-suits, hand-made to order
To believe this is true in part, or at all
Means support Donnie and his yuge new wall
With cantaloupe calves and hulking wet backs
The Mexican threat is alternative facts
Donnie’s a smart guy, smarter than most
Smarter than all is his usual boast
Short thumbs a-flying and teeth all a-gnashing
His eyes all a-rolling and sometimes a-flashing
His brain all a-boil with smart thoughts a-gush
He poops out as tweets before his first flush
You may think he’s nuts, or that he’s a moron
Because he schools generals on how to get war on
He ignores intelligence on peace or on war
He’s never had need to use it before
Surrounded by sycophants, flunkies and hacks
“I’m a really smart guy” is alternative facts
Rex is an oilman, trotting the globe
Ben a brain surgeon, missing a lobe
Betsy an idiot in charge of school
Sessions a white supremacy tool
Perry’s Department of Energy
He would destroy, if he could count three
Mnuchin stole houses from folks in a jam
Pruit thinks climate change is just a scam
Millionaires, billionaires, brain dead jamokes
Without any actual capable folks
Kakistocrats and corporate flacks
Mean “draining the swamp” is alternative facts
The world respects me, not like Barack
I can tell Syria from Iran or Iraq
I won’t take Vladimir Putin’s jive
Frederick Douglass is still alive
Every chick wants me, that’s why I grab
My hair color’s real; I have no flab
The jews and the blacks and the gays they all love me
In all of my worlds, there’s no one above me
My crowds are the hugest, so’s my junk too
Reports to the contrary just aren’t true
With a dolt for a teacher, this autodidact
Donald J Trump IS alternative fact
Primo, I don,t know how you do this but, I like it.
1An impressive summary of our new national nightmare. I keep hoping to wake up back in the world of actual facts….
2Bravo!
3Outstanding Primo! Truly outstanding!
4Author! Author!
I sure did…
5Rhea, me too. I keep hoping I’ll wake up in the hospital and find this whole election and its sequelae were just a hallucination resulting from botulism.
6Primo, you have outdone yourself.
7@Primo
bravissimo bud bravissimo
8I agree.
9Primo, once upon a time in a world far, far away (a time prior to mid 20th century) I used to write songs. Had a cousin who did it for a living, especially writing stuff for Spike Jones – remember him? Unfortunately or fortunately, however you look at it, I got my hands slapped in parochial school for taking my mind of “higher” things for even one par-sec. Consequently, dear, you will never know how MUCH I enjoyed your creativity!
10My favorite stanza is your skewering of Drumpf’s cabinet, but the whole thing should be put to music, in 6/8 time,perhaps an Irish jig. It fits “The Irish Washerwoman” tune so well!
11Love it, Primo … LOVE It!!!
12Wayyy too late I realized if I dropped a few couplets it would scan to Sweet Betsy from Pike. Guess I’ll have to Dylan it up for Freakin Freddie and the band.
13Well done Sir.
14Primo? Primo. (Redundant, but true.)
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