You People From Foreign States Get Your Guest Room Ready

September 16, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Republicans in Texas are anxious to put a non-binding referendum on their primary ballot in Texas over whether “the state of Texas should reassert its status as an independent nation.”

It takes 66,894 signatures to get that on the ballot.  I suspect all 66,894 could be happily obtained in any foreign state. 

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My bet is that it would pass in a GOP primary.  You know, until we remind them that their social security payments would stop the next day and that when they go to Louisiana to gamble, they will be foreigners.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “You People From Foreign States Get Your Guest Room Ready”


  1. Better than Foreigners, they would be ALIENS!! oh, the irony!

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  2. It would sicken me to say “President Greg Abbott”, although he would likely take the title of Generalissimo first. Possibly “Defender of the Faith and Lord of All that He Surveys”.

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  3. The Pope has already issued a statement, ordering Catholic parishes, religious communities and retreat houses across all 49 of the United States to take in a family of Texas refugees.

    “10,000 Syrians wasn’t a hell of a lot,” he said, “so you better step up your game when it comes to all the triple-digit IQ refugees you’ll be getting from the new Republic of Texas.”

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  4. Corinne Sabo says:

    Not to mention no military, no federal $$$.

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  5. No federal highway funds.

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  6. Texas is a conundrum. I’m unable to understand how a state with a finite populations seems to have an infinite supply of jackassery.

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  7. I’m going back to Nebraska eventually anyway.

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  8. Will they post new highway signs:

    “Let Texas Mess Itself”

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  9. austinhatlady says:

    He’ll, no! It’s my state and I’m not giving it up!

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  10. hannity is herb tarlek says:

    ain’t it s’posed to read “whole nother country”?

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  11. How is it possible that Texas, which has several high quality educational institutions, has so many downright ignorant morans living there?

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  12. I’d love to have Texas be another country as long as they have to keep their noses out of our business and try to operate a little more sanely. But there are a few other states that ought to tag along for that to have a real chance of working.

    Texas. It’s like a whole other country. And should be.

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  13. UmptyDump – that is a well-known logic problem. The eggheads call it “the Rick Peradox.”

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  14. Whoops– I meant “try to let US operate a little more sanely,” without so many crazy Texans. We’ll welcome the good kind of crazy Texans.

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  15. I recall the petition of some years back. Did anyone save it with all the signatures on it? Is this the one they are gonna run through the wringer again?

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  16. @daChipster – Succeeded by the Greg Abbottoir, where sanity and intelligence suffer a violent death.

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  17. Also, all the military bases will be abandoned so the economy will take a hit around each one and Texas won’t have the US government to help fund welfare. Texas won’t have the federal government to blame for all their insanity and failures anymore.

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  18. Bye, bye FEMA.

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  19. @ Sammy W. (11): That’s because most of the graduates from those institutions leave this state.

    Most of the tea baggers here can’t/won’t connect the dots. “Independence” would mean no US government subsidies or benefits. If this thing ever really got close to being enacted, figure that there would be a mass migration by the baggers into Oklahoma.

    There is a dark side of me that would like to sign that petition to get this onto the Republican primary ballot. It might take something like that to wake the non-baggers up around here.

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  20. Well, I can take one couple and a small child. (The little one has to share the sofa with my terrier.)

    Poor Texas; how so much stupidity can have so much influence and spoil the lives of so many.

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  21. Angelo_Frank says:

    Home values would plummet, no Medicare, no FDIC insurance on deposit accounts, no federal highway funds, no border patrol, no health insurance companies, no federal disaster assistance, and on and on. It would be a losing proposition all around. Of course it’s illegal in the first case as the supreme court already addressed it. Waste of time, energy and money to put it on the ballot but 66,894 dolts will sign the petition.

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  22. OK. Can we negotiate this? I’m all for the nut cases of Texas seceding. But the Republic of Austin has to be allowed to secede from the Republic of Texas. I know, I know. We’ll still be surrounding by rednecks and asshats, but at least we can legalize dope and go nekkid at Barton Springs.

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  23. You know of course that you and Bubba have a standing invitation. Bring Glen Maxey along he’ll fit right in.

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  24. I guess our educated completely sane and informed leaders lost the opportunity now that Jade Helm is done to cry oppression from the feds since they didn’t actually incite a war they would have lost anyway… good grief… so they get to make a pointless non-binding referendum so they have something to thump their chests over until the elections…

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  25. Secession worked out so well last time.

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  26. Went to the link, (ValleyCentral, Channel 4, partly because that’s my former home area, and the TV station owner/founder was a close neighbor, like right across the lane).

    Did any of y’all read the comments to that article?
    Whooeee, the teabagger secessionist batcrap is deep, muy muy hondo, on that page (most all of them furriners, from other states or parts of TX, not Valleyites).
    They are all so effen delusional, outright insane, that it is just simply amazing there are so many of them (just look at the Trump draws).
    They will all be ecstatic (IYKWIM, ewwww; if you’re around any for the masterb…errr…’debate’, don’t partake of the popcorn if they’ve been in it…) tonight watching the Repukes debate.
    The KlownKar stops briefly for a live, on teevee, nationwide circlejerk.

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  27. austinhatlady says:

    Oh Glen, I could go for that.

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  28. Non binding huh. You know the only thing that the GOP holds binding is the determination that, regardless of the effects on anyone, that any Democrats in office have to be defeated.

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  29. As a Californian I will gladly chip in to start building the big wall we’ll need. Maybe I’ll even chip in an alligator or two (sorry, can’t provide any water for the moat; I am a Californian).

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  30. Peoples’ Republic of Austin, here I come! Once there I plan to nominate Glen Maxey Grand Poobah and Benevolent Dictator for Life.

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  31. Glen, you’ll be surrounded like Berlin was. Don’t worry, though, I’ll organize the air drop from up here. We will cascade the Republic of Austin with much-needed supplies like rolling papers. Alligator clips. Doritos JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ flavor.

    And sunscreen. Lots and lots of sunscreen.

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  32. I’ve gotta go with Rick @8.

    If any Texas refugees are thinking of Washington State, try for the west side — the east side is awfully red.

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  33. Aggieland Liz says:

    Sam Houston and Sam Rayburn would be outraged. They would take Abbott and Paxton to the woodshed.

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  34. Linda Phipps says:

    You know, until we remind them that their social security payments would stop the next day and that when they go to Louisiana to gamble, they will be foreigners.

    Honey don’t tell them … let these smug little bastids find out for themselves.

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  35. Forget US Postal Service and FAA handling take offs and landings at the airports, too. Gonna need passports.

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  36. Yeah, except that you don’t stop getting Social Security checks if you move out of the country. (I’m assuming this means retirement benefits, but don’t know about other SS funds like for minor children, etc.) However… and this is a biggie….a lot of foreign banks won’t handle SS checks. Interesting website regarding this is: http://bit.ly/1izN3eh (Expat Info Desk)

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  37. charles r. phillips says:

    Referencing this statement, “It takes 66,894 signatures to get that on the ballot. I suspect all 66,894 could be happily obtained in any foreign state,” I can only say that the other 49 states won’t be foreign until they actually DO secede, and the few foreign states on their side on this issue–Jalisco, Sonora, etc–just want their land back.

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  38. charles r. phillips says:

    Hey, RubyMay, at least east of the mountains isn’t scheduled for total demolition by the Cascadian Subduction Zone.

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  39. Shouldn’t that say
    “Texas
    It’s like a whole nother country” ?

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