Texas Has Arrived
In case you haven’t heard, Texas is all the rage in Norway.
Helt Texas is a slang phrase in Norway meaning, you guessed it, totally crazy.
“In Norwegian, ‘texas’ means mayhem and chaos, as in cowboys punching each other and breaking chairs over each other’s heads.”
Need examples?
Describing a crazy soccer match at an online sports journal.
Or maybe this …
However, I believe they shouldn’t stop there. Texas can also mean …
He Did Not Keep Us Safe.
Or maybe …
I Smoke The Marijuana.
Texas can also mean …
Texas: a verb meaning “I kiss Donald Trump’s ass.”
Don’t stop there….
Texas: pathetic adjective meaning “Men with Small Winkies.”
Here’s one meaning of Texas —
Dumber than damn Rick Perry
Norway needs to stop by here and get their hair done. They are selling Texas short with such a limited meaning.
Thanks to everybody for the heads up.
This would be really, really funny if it wasn’t so damn true.
1Er ikke at sannheten? (Ain’t that the truth?)
2I proffer a simple solution: change the name! May I suggest in place of the State of Texas, the State of Dystopia.
3I am here to defend the honor of the Texas ladies! Wendy Davis and Cecile Richards were on the Rachel Maddow Show last night. Please, please, please Texas, send Wendy Davis to the US Senate in place of Daffy Cruz, Jr. Be real smart, Texas and replace Cornyn with Leticia Van de Putte. Beautiful and smart is a winning combination for Texas!
PS After Dubya and Oops, would you please keep Texas males in Texas; especially current & former governors.
PPS Texas men who comment at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. are a different breed of steer and are excepted from the governor rule.
4In American English ‘texas’ means mayhem and chaos, as in cowboys punching each other and breaking chairs over each other’s heads. And shooting lots of people.
And electing damn-fool politicians. And defunding education. And undermining women’s health care while inserting government into women’s naughty parts. (Ouch.) And suppressing votes.
I know it is unfair to paint Texas’ citizens with such a broad brush, but the state itself deserves the rap as long as Ted Cruz and Louie Gohmert keep getting elected.
5Polite Kool Marxist says:
PPS Texas men who comment at The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. are a different breed of steer and are excepted from the governor rule.
hey PKM – you’ll want to revise that statement
I’d bet that the commentators at TWMDBS have bigger cojones (is that term allowed JJ?) than the average republican
(in case you are unaware: steers are castrated bulls)
6Have Norwegians been watching old movies, or the Lege?
7sgray … I did state “different breed of steer.” Not castrated but civilized. Plus, it sounded better than bull. 😀
We could discuss the common bull, which is a Republicon. They don’t require castration, because they implode from their own special brand of bullchit before they will ever reach maturity.
8PKM, “Texas men … are a different breed of steer”?
Whoa. WTF? Steers? Them’s fightin’ words wahr I come from.
And on the subject, that second from the bottom pic of “Men with Small Winkies” needs to be reworded to “Guys? with Small Winkies”.
9Because no way are those two tiny weenies “Men” by any reasonable definition. Mah Gawd, it would take an electron-scanning microscope to find their teensie widdle huevititos.
Great quote from Roger Simon of Politico:
10“The Republican party has peddled xenophobia, misogyny and willful ignorance for years…not surprising that it has come up with xenophobic, misogynistic and willfully ignorant candidates…”
Where better to find the aforementioned than the soil well-fertilized by bat$hit crazies. Of course, nearly every solid red state grows ’em good too.
Sandridge, are you saying that Texas men are a fragile lot? 😀
j/k We could have a real good time mixing political and animal husbandry metaphors, until Mama shuts us down. But on the political side, think of the bullpen as the RNC; for the smelly mess they leave.
11Now, as a foreign-stater all my life, Texan only by courtesy at this fine establishment and inheritance thru my Mom, allow me to present the flip side.
Texas also means:
big hats, big hair and big hearts
a can-do spirit
warm hospitality
miles and miles of miles and miles
exuberance in EVERYthing
taking life as you find it
atty-tude
oh my god, the FOOD!
And finally: Always feeling you’re among family, even if your kin are elsewhere… like I do with y’all!
12daChip: add Chip and Joanna Gaines to the plus column.
13All those alternates and you didn’t even mention the Texas Lege. I’m thinking that Texas (the state) has enough crazy to let the whole world adopt Texas (the new meaning).
14daChip, honey, we all love you here but if you and/or your wife go to get your toenails clipped, or to UIL marching contest, or any number of other places, you don’t wanna try to discuss politics or a blue norther may blow in.
15{KM,
Fragile? Not hardly. You used the term “different breed of steer”.
A “steer” isn’t a “breed” of any kind, although all cattle breeds can of course have steers.
Being a steer is a (usually) somewhat unnatural state of emasculation/castration, having had some of your essential bits removed, ouch.
Cattle of any breed don’t seem to particularly mind the condition, but red-blooded ‘Murikan males is a different kind of animal.
And those two I cited above, and their Repukian ilk, aren’t in that cohort, IMO; while they are quite cattle-like (and most of us know how effen downright dumb most cattle are).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cattle#Terminology
16If “Texas” means out of control crazy, what the hell do they use “Florida” for?
17Annaelle Lee said “…what the hell do they use “Florida” for?”
Florida: doom to drown inexorably
“Buried up to his neck in the sand, just below the high tide line, Pirate Pete had been Floridaed by the angry townsfolk.”
“Then, at 11:40 PM, on a moonless night, in a flat calm, Titanic became Floridaed.”
“As soon as the annual average of atmospheric CO2 topped out over 400ppm, Florida was pretty much Floridaed.”
18Annabelle Lee: Florida has the Kingdom of Disney which is the only reason they come. Land at Orlando, leave by Orlando and not much in between.
As for Texas, my view has come through the eyes and words of Miss Juanita Jean. The place sounds beautiful. But it sounds like it’s full of butt-hurt crazy people. Or just like bad parenting, the good people keep letting the bad kids have their way. Texas needs a heavy dose of Grow Up.
19What happens in Texas
20Should stay in Texas
Everywhere else, it’s crazy
(without the gambling and alcohol for an excuse)
daChip, don’t forget Blue Bell . None better
21Norway has it right!
22I live in Texas but was born and raised in Florida. I’m not too far from retiring and I’m looking for somewhere to retire that is affordable. Maybe we can turn this place blue first.
23Has arrived? So, lemme ask. When can it get the hell out of here?
24Unfortunately, many of my Norwegian ancestors who settled in Northwest Iowa have “gone Texas” by electing Steve King to Congress.
Uff da!
25Oops, my ancestors are long gone and obviously didn’t vote for King, but their descendants have, unfortunately. Some of them – like my cousins Ole and Lena – aren’t the b rightest.
http://loveforlife.com.au/content/08/03/06/ole-and-lena-jokes-jokes
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