Yo, Marty, Kiss My Butt, and I Mean That in the Most Polished Professional Way
So New York Republican State Senator Marty Golden was sitting around one day trying to decide what’s wrong with the world today. And a light bulb went off over his head.
Women are not polished and professional enough in the workplace! That’s what’s wrong with America!
Under pressure from his chief political opponent, a state senator cancelled a taxpayer-funded event that purportedly would have taught his female constituents to behave in a more lady-like manner in the modern workplace.
New York state Sen. Marty Golden, a Republican, sent out a flyer this week inviting women in his Brooklyn-centered district “to Refresh [their] Business Etiquette and Social Protocol Skills” at a “Polish Professional” workshop later this month. The advertisement offered session attendees the opportunity to learn about “handshakes and introductions,” as well as “posture, deportment and the feminine presence.”
What? No fashion tips for aprons? Screw it, then I ain’t going.
The Overly Elegant Marty Golden
State Senator Marty defended the workshop by saying that the event was aimed at “helping young women become attractive candidates in a competitive job market.”
But, the best part comes right here in words strung together for maximum impact …
Another description of the class on Golden’s website said that attendees would be taught to “sit, stand and walk like a model” and “walk up and down a stair elegantly,”
Oh yeah, because there’s so many jobs that require “elegant” stair climbing. Let’s see, there’s professional stair climber, hooker, …. uh, there’s …., uh…. I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of them.
And hell, the first thing I look for in a banker, a police officer, a CPA, a nurse, a school teacher, a postal carrier, a brick layer, or a freekin’ State Senator is “can she sit, stand, and walk like a model.”
Good Lord, Marty, you represent Brooklyn. Have you ever been to Brooklyn? There are women who can kick your butt in Brooklyn, Marty, and if they can’t, the Juanita Jean School of Professional Butt Kicking has a few openings left for the fall semester.
Thanks to Karen Lee and Ralph and Nancy for the heads-up.
“There are women who can kick your butt in Brooklyn, Marty”
Well, see…that’s the problem, according to Marty. Women should be kissing his (& other men’s) butt not kicking it. Guys like this really should just be put out to pasture. Talk about irrelevant.
1glf, it’s fine with me if they are put out to pasture, just so long they are not used as breeding stock.
2He already chickened out and canceled this idiotic idea.
3Me thinks the guy has watched too many episodes of “Mad Men” and believes it is a model for how today’s women should be. Or maybe he’s seen “The Help” and connects with the ladies of the League (not Skeeter).
4Either way, life has moved on. Way on….
Lord, that’s the kind of crap that my grandmother tried to teach me, and she was born in 1899. At her 50th wedding anniversary, she was still admonishing me, “Lynne, you’re talking with your hands!” Yeah, so?
5Good ole Marty. Propagating the lie that the most important thing a woman can do is to look good. Because, of course, we want to look attractive to men like Marty so they will give us a job. *eye roll*
6I wonder how the women who work for him (assuming there are any) feel about his helpful hints on securing a job. Was that part of their job interview? Sit, stand, climb, descend?
Seriously? His plan sounds like the Charm School our moms sent us to in the summer before 7th grade.
May I suggest State Senator Whack-a-Doodle hold an event to teach Republican men how to treat ALL Ladies with the utmost of respect, rather than property?
7What the HELL??? I started working in the mid-seventies in a midwestern city that will go unnamed, but it was still a heck of a lot like Mad Men even then – don;t speak unless you are spoken to and don’t even think about a promotion if you didn’t have a male part between your legs. Is this country moving backward regarding women’s rights and “place in society”, or am I just imagining that – if it’s not my imagination then I think it’s time to take to the streets.
8Heck, Marty. They already have classes that teach pole dancing.
Most women who hold public office are “ladies”. (Michelle, Sarah, the dumb blonde from Tennessee (I think), and the old gray haired women, from Florida, I think)…. being some of the exceptions. And because they are…… they don’t have to publicly state that they are.
Marty….. if women have to tell people you are a “lady”….. chances are they are not. No amount of up and down the stair case… will change that.
In the South……. most of us know that…..
We are born knowing, and grow up knowing.
Maybe a class for teaching the men, that you know, how to act like “gentlemen” would be more appropriate.
9What is sad is that this was his contribution to the unemployment rate in his state. All of those “job creators” would hire people, if they would just walk and sit correctly. That is what has been holding things up.
It’s not just that he’s a throwback to the 50’s – it also that he doesn’t have a clue about real-world problems.
