Y’all, It’s Mississippi Day at the Beauty Salon!
Y’all, I have such an abundance of charming news from Mississippi, that I’ve designated today Hell, Yes, It’s Mississippi Day.
First, we have this for the people who just can’t let go.
A Mississippi lawmaker is proposing two state flags.
Republican House Speaker Pro Tempore Greg Snowden is proposing that the state have two flags: one with the Confederate emblem, which currently represents Mississippi, and another flag without the emblem.
You know, like we used to have separate drinking fountains.
If you want to know how a guy can be so tone deaf, it might have something to do with education in Mississippi. Mississippi is all that stands between Texas being the worse state in the nation for education. And they proudly uphold that standard.
A principal served four years and two months in prison for attempted murder. Another pleaded guilty to embezzling $73,033 in electronics from his school. One teacher struck a student, and several others were accused of misconduct involving students.
All of these individuals surrendered or lost their teaching license, and each of them was later reinstated by Mississippi’s commission responsible for disciplining educators.
And there is even a possible explanation for that. As I was looking around to find more bad teachers in Mississippi, I stumbled across this:
Highway patrol spokesman Eric Henry said the incident began when a vehicle slowed down in front of an 18 wheeler carrying a load of Budweiser beer. In order to avoid hitting the back of the vehicle, the truck driver steered into the median, and the truck overturned.
In the oncoming lane, the driver of a Toyota Tacoma saw the accident happen, and slowed his vehicle, at which point he was rear-ended by another 18 wheeler. That pushed the Tacoma into the back of a third 18 wheeler.
Henry said there are no injuries, but authorities will be on scene for a few hours clearing the spilled beer from the median.
You would be hard-pressed to prove those were not empty cans leaving Mississippi. I bet it was the best attended highway clean-up in the state.
Thanks to AlanInAustin for the original heads up.
Oh, Lord, Lord! That reminds me of a similar accident on one of the windy roads in southwest Virginia many years ago. The clean up was the fastest on record cuz somebody notified all the colleges in the area! That particular accident also involved kegs as well as cans.
As a former teacher, it makes every part of me crawl when I read where BIG time ex cons were re-licensed to work in schools! Doesn’t anybody in MS love their kids?
1MS Day at the Salon: free Mississippi Mud packs for all!
2daChipster, there’s a Texas joke I won’t tell because I really am afraid of Mama. Let’s just say the customer goes hurtling out the back door into space, where the sign says: “you’ve just been Drumpfed.” Perhaps The World’s Most Dangerous Beauty Salon, Inc. could soften their landing with a little Mississippi swamp quicksand.
3I proffer a suggestion.
I think those states that attempted to secede from the Union in 1861 should either fly the United States flag upside-down the international symbol of distress, because those states are in severe mental distress and need tons of therapy to get right or the white flag symbolizing their surrender in 1865.
I prefer the white flag, which the other states should require them to fly until a majority of the adults in each state do get right, using a definition that normal people would recognize. Y’know an absence of hate, no desire to enslave fellows due to their race or gender or sexual orientation etc. Really difficult stuff that the sons of the rebellion could never accomplish.
4Bud Lite?
5What better use could ‘Bud Lite’ have than to be leaked all over a highway median? Or mixed with hog feed as a supplement…
Still haven’t figured out how they get them Clydesdales to squat over them bitty cans with any accuracy. Anyone know?
6e platypus onion, they use funnels attached to the horses then hose the ‘product’ on over to the bottling line.
7@#6 BWAHAHAHA
8epo, I think they must use those catheters you see advertised on the teevee, upsized to horse-size of course. Ever wonder how many gallons-per-day-per-Clydesdale?
Heard the infamous Micheal Brown (W’s Brownie) is now in charge of A-B’s Buds brewmaster training.
One good thing. As long as Mississippi has a school. Texas and Arizona will never be in last place. Not that we won’t try.
9I seem to recall someone (won’t say who) saying after his first drink of American beer:
“PUT IT BACK IN THE HORSE!”
Mind you, European beers have more taste… and much more alcohol than is allowed in the US.
10Story is that somebody sent some American beer to a British lab for analysis, and it came back as “Your horse has diabetes.”
e platypus, only female horses squat. You ever see a male horse? Kinda like a male dog.
11Rhea along the same lines, a former client was required to give samples now and then. He thought he would outsmart the testers by taking in a sample from his wife. Analysis came back free of drugs, but showed he was pregnant!
12Whoa Nellie…Remember the leader of our State board of Education is a graduate of Liberty University; books presenting the enslaved as “seasonal laborers” were considered by the text book committee, and an east TX woman running for the State Board of Education believes baby dinos were on Noah’s Ark and did not survive to reproduce because they were too young, therefore became extinct.
In addition our Lt. Governor is trying to find ways to funnel education funds to religious charter schools. Lardhepus!
@maggie..Do you have a link for the Cons in schools. Would love to research it as would my sister who is trapped in MS.
13Contact Information:
Director Office of Educator Misconduct
14Michael Martin
601-359-3995
Yes, two flags!
15But why stop there?
Republican House Speaker Pro Tempore Greg Snowden should also introduce legislation to provide the state with two sets of statutes, so police officers and judges have a choice of laws to enforce in any given situation.
With very little effort, the good ol’ boys can have back their good ol’ days. Yee hah!
Maybe they need elephants and rhinos. They are noted for dragging their pizzles in the dirt before uh…….. you know. And to think I got diphtheria eating dirt as a child.
Truly amazing what one can lern hear. (not necessarily a beer can, neither)
16Sandridge-Heckuva Job Brownie would be doing quite well if he could get Clydesdales to sip out of teacups as Arabians are said to do. Wonder what qualified him for that job?
17For all the federal aid poor states like Mississippi suck in, perhaps they should be educated about the fact that losing the
18Civil War was the best thing that could have happened to them.
And by “educating”, I mean pulling all that aid if they go ahead and make the confederate rag their flag.
epo,
“Before joining the DHS/FEMA, Brown was the Judges and Stewards Commissioner for the International Arabian Horse Association, (IAHA), from 1989-2001.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_D._Brown
Looks like after a long string of jobs he’s got a radio show, whoop.
The whole crippling of FEMA, under Bush/Cheney (and Reagan) is a perfect object lesson for the Repukian Plan for compromising, co-opting, basically destroying functional governance for the ‘commonwealth’, and profiting from it all.
19You are so right.
20Sitting over here in Ala. close to the Miss. line and being very very quietly amused.
21Mine is a beauty question: did you use a curling iron on his bangs?
22@cheryl
I’d suggest perhaps a steam iron. Or a tire iron.
23Snowden is also anti-education!
http://blog.gulflive.com/mississippi-press-news/2015/01/state_rep_greg_snowden_urges_d.html
24You know, in elementary school, kindergartners and first graders are encouraged to write, using “invented spelling”. We are seeing a new kindergarten level of policy making, called “invented government”.
25Oh boy.
26