Yeah, Because The End Times is Like a Cross Between a Ouija Board and Mad Libs
The Steeple People are at it again. And this time they have a Magic Man in the Sky.
Carl Gallups, Advanced Letter Scramble Champion
Gospel Grinder Carl Gallups, who wrote a book called The Magic Man in the Sky, is plenty tired of you folks making fun of him because he called President Obama the anti-Christ. So he’s back, Baby, and this time he has proof!
Carl Gallups advanced the theory, based on Aramaic translations of biblical texts, that Jesus spoke the current president’s name when he prophesized in Luke 10:18 that he “saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.”
According to the theory, which Gallups says he did not develop but promoted, the Aramaic translation of that passage would be: “I beheld Satan as baraq u-bama.”
Do you know what is sad? It is sad when a full grown man does not recognize the word bar-be-que when he sees it in a letter scramble game. That is sad.
And, personally, I think the whole baraq-u-bama thing is a foretelling of the way Auburn cooked Alabama last weekend, but what do I know of the Anti-Christ and who he roots for in college football? I confess that I know diddle squat about that.
Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.
I love you for this.
1Hon, April Fool’s Day is in April, not December. Just saying.
2Isn’t it great to have a book that you can make say anything you want?
3Oh, Mr. Gallups, how con-veeeeen-ient to have found someone to make that par-TIC-ular translation for you. And who was your translator? Could it be, oh I don’t know, SATAN?
4Steeple people is the best phrase for the toxic mentality that I have seen over my life…if only they could be corralled into the
5” here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors, see all the people” hand game and not let loose amongst the rest of us…
“Do you know what is sad? It is sad when a full grown man does not recognize the word bar-be-que when he sees it in a letter scramble game. That is sad.”
Homeschooled.
6A text that was translated from the original Aramaic into Latin and then into English and then translated back to Aramaic?
What could possibly be mistranslated here.
7I raised laying hens for thirty years and when they are content in their nest boxes it sounds like they say “barack”. That is how I learned who to vote for. Layers are way smarter than fauxknee christians.
8Just wondering, does he have any tips on the Super Bowl?
9Sort of reminds me of the Koran “quote” going around a few years ago talking about how the “great eagle” would kick butt on the Muslim world, when the word “eagle” is nowhere in the Koran.
10They are just so doggone desperate for anything … ANYTHING … because Barack Obama had the misfotune of being born black … more like cocoa brown … but these miscreants simply cannot get past the fact that he is black and, dear God, he’s in the White House.
What sad, sad, hate-filled, angry, unhappy, folks … their souls must be like withered up little spotches of nothingness. So, so sad to be these creatures!!
11He’s definitely exceeded the elastic limit of logic there. WAY over.
And the language thing is even more complex than that. Jesus probably said what he said in Aramaic (though, in that day and place, lots of people were multilingual, literate or not, and he would have heard Hebrew, Aramaic, Greek, and Latin and could also have heard several other languages. Might even have learned some of them to some degree. Just sayin’.) At any rate, Luke wrote in Greek. So you’ve got Greek to either English or Latin (and then to English) where the person writing it in Greek is getting testimony from people who may not be talking to him in Greek (though he doesn’t specify) and he may or may not have translated what they said, if their word for something didn’t exist in Greek. Then you’ve got someone who claims that an “Aramaic translation of Biblical texts” comes up with a word that nobody is likely to know, because how many people (including this guy) are Aramaic scholars? And you’ve got someone who doesn’t grasp that a proper name in one language may be a common word in just about any part of speech in another…and vice versa.
Of course it’s clear he grasps nothing but his own ambition, really.
12I know this is a bit off the subject – but is that what is known as a porn star mustache?
13These rwnj’s are headed down that road called
14“Alienation” and will soon find themselves at a dead end, with no room to turn around and unable to put it in reverse.
I would have thought that God could spell better than that. I guess it is hard to get a proof reader to correct God.
