You Knew It Was Just a Matter of Time

May 18, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well hell, they’re spreading.

I told you that whatever Ted, Louie and Steve has is contagious, didn’t I?  But did you believe me?  No you did not.  And don’t tell me it’s some kind of cross-species anomaly.  It ain’t.  There’s no difference between ants and Ted Cruz and you know it.

According to researchers at The University of Texas at Austin, invasive “crazy ants” are slowly displacing fire ants in the southeastern United States. These “Tawny Crazy Ants” have a peculiar predilection toward electronics as well.

“They nest in electronics and create short circuits, as they create a contact bridge between two points when they get electrocuted they release an alarm pheromone,” says UT research assistant Edward LeBrun.

“The other ants are attracted to the chemicals that other ants give off,” he adds. At this point, more ants arrive and create a larger nest.

Which completely explains the whole Tea Party thing.

And there’s a warning:   “The ants should be contained where you find them and then exterminated. They thrive on human movement.”

Everybody be still, dammit, and stomp them out.

Thanks to MB for the heads up.

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0 Comments to “You Knew It Was Just a Matter of Time”


  1. W C Peterson says:

    I wondered about them. I have ants that seem to congregate in the main switch of my air conditioner. I have a new spare switch and I’ve gotten pretty good at changing the switch out after it fails. The easiest remedy is to unplug the air conditioner when it’s not in use, only plugging it in when you need to run it. That seems to extend the switch life a good bit.
    But when I take the switch apart, it is jammed with ant bodies between the contacts.

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  2. Well, there’s no intellectual difference anyway. Ted’s a might taller.

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  3. RepubAnon says:

    A friend of mine had an odd ant problem years ago – his freezer seemed to draw ants to their doom. The freezer had a leaky seal, so ants would get in and freeze – and then more and more ants followed. Open the freezer door, and you’d see mounds of frozen ants.

    I thought at the time that Scott of the Antarctic had reincarnated as an ant colony, and was re-enacting his doomed quest to get to the South Pole. Must have been the chemical signal thing, which spoils my vision of teams of ants on cross-country skis, wearing mukluks and parkas, striving bravely across the frozen wastelands toward their goal..

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  4. RepubAnon says:

    It does sound as though the easy way to get rid of the crazy ants would be to build a bug zapper-type contraption, and put some mashed crazy ants inside. The scent trail of the dead ants would draw more and more crazy ants into the bug zapper section, and thence to that great picnic in the sky… (a jug of water with some cooking oil on top, and a dish in the middle to hold the mashed crazy ants, would probably work nicely as well).

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  5. RepubAnon says:

    There’s actually some considerable differences between Ted Cruz and crazy ants:

    1) Crazy ants place the good of their society above their own personal welfare.

    2) Crazy ants have 6 legs

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  6. The more I read and/or hear about this bozo (my apologies to bozos everywhere!) the more I want to puke!! As an agnostic I can’t help but ask–Dear God! Was not George Bush enough? Then, the very cruel joke of Rick Perry?! Now, this Idiot — Why dear God, why? 😉

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  7. OldMayfly says:

    A couple of years ago our auto-gate started opening and closing randomly on its own. We opened the control box and found that ants (just regular ants) were nesting inside–to get out of the weather, I suppose.

    Now I put a few moth balls in the control box once a year and the ants stay away. I wouldn’t use moth balls anywhere in the house, though. They are toxic and the smell gets into everything.

    We used to have very aggressive red ants nesting under the stone step at the back door. These ants would jump up and bite anyone passing. A very experienced gardener advised me to plant mint there. I did–and the ants left, never to return.

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  8. RepubAnon,

    Hello and thank you for making me spew coffee all over my keyboard this fine Sunday morning.

    I like the jug of water/cooking oil idea really well. Hubby says he will find a place to install such a contraption near the a/c outside.

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  9. maryelle says:

    OldMayfly: Do you mean to say that you have had the remedy for getting rid of Cretin Cruz all this time? Start sending him mint, by the bucketful.

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  10. Crazy ants: one minute in the microwave – doesn’t kill them. Spray with Simple Green – dead on contact.

    Ted CarnivalCruz: Haven’t tried either, yet.

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  11. Get’s my vote for the best political metaphor of 2013 so far.

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  12. If you’ve ever seen these crazy ants, the whole notion of containing them is pretty laughable.

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  13. Yeah, we’ve had those in Pearland for a while. I think it was a Pearland-based exterminator who gave them the name “crazy ants.” We also have a giant billboard advertising a speech by Mike Huckabee at the First Baptist Church. There must be some connection.

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  14. Many insects (and most ants) are attracted to the “smell” of electrical current. My a/c guys have recommended for years that the slab under an a/c unit extend at least 6 inches past the unit on all sides to help mitigate and to give the owner a fighting chance of catching them at it when they head in. Also they recommend opening it up regularly and blowing it out with an air compressor.

    I live in a two story place and for some unearthly reason mine were installed over the back door. Makes it interesting for the a/c guys, but it does keep the critters out.

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