You Know How It Is When You Have One of Those Dreams That Is So Real That When You Wake Up You’re Surprised It Didn’t Really Happen? Well, That’s Every Day For Tom DeLay.
Tom DeLay, clearly using the Royal We, wants you to know that the justice department is kinky. Real kinky. And only he knows about it. Until he spilled the beans …
No, seriously, you have to watch this. It’s a minute and 17 seconds of your life going “What the crap!”
For those of you at work —
“We’ve already found a secret memo coming out of the Justice Department,” DeLay claimed. “They’re now going to go after 12 new perversions, things like bestiality, polygamy, having sex with little boys and making that legal. Not only that, but they have a whole list of strategies to go after the churches, the pastors, and any businesses that tries to assert their religious liberty. This is coming and it’s coming like a tidal wave.”
Malzberg, who was predictably shocked by the news that Department of Justice was now going to seek to legalize things like pedophilia, asked DeLay to clarify that that was what he had just claimed and DeLay assured him that it was.
“That’s correct,” he said. “They’re coming down with 12 new perversions. LGBT is only the beginning. They are going to start expanding it to the other perversions.”
I have a friend with an interesting theory. She says that the reason some people are so anti-sex is because they are perverted and have some really sicko sexual thoughts. They know the beast must be tamed because they assume we all have those thoughts. Well, there ya go.
Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.
If there’s one thing the right wing is good at, it’s projection.
1The louder they scream about something, the more likely they’re the ones doing it.
H. L. Mencken defined Puritanism as “The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
I am so. Very. Tired. Of Puritans running things.
2Wow, he really has hit the that spinning thing in his head!
3Well, if he’s right, I’m certain there will be alot of “christians” breathing easier. They seem to get into some awfully kinky stuff! I’m just sayin’.
4Also… and this may just be me, but…. does it seem to anyone else that he’s maybe…. a little under the weather?
5I have a tiny bit of strength left in my trembling, aghast fingers to communicate my terror of DeLay’s revelation.
That man is certifiably insane.
6Annabelle Lee, it is all the botox in his face he cannot move it coupled with poor lighting and his make-up artist quit.
7Not for nothin’, but aren’t most of the prominent scandals about homosexuality, pedophilia and polygamy associated various churches and pastors and self-proclaimed godly people?
Gotta tell ya, I’ve heard of more affairs between parishioners in my life than I have between co-workers.
As for all these extra “perversions” becoming the next flavor of the month:
The trick about gay marriage was that public perception changed, and acceptance grew. It reached sociological critical mass, and the rest is some very amazing history that we’ve been priveleged to watch. The acceptance of gay people and the ratification of their dignity came about because people became convinced by the evidence of their own eyes that gays were absolutely and utterly human in all aspects, and that their being out, or being together or even being parents, did NOT cause the decline and fall of America.
It wasn’t the result of some secret “Homocratic” agenda. It wasn’t cooked up by some rainbow-clad gnomes in the basement of the Justice Department. And it wasn’t the opening salvo of a pan-sexual free-for-all. Ain’t gonna be no NAMBLA march on Washington (do they even still exist?)
But if, in the fullness of time, polyamory and/or polygamy become more widely accepted, for example, by generations as yet unborn, even, the great American Experiment will recalibrate, and human freedom will be expanded to afford new definitions of “normal.”
As it always has, albeit slowly.
8Tom DeLay, channeling the ghost of Senator Joe McCarthy. Where’s the blank sheet of paper waving over his head?
9@Annabelle – Not under the weather – he’s transitioning to a male geisha. So many perversions, so little time.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/02/04/the-secret-world-of-male-geishas.html
Also, nice product placement of his book that can be had for a penny on Amazon.
10OMG, ole Tom has taken the express train to Crazy Land!
11Poor Tommie, even his cranial synapses are shooting blanks now, can’t even knock over those carnival duckies anymore.
It’s been a long downward slide for this mofo, couldn’t happen to a more deserving POS (except mebbe Raphael Cruz or LOUIE!).
Will he ever get locked away in some country-club prison for corrupt and pampered pervs?
BTW, it’s been mighty quiet on the Louie-wire, que pasta? He must be off junketing somewhere interesting, eh?
12Paging Jon Matthews. Jon matthews, pick up the white courtesy phone!
13Prove it, DeLay.
14Gonna have to stay up late from now on to catch the late night tv shows.
15He needs a psych eval.
16For those of you from foreign states, Roberto’s reference to Jon Matthews is a Houston ultra conservative talk radio host and good friend to Tom DeLay. He was all the rage in Houston until he confessed to exposing himself to children and having online fantasies about a 3 year old boy. http://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Ex-Houston-talk-show-host-gets-3-year-term-1658279.php
17“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”
18What do these morons not understand about “consenting adults” in this deal? Children and animals aren’t adults and cannot give consent.
