Your Daily Louie: Sex and Russia
Texas Congressvarmint Louie Gohmert is talking about sex today. That rarely even makes the news because Louie finds a way to talk about sparkin’ almost every day.
He was on the electric radio talking about sex education and said that we don’t need it because kids will find out about it all on their own.
You know, you combine physics with biology and some hydraulics and Newton’s rarely talked about 14th law and you have some backseat hoochy koochie just like Adam and Eve figured it out.
… mankind has existed for a pretty long time without anyone ever having to give a sex-ed lesson to anybody. And now we feel like, oh gosh, people are too stupid to unless we force them to sit and listen to instructions. It’s just incredible.
Yep, you need to learn about s-e-x out behind the barn like Louie did. That, of course, is where Louie also learned about everything else.
But you cannot have an ice cream sex-sundae without a cherry on top, so Louie found a way to weave in communist Russia to sex education.
And it reminds me so much of the summer that I was an exchange student in the Soviet Union back in the Seventies and I was shocked when they were saying ‘no, the children don’t belong to parents, they belong to the state.’ And if any parent said anything in front of their children negative about the wonderful Soviet Union, then we will take their children away and give them to somebody more deserving. And I just thought how horribly shocking that was, that of course parents were the ones who love the children, not the state. And I thought thank God that we don’t have that in our country.
Could somebody please translate that into English for me?
You know that’s the thing about Louie. You always know which way his pickle is gonna squirt – sex and Soviets. He’ll work that into everything.
He also claims that he heard a woman on MSNBC say, “hey, children belong to the state”. No, actually, Louie, that was Uncle Si.
Thanks to Warner and Frank for the heads up.
Good grief. I guess he also thinks kids should learn about math and science back behind the barn too. After all, the teachers used to go out there to smoke. Louie is something else.
1Oh, mamma!!! Louie and his ilk who are caught in a time and brain warp have all the TeeVee comics depending on them for really gut-busting knee-slapping funny stuff to say on their shows. Sometimes wonder if Louie and Company aren’t getting something under the table for whatever slides out of their collective mouths. And, Louie, bringing up the old Soviet Union is so mid-century. Like in the 20th one. It used to be a great distraction to throw into a crowd and get them to panic but shucks, that is just one more dog with a cold in his nose and just can’t hunt any more.
2I’m pretty sure this is an urban legend (or maybe it’s a rural legend) but since it has to do with doing the deed, I’ll pass it on to you. It goes like this:
The Amish neighbors subscribe to a peculiar form of sex education. (No it does not involve livestock.) Male children are given information on how babies get made while female children are informed by their husbands.
If this is so, then Louie is wrong and people can’t figure it out for themselves even when they have cows giving birth in the barn, horses in the field, dogs and cats everywhere and don’t start to think about some of the other farm animals like sheep.
3Poor Louie. Still waiting for his Daddy to have “the talk” with him….
4Louis, barns, sex, the Soviet Union . . . . I got nothing.
5He’s still dumber than a bag of hair.
Louie was an exchange student in the Soviet Union? This explains a lot. I suspect he became a sleeper agent sent back to the U.S. to sow discord and ignorance everywhere he went. He was reactivated, helped to get elected to the Lege, and encouraged to make wildly ignorant statements every week or so. Only Vladimir Putin can call him off.
6OMG! “You know that’s the thing about Louie. You always know which way his pickle is gonna squirt – sex and Soviets. He’ll work that into everything.”
People in the next county could hear me laughing:)
7Very funny, JJ. Louie is even wrong on thanking God about the state not taking our children. For a long time the state did take our children and use them for cannon fodder.
8That must be an extremely sour pickle ’cause it sure can’t be kosher!!
I wonder if Putin would want to adopt Louie and get him out of our hair … there just aren’t enough acceptable words to describe Louie!
9So Louie thinks that young un’s don’t need instruction. Is it any wonder we hear the most incredibly erroneous statements on the subject coming out of those “self-taught” congressmen and women. From clean out rape kits to legitimate rapes leading to few pregnancies, their ignorance is appalling.
10At this point, it should not, but what boggled my mind is his premise of “Let the kids be innocent. Let them dream. Let them play. Let them enjoy their life. You don’t have to force this sexuality stuff into their life at such a point.” Um, Louie, this would require a complete overhaul to our TV and Film and video-game releases. Sex is ubiquitous in those fields and would at least create curiosity. Hell, even before such influences, the curiosity and lack of knowledge often led to way too many unwanted teen pregnancies.
The man needs his lips sewn shut!
11Star, hon, I don’t think Louie’s *lips* are the orifice through which he speaks, most of the time. Just sayin’….
12Having spent substantial portions of my childhood out behind barns of varying size…I can honestly say that I have never, ever seen a goat, sheep, cow, horse or pig use birth control.
But I have seen them do lots of other things.
It was the adult humans in my life that ‘splained the difference. Maybe Louie just likes the barnyard version? SQUEAL.
13Thing is…. This isn’t funny.
Louie Gohmert….. and Rick Perry are “media sensations” every (with deference to Momma) darned time they open their mouths. These are the people ….. who most people think……. are what Texas is all about.
It’s a total insult. Every time they open their stupid mouths, somebody sticks a mike in front of them, or Huff Post writes the story.
I’m really sick of it. These idiots DO NOT represent the PEOPLE of Texas….. and we need to let people know that they don’t.
14I think that Louie and his buddies learned about s-e-x the old-fashioned way, and ended up with an old-fashioned social disease, and are now suffering from late-stage neurosyphilis. Symptoms include:
Confusion
Dementia
Depression
Headache
Incontinence
Irritability
Poor concentration
Psychosis
Have we checked Louie for depends?
15M.Night Shyamalan could make a pretty spooky movie just by following Louie around for a few months. Tag line; “I see crazy people.” Describes both the plot, and what the audience sees on screen.
16Gee, I guess he wants us to remain tops in the country in teen pregnancy. Maybe send the kids to Russia?
17I can’t believe Russia allowed this stupid, stupid man into their country.
18Romberg test for the House and Senate–STAT!
19When was he an exchange student in the Soviet Union? Nothing in his official biographies about that. Anyway, I could see him as a left-over sleeper agent. What a devious plot… undermining our bourgeois capitalist system by planing agents in our legislatures who make the old politburo sound like reasonable adults. Damn sneaky, those evil reds!
20Louie, anti-abortion, anti-sex education, probably anti-birth control. Very logical, right? Does this idiot have any daughters?
21da Chipster, I like your possible diagnosis of the medical problem behind these bone-ignorant remarks, but who exactly is going to “check Louie for Depends”? Won’t be me, I can tell you.
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