Yeah, Well, It’s Not Like Self Control is His Strong Suit In the First Place
Fox News is right up there with the average persimmon when it comes to IQ points – from either its viewers or commentators. That works out real nice in Foxville.
Today they have an interesting theory about George Zimmerman.
Fox News host Gregg Jarrett says that George Zimmerman “has already been punished” for the killing of Trayvon Martin because he “looks like he’s put on a hundred pounds.”
“He does look like a different guy,” Jarrett remarked. “It looks like he’s put on a hundred pounds. Look, he has been in hiding and he fears for his life, and there have been all kinds of death threats. And, you know, he can’t go anywhere, can’t get out and get exercise.”
But he can obviously get to the grocery store and Big Plunky’s Fried Chicken.
But it gets better –
“You eat when you’re under stress and pressure and stuff like that,” Jarrett agreed. “So, you know, he’s already been punished to some extent. We’ll wait and see whether a Jury punishes him further.”
Yeah, because nothing is so punishing as sitting on the coach watching game shows all day while stuffing your mouth with Oreos.
Fox News: a whole new worldview.
Thanks to Irene for the heads up.
When you’re a wannabe cop you know where the donut shop is.
1I watched Fox News once for 10 minutes it made want to sit in the basement of my mothers house and eat ice cream all day.
2If they let him off, I hope he spends the rest of his life hiding and eating donuts. Why should he still have a life when Trayvon lost his so brutally?
3Fox – where brain cells go to die.
4First, I think you just insulted persimmons, which are a beautiful tree yielding good fruit. They are also a lovely xeriscape Texas-native tree. http://www.wildflower.org/plants/result.php?id_plant=DITE3 (If you haven’t had the chance to visit the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center, make it a priority when you are in Austin.)
One can’t say that Fox News yields good fruit. Verdad?
Second, should God decide that George Zimmerman’s heart can’t take the strain of the “stress and pressure and stuff like that,” it’s just possible that Mr. Zimmerman will get his judgement in a higher court.
Last, Gregg Jarrett should know that it was only relatively recently that “[putting] on a hundred pounds” would be considered a negative thing. In most of history, this would mean he was prosperous, healthy, and living well. But this, of course, is assuming that Gregg Jarrett reads history and understands it.
5Has anyone taken a look at Charles Manson? That guy is rail-thin. Stress does that to some people. He obviously has been punished enough and needs to be set free. I will even help raise the money to buy a house for him, right next to Gregg Jarrett’s.
6Uh oh … “… sitting on the “coach” all day …” I think Georgie Pudgie probably ate the “couch” so he has to sit on the coach who is giving him all those Oreo cookies with a side of lip-smacking, finger-licking fried chicken!!
7I’d say most of those donations all the gunnuts send him are going into his mouth. Personally, I hope he is greatly stressed and can never forget he killed an innocent boy.
8As I asked a friend of mine once, “Does this bullet proof vest make me look fat?”
9Y’all said it all. Sheesh.
10I propose the use of a new term….”Foxiverse”
11A Separate dimension is the only plausible explanation.
Making additional bad choices on top of his original murderous bad choice does not qualify as punishment. It qualifies as character.
12Or lack, thereof, LynnN.
13Looks like Rupert Murdoch has decreed that Zimmerman should get off, so the propaganda machine is working full tilt.
14It’s so pitiful what passes for news at faux.
I had a co-worker who did six months hard time for negligent homicide by automobile. He lost about fifty pounds in those six months, then he went into work release and came back to our plant. He put those fifty and more back on in the year he was on work release. If the Faux talking heads are worried about Zimmerman’s weight, a jail sentence might be just the ticket.
15I think he’s trying to look like the most harmless thing.
Something that jurors loved from their childhood.
Something that could never, ever possibly destroy someone.
Mr. Stay Puft
Meanwhile, the Foxnuts were going on about how a bottle of Arizona Tea could be used as a weapon, if you broke it and, you know, sharded someone or something.
Except that it was a big CAN of tea, not a bottle, and it never came out of the pocket of his sweatshirt until it slipped out during first aid.
So, first: so much for CSI: Fox
Second: can someone explain to me how a heavy, unwieldy 23-oz can of tea stays in a hoodie pocket throughout a chase, or an ambush, an attack, a fight, 25-30 punches to the face, a head slammed repeatedly on the ground and a struggle, and then slips out during first aid?
I can’t even keep 47 cents in change in my sweatshirt pocket while getting into and out of an automobile.
16Does the FOX statement mean that Chris Christie did something horrible in his childhood?
17Eating as punishment. What a concept!
18The guy is fat, so I’m supposed to feel so sorry for him that all is forgotten? Will the “already suffered enough” defense work for every criminal charge? I believe there really may be an “already-suffered-enough precedent,” but doesn’t it have to do with once someone has already been hung, they can’t also be drawn and quartered? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have to do with overeating.
19So… if his pants done split, you must acquit?
20When listening to the original call to the PoPo by that Z. Dude, the paranoia and lack of ability to Comprehend the directives being given lead me to assume that he perhaps had been on that most Crackerish of modern Diets, the Meth/Crack Diet. From what I hear, once you leave that Diet,if you’re still alive and have teeth to eat with, you become a magnet to the lbs.
21Just sayin…..
Richard, you win the prize for this one.
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