So New York Republican State Senator Marty Golden was sitting around one day trying to decide what’s wrong with the world today.  And a light bulb went off over his head.

Women are not polished and professional enough in the workplace!  That’s what’s wrong with America!

Under pressure from his chief political opponent, a state senator cancelled a taxpayer-funded event that purportedly would have taught his female constituents to behave in a more lady-like manner in the modern workplace.

New York state Sen. Marty Golden, a Republican, sent out a flyer this week inviting women in his Brooklyn-centered district “to Refresh [their] Business Etiquette and Social Protocol Skills” at a “Polish Professional” workshop later this month. The advertisement offered session attendees the opportunity to learn about “handshakes and introductions,” as well as “posture, deportment and the feminine presence.”

What?  No fashion tips for aprons?  Screw it, then I ain’t going.

The Overly Elegant Marty Golden

State Senator Marty defended the workshop by saying that the event was aimed at “helping young women become attractive candidates in a competitive job market.”

But, the best part comes right  here in words strung together for maximum impact …

Another description of the class on Golden’s website said that attendees would be taught to “sit, stand and walk like a model” and “walk up and down a stair elegantly,”

Oh yeah, because there’s so many jobs that require “elegant” stair climbing.  Let’s see, there’s professional stair climber, hooker, …. uh, there’s …., uh…. I’m sure there’s more but I can’t think of them.

And hell, the first thing I look for in a banker, a police officer, a CPA, a nurse, a school teacher, a postal carrier, a brick layer, or a freekin’ State Senator is “can she sit, stand, and walk like a model.”

Good Lord, Marty, you represent Brooklyn.  Have you ever been to Brooklyn?  There are women who can kick your butt in Brooklyn, Marty, and if they can’t, the Juanita Jean School of Professional Butt Kicking has a few openings left for the fall semester.

Thanks to Karen Lee and Ralph and Nancy for the heads-up.