You Know That Whole Thing Where Juanita Didn’t Want to See Tom DeLay Go To Jail Because He’s Short, Puggy, and Shook His Butt on TeeVee So He Wouldn’t Last a Week in Prison and She Felt Bad About That?
.
Well, not so much anymore.
Juanita went to eat at a local steakhouse where the cheapest thing on the menu is $29 and that doesn’t include a salad or any vegetables. Admittedly, the food is wonderful, but your dinner is gonna cost $70 even without wine or dessert.
Upon entering the establishment, you see humidors locked behind glass, where fancy pants customers can keep their own private collection of cigars. They even have inscribed nameplates on the humidors.
It’s a bad picture taken quickly – so as not to get caught – with my camera phone, but you can make it out.
It says that Tom Delay has his own private selection of cigars at a restaurant that costs more money to eat damn dinner than most people make in a day. Juanita gets to go there maybe once a year, if she’s lucky, but Tom goes so often that he has them keep his after-dinner cigars there.
“Here’s the deal,” Juanita ponders, “since 1984 he’s been a congressman. His business went bankrupt shortly thereafter. He has no family money, his wife has never worked, and yet he can afford a fancy pants house in Sweetwater and his own cigar humidor at a restaurant that costs as much as landing on Boardwalk. How can that be?”
“Look, he’s throwing little children out on the street from his foster care facility built on political donations, but he can have his own humidor? There’s something real wrong about this deal,” she thinks.
“So, maybe giving up the humidor with the gold nameplate could be a condition of probation?”
I’m certain that would be a punishment to severe enough to deter other congressmen from laundering money. Right?