10I can kick his butt….in a lady-like sorta way.
And so so can my 3 daughters…. who make 6 figure incomes and raise kids at the same time.
Men…who needs ’em. (As I tell my husband)
11I expect ol’ Marty has been experiencing more “feminine presence” lately than he was prepared for.
12I’ve worked for two large corporations – one privately held (one of those damn “small businesses” the GOTP loves – lots and lots of employees but only a few owners) and the other a publically-held international firm.
Both had dress codes that required women to wear closed-toe heels, suits or business-worthy dresses with no low fronts, panty hose (the bastards), and full make up.
Oh, yeah, a real treat that was – particularly for women who worked in word processing or accounting – hidden away from public or client viewing.
Anyway, my husband is an artist. I used to fantasize about him silk-screening a scarf for me to wear that I bet would have earned me a promotion due to its subliminal message: tiny pinstripes made of up of penis and testicles – looking all the world like little flowers, but sending the message “I’m a dude, guys, one of you. Promote me and pay me like I deserve.”
Of course, never had the scarf made but honestly, all the women loved the idea because we knew the men wanted us to look like “ladies” so they wouldn’t have to treat us as equals.
13I’m trying to picture Senator Barbara Mikulski of Maryland “sitting, standing and walking like a model” and “walking up and down a stair elegantly”, and the picture just will not focus. Don’t know how she got to the US Senate without that.
14Lorraine, I hadn’t thought about Charm School in more than fifty years. Lord, that was a truly stupid activity. Learning how to lose gracefully at tennis and bridge made my skin crawl even when I was thirteen. My grandmother had already instilled posture, Emily Post, and piano lessons by the time I attended, so it was pretty much a dud.
15Sounded more like he was looking for more office staff–and if he could work after hours with them to show them how it rally works–well, they might get to ascend a stairway…what young woman would not want that chance?…
16I swear to God when men get old they should just be shot–okay maybe not shot but some measure taken so they keep there nose to the fucking grindstone and stop nosing around skirts (which are only worn at some offices! Thank goodness, pants make so much more sense)
If we wanted to look for a silver lining I suppose we could argue that at least this guy is only 60 or 70 years behind the times. A lot of radical righters prefer the Dark Ages–though I can’t see this guy out jousting to honor his lady in the stands.
17Maybe these old Republican men have a case of collective dementia and can’t remember anything but Leave it to Beaver and Donna Reed? You know, just like if the Star Trek Borg got Alzheimer’s?
18@Texas Ellen – You too, huh? Trying to turn a Tomboy into a Lady in 6 weeks isn’t easy and it doesn’t always fully take. At least I learned how to properly apply subtle makup.
In my case, you can take the girl outta Philly but you can’t take Philly outta the girl!
19This idiot cancelled his class.
20from my heavily padded yet distinctly masculine study in north east Texas….
(My wife helped me edit this. I can’t hit keys with my forefingers fast enough to keep up.)
Archeology is my sometimes hobby. I always wanted to spend a summer in France or Germany excavating a Neanderthal cave, looking for a more or less complete skeleton. Senator Golden inspires me yo excavate closer to home. Surely I will find a Neanderthal in Albany NY.
21Hilarious! After reading this I’ve been wondering who among my unemployed friends would participate nicely in that workshop? I know them, it would be on the news…a mini riot and general mayhem just asking testy question.
22Can someone sign him up for a course on how to remove his head from his butt?
23Ah Juanita, you mentioned the “Juanita Jean School of Professional Butt Kicking” where do I sign up? The oportunity to learn butt kicking from the woman who started the Most Dangerous Beauty Salon” on the whole danged planet sounds pretty good to me!
Afterwards, we can all visit genus moronicus here and then have a nice cold libation to celebrate!
24These wack jobs want to drag us all back to an imagined time in history that never existed, when men were men…and woman knew their place. Good luck with that crap.
25Ah, charm school. I was a would-be hippie chick in the early 60s in Detroit – my mother arranged with several of my friends’ mothers (we called them “the Harpy Club”) for me and several of my friends to go to a three-weekend charm school. Boy, were the mamas disappointed as all three of us took all the lessons, laughed like loons and then used the “you sent us to learn how to put it on, now you HAVE to let us wear makeup to school!” gig. (Oddly enough, once I had to dress for work, I loved panty hose – they sure beat the bejesus out of garters and girdles!)
26KS Sunflower – I WANT one of those scarves! I have a hunch you and your husband could make quite a haul by marketing them on line.
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