@Mark, he can’t be a geisha, they were cultured persons trained in the art of conversation and very well read. They were companions not mere sex toys!
19Oh my!!! For his safety, but mainly ours, DeLay really really really needs to be in a padded cell somewhere.
20how many times do I have to tell you Tom Delay? It’s 2 every 4 hours not 4 every 2 hours.
21I left the sound off because I just wanted to watch his expressions. The best part of the entire interview was the other guy’s eyebrows. (I have to do with with Sarah Palin too.)
22I mean…do this with…duh.
23Delay is just upset that all the things the flag pinned flat backers get busted for doing…which results in Fox News putting a (D) beside their name….is going to be legalized?
24Ummm, nope. Not buying it. We all know the Real America ilk prefers to have their repugnant deviant behavior in smegma soaked dank environs & in their minds….no one is going to usurp their monopoly. He needs a new topic to get his name mentioned.
Oh, yellowdoggranny! Ha he he he ha ha hee hee! Oh no, oh no, oh no. Stop it! My sides are splitting over here! Stop! Stop! Pleeeeese!!!
Oh, sheesh! **wiping eyes**
OK, OK. I know I came here to make a comment. What was it again?
Oh, that’s right, I remember now. Here ’tis:
25The first thing they “came after” was making Tom Delay legal. That was their first mistake.
Maybe we’ll finally find out what gomorrahy is.
26We would never make pediofilia legal, it’s one of the main ways Republicans end up in jail.
27He needs more or less medication. He should not be allowed out without adult supervision.
I agree with SteveThe Returned…put up or shut up. If you have proof, share it. Otherwise, please understand that we all think you are not quite right.
28I don’t know whether to laugh or to be creeped out. Where does he get these ideas?
29What a putz…
30What little mind Delay has is very nasty. I have never in my life heard such a bunch of crap. Mike at 1 is exactly correct; it’s all projection.
31Pedophilia is defined as unnatural sexual attraction to children. Ol’ Tom is very explicit in saying “having sex with little boys” Does that mean he thinks its OK to have sex with little girls?
32Who says that insecticides don’t have long term effects? The bug man has killed more brain cells than insects.
33Actually this is so crazy it’s scary. Someone should lock him up – there’s something not right about that boy.
34Well, if we’re going to be living by the Old Testament, then polygamy should be OK, as well as innumerable concubines. This “one man one woman” thing is just stifling to so many of our “holier-than-thou” thumpers.
And yeah, he’s nutz.
35Ah the old ‘secret memo coming out of the Justice Department trick’! And they said it couldn’t happen here …
36Here’s my idea for a New PSA starring Tomdelay, based on an old PSA not starring Tom delay. First you pop up a nice cutaway of a healthy brain and display “This is your brain…” Then roll a few seconds of that video with enhanced audio, running “This is your brain on Methamphetamine” on a crawl at the bottom of the screen. The PSA should be rated PG13 however.
37That man is certifiably insane.
Of course he is. DeLay is The Bug Man, originally an exterminator by trade, and one inclined to scoff at those he considered over-fastidious about toxins. A lifetime of various poisins.
38I guess they just didn’t have enough space on the sceen. They ID him as “frmr. US House Majority Leader”, but left out “and Convicted Felon”.
One sick puppy. I can’t tell if he needs more drugs, fewer drugs, or just the right drugs.
39Actually, those all sound like pretty old perversions to me.
Typical Republican. No flair for innovation.
40Is that his bucket list?
41I have a list of 12 new perversions. And all of them are named Tom DeLay.
42Incidentally, 12 New Perversions is the name of my new punk cover band.
43Does this mean he’s running for office again? Cause it’s starting to look like being flat-out crazy is what their base wants.
44Holy malathion, Batman! That bug juice has really taken hold and affected more than the ability to count. I wasn’t surprised to hear/read only three of the presumed 12 perversions, since, after all, just two weeks ago this same soul urged us all to defy the 10 members of the Supreme Court….
45It seems DeLay has a reading disability, among other peculiarities. That paper was an ARREST WARRANT for pedophiles, polygamists, beastialists etc. Somebody, please help him with his homework before he goes public. (or pubic, as the case may be)
46Lol ‘Micr says:’
47Perhaps, the video of Delay with “This is your brain on Religious Rightism”
Dear Texas Republicans,
What is it going to take for you to finally feel embarrassed about your own leadership and the people you elect?
JustAsking, Austin, Tx
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