Okay, you’re going to think that this is something from The Onion.  It absolutely is not.

There’s a guy named DeWitt R. Thomas, who lives in Big Sandy, Texas.  That’s up in East Texas on the banks of the Sabine River, where crazy grows faster than crabgrass.

Local hero Keith Langston

DeWitt, which has come to be pronounced Dimwit, took his hiney to the Two Rivers Grocery & Market store and purchased himself some groceries, probably sody water and a day’s supply of Mars Bars.

At the grocery store, the sacker, Aaron Menefee,  began to sack DeWitt’s groceries and that’s where the victimization of the white man started.  It was so egregious that it caused  DeWitt to file himself a federal lawsuit.

He stated in a nine-page, hand-written lawsuit that he told the grocery sacker, a black man, “Wait a minute, don’t touch my groceries. I can’t have someone negroidal touch my food. It’s against my creed.”

Yes, DeWitt has a creed other than walking around town dripping crazy.

Aaron Menefee: Scary black man

The checker, a suspicious looking black man named Aaron Menefee, said he thought DeWitt was joking around.  Only in East Texas would calling someone a negroidal be considered funny.  When DeWitt kept repeating it over and over, the checker got outraged and threw him out of the store and Aaron walked to another part of the store.

The store owner, a true gentleman named Keith Langston, told DeWitt that he could not come back into the store.

DeWitt thinks this is religious persecution so he came back anyway right at closing time and when Langston called the police and locked the door until they got there, DeWitt claimed he was being persecuted.

Thomas said his religious beliefs are based on Vedism, which he said encompasses Hinduism.

“Vedism translates into knowledge. I am not this way because I am ignorant. Ignorance is the enemy,” he said.

Thomas said he has not broken any laws and was exercising his religious freedom and the rights he has been given.

“White people are to be protected under the civil rights law just as anyone else,” Thomas said. “It would be the same as if you asked that a congoid (a person from west/central Africa) not touch your food.”

Well, the way I see it, if the owner of the store doesn’t want to do business with an idiotoid, he shouldn’t have to.

Elect me to the Texas Lege and I’ll make that the law.

Thanks to Anna for the heads-up.