15Marcia nailed it. The market for anything racist is huge and will remain huge until 2016 because it galls bigots that the president is a black man. Gallups is just one more whore profiting from bigotry. He and his ilk abuse religion, patriotisim, parenthood, anything that can be corrupted to provide cover for an appeal to racism.
16Hmm. The phrase “baraq u-bama” is not a translation into English. For that it would have to be English.
So the anti-Christ is presumably some guy named “fall like lightning from heaven,” which is the translation. Sounds native American to me. Never did trust those guys ever since we stole all that land from them.
17What a noisome jerk! I wonder if his head would explode if I told him that when I sit down to eat I perform a barak over my food? In other words, I say grateful and thankful words for the food. A blessing!
18This is actually quite old. The first references I’ve seen are from 2009, and it’s been debunked over and over from many directions. But conservasuckers just gotta believe.
19I love that: fall like lightning from heaven. Yes, sounds like native American. Makes me think of Tony Hillerman’s novels. Maybe if we create a big enough diversion the guy will wander off in another direction, like novel writing. Isn’t Tim LaHaye getting kind of old?
20Make stupid people happy and you will be a success in life.
21From middle school through my teen years I heard many a closely-reasoned sermon about who The Beast is, so I can tell you for a fact that it was either Hitler or Stalin.
22I can’t personally read or translate Aramaic, but I do know you can’t spell Carl Gallups in American English without ‘gall’.
23I think those born-agains concerned with the anti-Christ should look in the mirror.
24OldMayfly, you are onto something. At one time it would have been Hitler or Stalin. 70 year later, the possibilities are are multiplying. Is Satan Jim DeMint, one of the Koch brothers or _____?
Seriously, who is yanking these “Steeple People’s” chains?
But before Carl Gallups runs around that tree, like a dog chasing his tail, looking for Satan ….. ah never mind. That’s it, he’s run around the tree too many times and is dizzy. Poor baby, just when he thought he had scored the ‘rapture,’ he’s only dizzy.
25And who has to fear the Anti-Christ? Certainly not righteous men and women.
But Mr. Gallups? Maybe he should be afraid.
26Barukh is blessed in the first word of Friday night prayers…as in Barukh atah Adoni-Blessed are you, our Lord…so maybe their translator is a bit foggy, one of my boyfriends Jewish name was Baruch–taken from that root–Barack, in Arabic meaning blessed, Hussein, meaning good or handsome one, and Obama is a common name amongst the Luo tribe, one of the 3 largest Kenyan tribes. So I go with a blessed good man–handsome and one who has a lot of patience with the current group of idiots that are supposed to be the best of our people–our Representatives–not! They sure as heck don’t represent me, and I am getting angry enough that I am demanding his honorific–Mr. President, when I hear people speak about him–I’m getting less popular–but I don’t care! I never voted for Bush the lesser, but I called him president when he was, it’s the least people can do now…I,like Mr. Jefferson, “tremble for my country, when I reflect that God is just…”, these so called Xians are really getting on my nerves.
27Thank you, Elise. Blessed Handsome One Obama. PRESIDENT Blessed Handsome One Obama. Blessings and protection on our President and his family.
28I remember sitting in my den in California watching Senator Obama giving the keynote speech in 2004. The first thought after being dazzled by his charm and intelligence was that this man would be our President someday. Hey, I’m half Irish from way back…we sometimes know things but he sure didn’t need any help from me except my votes.
29For all of you that haven’t read Dreams From My Father…do so. Its wonderful and fascinating. I adore MY President even more after reading it.
@Carl Gallups: Advice from the depth of my heart… put away the bong… move out of Granny’s basement… There’s a whole big world out there and you’re missing out on it!
30Dang! The Aramaic, Greek, and Latin I learned in high school have failed me (oh, wait, maybe I also learned Hebrew and Spanish), so I’m just gonna go with Elise here. Do idiots like Gallup truly think anyone believes their crap? Aramaic. Hah!
31Thank you for this. And @IronCelt, I can’t stop laughing and it’s annoying my spouse.
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